Miscellaneous: Today, I went to a salon. As soon as I walked in, someone ran...

By badhair - United States

Today, I went to a salon. As soon as I walked in, someone ran to me and inspected my hair and said, "We can fix this." I was there to get my daughter's hair done. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36016

You deserved it

6205

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Get it on, bang a gong

Marxism intensifies

Ambien conversations are the worst

By Emily 1992 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, and for the past 3 days, I've had a massive migraine. It finally went away while I was at work, thanks to my nose bleeding all over the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1713

You deserved it

104

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Phoenix

Today, I wanted to talk about marriage and our future with my boyfriend of over 10 years. My 30-year-old boyfriend responded by hiding under a blanket and pretending he couldn't hear me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3012

You deserved it

660

Favorite

By faceless_sailor8 - United States

Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29591

You deserved it

5707

Favorite

By Pongy

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44543

You deserved it

3253

Favorite

By LNamesOnly - Australia

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31553

You deserved it

4161

Favorite

By anabolic - United States

Today, my boss said he was giving me a significant raise. After he requested the payroll department to raise my salary they informed him he needed to fill out a one-sheet form. He took my raise away because he didn't want to fill out that sheet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69594

You deserved it

2725

Favorite

By niquey62307 - United States

Today, I found out my neighbor has been watching my husband and I have sex for the 2 years we've been married. He slaps his sausage and smokes 5 cigarettes while he watches. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24211

You deserved it

5719

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Aldergrove

Scammed

Today, after a little detective work, I found out the money that recently went missing from my college fund was transferred by my mother, to her own account. She claims it's to pay a parking ticket. Maybe I'm just stupid, but I didn't know they fined people over $3,500 for a parking violation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29300

You deserved it

2218

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Richland

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25013

You deserved it

2211

Favorite

By anon - United States

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57795

You deserved it

76586

Favorite

By a4rk - Malaysia - Sibu

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24716

You deserved it

4461

Favorite

By pgmonster - United States - San Francisco

Today, I backed into an expensive SUV only minutes after my boss congratulated me for being the only employee to not wreck a company car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29836

You deserved it

5348

Favorite

By Iwtumn - Austria - Deutschlandsberg

Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32950

You deserved it

7152

Favorite

By Happyunlucky - United States - Andover

Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61769

You deserved it

3333

Favorite

By Gumfanatic302 - United States

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69024

You deserved it

3170

Favorite

By Anon - United States - San Antonio

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. As we waited for our food he took my hand and said, "I think we should break up." When I got outside, my tire was flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20948

You deserved it

1373

Favorite

By anonymous

Today, I had to fake fall down the stairs so my mom would stop texting and actually pay attention to what I was saying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30461

You deserved it

14125

Favorite

By yogapants - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29175

You deserved it

14802

Favorite

By motherless - Australia - Sydney

Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30632

You deserved it

2808

Favorite

By MushyKetchup - United States - Amarillo

Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23131

You deserved it

1972

Favorite

By Kirby - United States

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot." Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29710

You deserved it

4391

Favorite

By "96Ellie"

Today, I finally got a product I ordered 2 weeks ago as a free trial/ only pay shipping deal. Also today, the same company took an extra $130 out of my account without authorisation. Best part: when I called to sort things out, they told me they had no record of my order details. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4962

You deserved it

607

Favorite

By nuberific - Canada

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58202

You deserved it

3478

Favorite

By me - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25063

You deserved it

3834

Favorite

By walken away - 25/6/2020 23:00

Nice choice

Today I had the dirtiest, kinkiest, most vividly realistic sex dream of my life. I was getting it on with Christopher Walken. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1214

You deserved it

316

Favorite

By notmarriedyet - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. Everything went great, except that no one showed up. Apparently, the address of the invitation was typed wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40715

You deserved it

16910

Favorite

By Myself - United States

Today, after a few months of my neighbors friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38336

You deserved it

16940

Favorite

By EMTGirl'sLife - United States - Basking Ridge

Today, I responded to an emergency call for an intoxicated 83-year-old man with chest pains. As I leaned forward to check his lung sounds, he groped my chest and said, "Nice rack". I just wanted to see if he had difficulty breathing. I don't even get paid for this, I'm a volunteer for the town. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34476

You deserved it

2812

Favorite

By CantBlink - United States - Jersey City

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26600

You deserved it

2691

Favorite

By and he wonders why I'm anxious - Netherlands

Today, after years of torment by my anxiety disorders and therapy and medication not helping, I've made the decision to try hypnosis. After doing a Google search and finding out my therapist is a man, my overly jealous fiancé insisted on joining, "because he might hypnotise you into cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks

20095

You deserved it

2359

Favorite

By itisobviouseinstein - United States - New York

Today, a bible toting evangelist on the street ambushed me and asked me what my religion was. I wear a hijab. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24729

You deserved it

3671

Favorite

By iworkatofficedepothomes - United States - Laguna Hills

Today, a customer came into our store and asked if we sold "child-sized coffins". This isn't even the weirdest question I've been asked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43888

You deserved it

4643

Favorite

By heheheh - Canada

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9951

You deserved it

57603

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45384

You deserved it

3324

Favorite

By "GumStickExtraGmail" - United States - Arvada

Today, I found my daughter playing on my phone. When I got it back, I saw multiple texts to my boss saying that I quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3625

You deserved it

590

Favorite

By RadioactiveKush - United States - Monroe

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream "YEAH" "WOO HOO" and "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing Amazing Grace in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33988

You deserved it

2493

Favorite

By 1337fade - Denmark

Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38129

You deserved it

9696

Favorite

By thewallrules - United States

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36873

You deserved it

3442

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking through the store when I saw a little boy point to me and say something to his mom. I was out of earshot at the time, but I got close enough just in time to hear the mom reply, "God says we have to love everyone, even if they're ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34440

You deserved it

2741

Favorite

By Porkchop05 - Canada

Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51813

You deserved it

14660

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By allmidnighteyes | 10

#560022 - Sunday 13 September 2009 9:16

YDI for having shitty hair

By oldskoolman85 | 0

#560034 - Sunday 13 September 2009 9:18

Who cares?

COMMENTS

By allmidnighteyes | 10

#560022 - Sunday 13 September 2009 9:16

YDI for having shitty hair

redbluegreen | 40

#560051 - Sunday 13 September 2009 9:22

Agreed.

LaytonexLuke | 0

#560258 - Sunday 13 September 2009 12:00

Seconded.
There must have been something seriously wrong with it for the hairdresser to make that assumption.

--------
VLOG WIN: http://www.youtube.com/user/CynicalDyke

log1k | 3

#560768 - Sunday 13 September 2009 17:26

This isn't even a FML. Oh noes! your hair doesn't look nice! It's the end of the world!... wow.. how the hell did this get posted on FML..

the_stereotype | 0

#560837 - Sunday 13 September 2009 17:57

it doesn't mean she had shitty hair. some people in salons can be just obnoxious, and they will just spit out their opinion. it's just ridiculous

THEsuperMANLYman | 10

#4329794 - Friday 20 April 2012 6:13

Do u have shitty hair?

By teffyweffy | 6

#560023 - Sunday 13 September 2009 9:16

hahahahaha wow

By jackkerouc9 | 0

#560025 - Sunday 13 September 2009 9:16

The classic did you loss a fight with a lawnmover hair. FYL

By KnotSlipKnoTSiC | 0

#560030 - Sunday 13 September 2009 9:17

YDI for calling this an FML

davidomke | 0

#562097 - Monday 14 September 2009 6:22

i love you

By Kickens07 | 0

#560031 - Sunday 13 September 2009 9:18

email me, faker_15live.com!!!

By oldskoolman85 | 0

#560034 - Sunday 13 September 2009 9:18

Who cares?

By cr4ckb0n3f4n | 0

#560055 - Sunday 13 September 2009 9:23

don't worry, barbers tell me that all the time.

By danxaspires | 0

#560060 - Sunday 13 September 2009 9:26

AHAHA! xD that's so classic. i hope you let them fix it.

and #4? win.

By blackcatcutie | 0

#560086 - Sunday 13 September 2009 9:34

wow....people shouldn't assume....that's just plain out RUDE :(

By BadOwner | 0

#560091 - Sunday 13 September 2009 9:35

Today, I made an effort to get out of my 1 bedroom apartment and make some money for my five kids and laid off wife. Salon was empty untill a lady and her daughter came. I told her "we can fix this!" to my family. She cussed me out. I am being evicted tommorow. FML

mejiiaa | 0

#2647160 - Thursday 9 June 2011 9:25

lol