All the FMLs

By onemoreruinedthing - 24/01/2010 00:26 - United States

Today, my little brother learned to write his name. How did he tell the family? By writing it in permanent marker all over my 100 year old piano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 642

You deserved it 2 661

By Queasy - 24/01/2010 00:15 - Canada

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 262

You deserved it 6 083

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 23:18 - United States

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 736

You deserved it 21 330

By fatty - 23/01/2010 21:44 - United States

Today, I asked my friend who is a fashion major why she didn't want to use me as a model for her senior project. She said my boobs were too big. I doubt it'd have been an issue if I were a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 694

You deserved it 8 206

By Aphrodite - 23/01/2010 21:13 - France

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, when the Taco Bell I'd eaten for lunch came back up for round two. Undigested rice and beans got stuck in his hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 155

You deserved it 7 752

By notaguidette - 23/01/2010 19:47 - United States

Today, I weighed myself. When I was fifteen, my mom yelled at me, saying that I was going to end up being 200 pounds by the time I was forty. Well, mom, you're wrong. At this rate I'll be 200 pounds by the time I'm twenty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 976

You deserved it 37 980

By rainydays79 - 23/01/2010 19:12 - United States

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 438

You deserved it 60 092

By Moondoggie_ggk69 - 23/01/2010 17:53 - United States

Today, I was washing my hair in the shower when the water went ice cold. It's 20 degrees outside and we have soft water which takes a longer time to wash away soap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 541

You deserved it 2 910

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 16:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 874

You deserved it 6 296

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 15:06 - United States

Today, the boy I've liked for the past 8 years asked me out and then dumped me when he realized that I was taller than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 587

You deserved it 3 387

By SINGLE - 23/01/2010 10:27 - Australia

Today, I planned my own wedding down to the very last detail, including favours for my guests, the sweets buffet and the bouquet of flower brooches I want. Too bad I'm still single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 867

You deserved it 37 806

By fisherman - 23/01/2010 10:12 - United States

Today, I went fishing with friends looking to catch big redfish. During the trip, one of the men caught a 50 pound monster which I put away. At the end of the trip they wanted to take a picture with it. I went to wash off the fish in the water. Apparently the fish wasn't dead and swam away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 947

You deserved it 35 275

By weirdlove - 23/01/2010 08:38 - Australia

Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 643

You deserved it 8 009

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 870

You deserved it 4 489

By Aeroboss - 23/01/2010 06:40 - France

Today, my mother machine-washed a suit I rented for a friends wedding, despite me informing her that it was dry-clean only, and that the store would take care of it. I now owe $1600 to replace the suit, and my mum is refusing to help pay, as she was "only trying to help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 685

You deserved it 3 139

Aeroboss tells us more.

Aeroboss 8

Monday 8 February 2016 20:39

Hello guys! OP here. Did not think it would get posted. So, to add onto the story, my friend's wedding was postponed a week because we had a little rain and he wanted an outdoor wedding. My mom usually is a pretty wonderful woman, but she is still used to cleaning up after myself and my siblings, probably because my youngest has muscular dystrophy and can't walk. We ended up sorting it out with the company, who informed us they could send us a new one. To be honest, repairing the suit would have cost less than just renting another one. Anyway, thanks for listening to the rant. Bye.

By estallidos - 23/01/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 267

You deserved it 2 468

By voltronn - 23/01/2010 05:04 - France

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 058

You deserved it 6 996

By Chan - 23/01/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 113

You deserved it 40 591

By oldschool - 23/01/2010 02:10 - United States

Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 410

You deserved it 28 925

By HOLYCOW - 23/01/2010 01:01 - Canada

Today, while grooming my horse, a spider crawled onto my ear. As if that was bad enough, I'm extremely arachnophobic, so I shrieked out of habit, which in turn caused my horse to freak out and kick me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 166

You deserved it 6 669

OverTheJump tells us more.

OverTheJump 0

Friday 5 February 2010 22:42

Ok, my horse is a freaking rescue horse. He panics at the drop of a pin, I rescued him just a month ago from near death because of all the abuse he's been through. I'm currenty rehabilitating him and helping him through this rough patch.