Work: Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through...

By Anonymous - 19/10/2010 06:37 - Australia

Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through when it rains. I just got caught in a storm on my lunch break, and still have 3 hours of work to go in my male dominated office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 491

You deserved it 8 650

Work

Walk the line

Must be one hell of a novel

Are you a wizard?

By Broke - 04/12/2013 08:27 - United States - The Colony

Today, I went to an ATM to see how much money I had in my account. I put the card in. It never gave it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 908

You deserved it 4 108

I'm Jim Morrison, I'm Dead

By lizardhater - 12/03/2020 22:09 - Singapore

Today, a lizard got caught in some loose duct tape in my office. A perk of working alone, I get to clean up. Lizards scare the Bejeezus out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 256

By Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard - 06/08/2013 21:55 - United States

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 217

You deserved it 4 847

By breadcrumb - 06/07/2015 06:03 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while at work, a customer, who was also on his phone, rudely asked what kinds of bread we had for his sandwich. After I told him we had many different kinds to offer, he cut me off, told me to stop playing stupid, and stormed out after holding up a long line of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 858

You deserved it 2 083

By pussy - 04/05/2009 14:46 - Italy

Today, I was talking to my boss about her children. She told me she didn’t want them to develop any problems by letting them sleep with the light on. I didn’t tell her last night I slept with the light on because I’m scared of ghosts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 313

You deserved it 44 764

By Anonymous - 19/05/2013 20:33 - United States

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 610

You deserved it 6 372

By TrolleyCollector - 13/05/2016 09:10 - Australia - Seymour

Today, at work, the shopping carts have coin locks on them so people put them back or don't go stealing them. A lady couldn't find a coin, so I unlocked one with my key and said to her, "It doesn't look like you will run off and steal it" as a joke. She replied, "I can't run darling, I have an artificial leg." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 120

You deserved it 1 986

By ashbeat - 01/01/2013 15:20 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 445

You deserved it 4 372

Charming lady

By the diabetic necromancer - 15/03/2021 02:00

Today, I accidentally left the pantry open. My narcissistic mother’s response was to spit on me and tell me to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 58

By bym5052 - 15/07/2011 00:28 - United States

Today, I got into my first car accident. I side swiped the truck next to me merging into another lane. He was in my blind spot. It was a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 796

You deserved it 14 525

By walkingdictionary - 18/01/2013 02:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 607

You deserved it 36 817

By emoflowers - 10/04/2012 02:51 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 386

You deserved it 3 320

Stealth attack

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 16:58 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, I was cooking when I got jumped from behind by my friend's cat, who thought my back would make a great lookout perch. Yesterday he tried to sharpen his claws on me. Last time I looked in the mirror I didn't look like a tree trunk, but maybe I need glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 142

By LLCoolBean - 03/03/2011 08:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 536

You deserved it 58 748

By forever alone - 05/05/2019 04:00

Today, I was so desperate for someone to talk to I called various restaurants pretending to be interested in ordering food, just so I could have a conversation. I called eleven different places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 933

You deserved it 796

By Nikki - 08/06/2019 22:00

Today, I walked into my bathroom to my boyfriend bragging about how much better his butt looked than mine, all while wearing my jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 234

By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 14:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was getting out of the car, my 7-year-old son opened the door for me. I thought it was very gentlemanly of him to do that, until he smashed my thumb with the car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 930

You deserved it 1 311

By Anonymous - 11/10/2013 15:40 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's the fifth day in a row my workmate has worn the exact same clothing. We share the desk. I'm absolutely positive he hasn't hit the shower since last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 028

You deserved it 3 154

By ifmlftw - 22/06/2011 04:03 - United States

Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 020

You deserved it 3 047

By BedazzledAlpaca - 08/12/2014 05:03 - United States - Englewood

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 771

You deserved it 4 286

By anonymous - 29/01/2011 12:41 - Australia

Today, my mother walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. Afterwards, she informed me I would look a lot hotter if I smiled more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 717

You deserved it 8 920

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 23:49 - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 281

You deserved it 4 885

By prin - 05/09/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, someone asked my fiancée and I how we met. She said, "Well, it was just supposed to be a one night stand!" and laughed, right as I was about to take her hand and say, "It was love at first sight!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 517

You deserved it 5 787

Thanks, Stephen King

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 00:02 - United States - Buford

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 660

You deserved it 7 995

By screwed - 19/11/2009 03:31 - United States

Today, my dad came home from Vegas. Today, my college savings account is down by $64,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 090

You deserved it 3 181

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 334

You deserved it 6 674

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 841

You deserved it 65 591

Leaving makes sense

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 21:30

Today, I finally left my bitch girlfriend with her son, who has difficulties and violence issues. Now everyone is telling me I should go back, because the kid needs a father, never mind that I’m depressed and in therapy for suicidal urges. Guess my mental health doesn’t matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 119

Bigmouth Strikes Again

By Anonymous - 29/10/2019 04:03

Today, I was involved in an intense argument with my dad. Just as I yelled, "You haven't done one thing for me", my phone rang. The same phone that, as of today, my dad no longer pays the bill for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 4 870

By DeeDee - 04/02/2014 22:08 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 662

You deserved it 5 419

By rmb131 - 20/03/2009 04:33 - Canada

Today, I went to the dentist. He asked me to lean my head closer to him so he could get a better look at my teeth. He was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 771

You deserved it 6 351

By lol - 25/01/2012 15:54 - Canada

Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 024

You deserved it 30 304

By Username - 12/11/2011 21:42 - United States

Today, my daughter in law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 655

You deserved it 4 604

By screwedhousemate - 28/03/2011 11:52 - United Kingdom

Today, my three housemates got into a huge fight and ended up declaring their undying hatred for each other. They now refuse to talk to each other, and I've become their go-between. Yesterday, we signed the lease for another year in the house together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 848

You deserved it 4 259

By Sheggie - 30/01/2010 05:06 - Australia

Today, I found a wallet belonging to some guy, it had $355 inside. Because he had his address written inside, I decided to return it hoping for a reward. I drove for 40 mins and finally got to his house during peak hour. All he did was say "oh cool". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 581

You deserved it 15 037

By tbw - 12/01/2012 00:31 - United States

Today, I decided to get my ass in shape and went to the gym. I got motion-sickness on the elliptical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 048

You deserved it 5 788

By athlete47 - 03/08/2019 14:00

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I was "changing too much." My big change was a haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 125

By CapeRanger - 04/10/2009 18:13 - South Africa

Today, I drove my cousin to her wedding. The photographer said I was too ugly for the official photos so they searched the crowd for a good looking guy to pose as the driver in my new car. No one in the crowd stopped to defend me. My mom told me it's my own fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 823

You deserved it 4 755

By Sarah - 19/10/2010 23:06 - United States

Today, I finally quit the job that I've been complaining about. Before I could tell my husband, he informed me that he had been laid off, and was thankful we still had my income. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 586

You deserved it 17 207

By BunniesOnAcid - 03/07/2012 23:01 - United States - Clinton

Today, I was at the airport. I was on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was 4. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to f*ck off. The strange man was my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 730

You deserved it 4 101

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Top comments

Ali_Br_fml 33

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:06

Ooh, sux to be you... good for them, bad for you. guess they got a show.

smokeymcpottt 3

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:16

Please! Don't act as if you don't love it!

dayve 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:06

first?

loveurlifeJK 5

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:06

Not first! :D

paid2think 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:08

Oooo nice!

TinyDude 10

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:40

Well... Like u said xD MAYBE

Ewokinator 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 17:37

Ok...I live in Perth, West Aus, and it hasn't done more than sprinkle in effing forever> the last storm was in March. I have to call BS

louie111887 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 21:51

i know right ? like she doesnt KNOW that would happen. i swear women do things like this to gain attention ALL the time in life hahaha

Thadius 0

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Wednesday 20 October 2010 13:41

@ #39Try again retard. It bucketed down in the CBD at 11:30 today. Not to mention how humid and overcast it was all morning.

Ali_Br_fml 33

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:06

Ooh, sux to be you... good for them, bad for you. guess they got a show.

Ali_Br_fml 33

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:13

what happened to 1 & 2? they were there before. ah well... my iPod app makes comments disappear all the time, throws away comments I make... etc.

brightnite 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:37

ydi for wearing a shirt to work.

heyred 11

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 17:51

It's a good day to ask for a raise!

KiddNYC1O 20

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 19:19

44 wins.

natirixoxo 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 19:19

good time to ask for a raise ;)

TiffanyBlews27 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 21:46

And 44 stole 10's joke. It's gonna happen. Even I was thinking the same thing when I read the post.

Scoty12C 6

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 22:29

23 wins lol

viau 13

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Sunday 29 September 2013 15:38

hehehe i tought exactly the same

surferchick96 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:08

friends with benifits!!!

DocBastard 38

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:12

Benefits* And what friends? What are you even talking about?

skorpien 1

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 17:15

"Coworkers with benefits" just doesn't quite roll off the tongue? Or it could just be an utter fail. That's always possible.

marinus_fml 19

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:11

Sounds like a storm in a tea cup. One day you'll look back at it and laugh!

HomeAl0ne 20

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 23:15

Technically, in this case it's a storm in a C cup.

Icyyy 0

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Wednesday 20 October 2010 4:39

Lmao! ^Win!

mckibabe 7

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Wednesday 25 April 2012 10:07

I love how well the picture works with the comment^^ :) love that movie though

artex1024 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:12

always keep a sweater at work.

Ali_Br_fml 33

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:15

um, or pics or it didn't happen... that's what I always hear... I mean read.

smokeymcpottt 3

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:16

Please! Don't act as if you don't love it!

kaitlynjane 28

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Monday 7 October 2013 11:45

Yeah, because there's no way she's a smart woman and a hard worker, as long as she's putting her body on display for every man to stare at and objectify with their perverted fantasies, right?

crudeandrudeguy 29

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Thursday 28 January 2016 18:11

See, 115 totally gets it... What, sarcasm? Booo

DarkHelmet 10

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:21

I concur with that statement

ArtIsResistance7 1

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:23

Australia is having a good influx of FML's ;P Apparently a shit-storm is circling over the island nation...stay tuned for weather updates. Maybe today is a good day to go ask for a raise!