Transportation: Today, I temporarily got off the bus for the other students to...

By Anonymous - 19/10/2010 10:33 - Australia

Today, I temporarily got off the bus for the other students to get off, because they push and shove along their way. Then the bus driver closed the door on me and drove off. My laptop was on that bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 444

You deserved it 17 178

Transportation

The smell detective is on the case

Broken heart

You tried

By Mito - 10/09/2017 23:15

Today, we had an impromptu meeting to get to know the new additions to the team. They asked me to introduce myself. I started a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 543

You deserved it 302

By bluesox4 - 06/02/2012 05:50 - United States

Today, I found out that the only thing worse than a psycho, overbearing, controlling girlfriend is a psycho, overbearing and controlling ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 192

You deserved it 4 110

By brokeasajoke - 01/11/2013 12:58 - United States - El Reno

Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 722

You deserved it 10 730

By Pimpleeater - 20/12/2011 07:45 - New Zealand

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 393

You deserved it 5 648

By Idk - 29/05/2014 06:46 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 640

You deserved it 5 083

By badhairday - 26/12/2010 01:38 - United States

Today, after months of her begging me, I let my girlfriend cut my hair for the first time. It turned out so badly that we are now "taking a break until it looks normal again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 639

You deserved it 5 884

By YoshiSqu4d - 03/07/2019 14:01

Today, someone tripped the fire alarm at the hotel I'm currently staying at while I was taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 529

You deserved it 95

By fuck - 14/08/2011 19:31 - United States

Today, while out shopping, I noticed a seedy bum kept following a girl around the store. Trying to be a good samaritan, I trailed them into the street. The bum jogged up behind her and looked like he was about to grab her, so I ran up and tackled him to the ground. Turns out he was her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 780

You deserved it 15 745

By betterthanhodor - 03/06/2015 15:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 065

You deserved it 5 905

By lovedoesnotexist - 24/09/2015 11:52 - Belgium

Today, my long-term girlfriend broke up with me because my hair "falls out" and I "will definitely be bald soon", even though it's not that bad. The same girl who I supported through her chemotherapy and gave her promises that I would stay with her no matter how she looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 424

You deserved it 1 951

By Rothaar - 26/01/2009 22:19 - United States

Today, I was at the gym and as I was pulling out my earphones and getting off my treadmill, I heard the girl behind me say to her friend on the treadmill next to her, "Wow, there have no cute guys today." Her friend replied, "None at all. It's like everyone suddenly got gay or ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 204

You deserved it 2 330

By shelbylove115 - 22/02/2013 05:35 - United States - Nevada City

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 580

You deserved it 35 095

By Anonymous - 04/07/2014 19:04 - Netherlands

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 854

You deserved it 3 420

By disfordiploma - 25/03/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 179

You deserved it 28 217

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 11:44 - United States

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 621

You deserved it 40 234

By DeepFriedLettuce - 29/04/2016 01:33 - United States - Vashon

Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 384

You deserved it 1 504

Covert failure

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 20:01

Today, I failed school and ghosted all my teachers. Nobody knows, but I'm planning on telling my parents in a week. I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 1 091

By happy birthday to me - 05/12/2013 05:14 - United States

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 678

You deserved it 3 109

By RabbitOwner - 07/01/2011 20:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing with my pet rabbit when my boyfriend discovered poop on his lap. As he brushed it off, I reminded him that there are a lot worse things in the world than rabbit poop. Almost as if on cue, my rabbit peed on both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 008

You deserved it 21 685

By ABBenzin - 01/02/2012 16:11 - United States

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 344

You deserved it 3 765

By Girl-of-very-little-brain - 29/12/2011 12:01 - Canada

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 187

You deserved it 4 955

By is_that_right - 27/12/2014 19:14 - United States - El Paso

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying "Hey there." She quickly replied, assuring me that she's not cheating on me. Uh, okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 830

You deserved it 2 930

By FLIPmcCOOL - 15/05/2014 22:57 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 042

You deserved it 60 230

By disasterbutton - 09/02/2010 00:28 - United States

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 714

You deserved it 2 993

By Anonymous - 28/02/2014 22:26 - Russian Federation - Korol

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 392

You deserved it 22 446

By DD - 08/02/2010 14:18 - France

Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 876

You deserved it 4 079

By Anonymous - 08/11/2014 17:24 - United States - Newtown

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 580

You deserved it 34 813

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I found out the reason my clothes have been smelling a little funny isn't because I sweat heavily, it's because of the dead rat in the back of my dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 862

You deserved it 5 349

By Anonymous - 13/11/2018 13:30

Today, a few months after my son lost a canine tooth, he went to get a replacement fitted. He came home with his other canine tooth removed and both replaced by vampire fangs. Permanent vampire fangs in his mouth, where people can see them and judge me for being a bad parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 828

You deserved it 634

By spinster - 16/09/2015 02:10 - United States - Lubbock

Today, as I was creeping on social media, I realized that literally everyone I've ever dated is either happily married, engaged, or in a relationship. My last date was at the beginning of the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 286

You deserved it 3 884

3spooky5me

By Anonymous - 10/09/2018 13:00

Today, I stayed the night at a friend's house for the first time. I went to get water from the kitchen when I saw a cat staring at me. I looked back and it ran off. I told my friend about it. He doesn’t have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 531

You deserved it 217

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 714

You deserved it 3 057

By RatCityChick - 27/06/2012 17:18 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 355

You deserved it 4 845

By Olive - 19/12/2008 04:11 - France

Today, and for the last two weeks I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 318

You deserved it 40 584

Medicare for all

By Chad - 06/09/2020 13:59 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I had to have emergency work done on my teeth after I seized in the shower and smashed my face into the tub. Apparently, the dental insurance I'd been paying for but had never used ended its coverage 4 days ago, because my job was no longer working with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 525

You deserved it 77

By BrittUnicorn - 06/07/2015 15:14 - United States - Morristown

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 571

You deserved it 3 658

What are you most angry about?

By Anonymous - 27/02/2021 14:01

Today, my husband got fired from his government-mandated "volunteer" work due to a sexual harassment complaint he filed. He's morbidly obese and still gets more attention in the years we've been together than my whole life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 160

By WishIWasADogMinder - 10/12/2015 10:47 - Australia

Today, while making less than minimum wage at McDonalds, I had to dispose of a grown man's soiled underwear that he left on the bathroom floor under a pile of toilet paper. It isn't even the grossest thing I've seen in my six months of employment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 810

You deserved it 2 510

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 14:45 - Norway

Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 871

You deserved it 7 509

By panicromanceX3 - 26/04/2009 08:44 - United States

Today, my friends and I spent hours on the Disney website playing in Pixie Hollow. We made our own fairies and flew around completing tasks for TinkerBell and her fairy friends. We're in college, and this is how we spent our Saturday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 836

You deserved it 63 341

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Top comments

redpump 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:04

always hold onto your stuff mate.

tpea 1

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:05

YDI, even if temporarily, take your belongings with you!

jameschis 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:04

first

BelleElle_fml 5

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:06

^^Why do some people never get it?

Ali_Br_fml 33

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:09

because they're retards. & Op, if you really wanted that laptop, you wouldn't have left it alone. ydi. sorry, you do! don't leave expensive stuff alone! they get stolen, or the bus pulls off.

zerobahamut03 2

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 20:54

What the eff OP! Go chase after the bus instead of posting this on fml. (Yes I know that the incident has passed)

redpump 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:04

always hold onto your stuff mate.

Ali_Br_fml 33

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:10

because they're retards. & Op, if you really wanted that laptop, you wouldn't have left it alone. ydi. sorry, you do! don't leave expensive stuff alone! they get stolen, or the bus pulls off.

ktbird 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 17:36

agreed... YDI.

ChrisSG 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 19:12

lol.. that's just plain silly.. OP

stephanie0613 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 20:56

YDI :)

hockeyplayer82 0

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Wednesday 20 October 2010 2:11

ma'am I am going to politely say that your a fucking retard

redpump 0

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Wednesday 20 October 2010 2:13

ooo she is in NSW. Damn, i could've scored a free laptop coz i usually take the bus too.

yucayucatan 0

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Wednesday 20 October 2010 10:31

it sucks, but you totally deserved it. ALWAYS keep your shit on you!

tpea 1

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:05

YDI, even if temporarily, take your belongings with you!

sweet_candy_ 17

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:07

Dang that sucks.

scarletscribblez 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 18:10

Your comments are so pointless... Sorry.. But try posting a comment that's worth space -.-

ChibiChibi_fml 27

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 19:01

Because your comment complaining about their comment was worth the space? I think not....

Anaxes 5

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 23:29

You're whining but then say sorry? Either be mad or shut the fuck up.

hockeyplayer82 0

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Wednesday 20 October 2010 6:29

she's a high school fresh man her entire life is a waste of space right now

sweet_candy_ 17

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Wednesday 20 October 2010 15:57

If you don't like my comments don't read them.

netherflame 0

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Wednesday 20 October 2010 21:44

Your comments happen to be blocking my eye-sight with their obesity. It's not as easy to ignore as 1 + 1 equals 2, you know...

DocBastard 38

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:07

That'll teach you to get off. Never get off. Wait, what?

sammywhits 0

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Wednesday 20 October 2010 8:11

haha I am confused

jake12221212121 4

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Sunday 2 September 2012 16:15

Then leave.

surferchick96 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:09

hahaha YDI ... xD

leogecko32 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:13

lol

hudson155 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:14

your rly dumb

ArtIsResistance7 1

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:18

I feel sorry for your parents.

h2opoloplaya 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 17:43

you are so dumb cuz obviously we have a rapist in lincon park

rallets 22

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 21:05

OP shouldve climbed in the window and snatched the laptop up, trying to rape em so ya'll need to hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husbands cause they rapin' errbody out here

rawrimapenguin 0

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Wednesday 20 October 2010 0:32

you dont have to come and confess, we lookin fo you, we gon find you. so you can run and tell that home boy.

lovelove24 1

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Wednesday 20 October 2010 1:58

we got yo t shirt you done left fingerprints and all you are so dumb. you are really dumb, for real

R2d6 0

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Wednesday 20 October 2010 5:38

RainbowxxVeinsx 17

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Wednesday 20 October 2010 6:24

And this is why I love FML, lol.

MAGNAVOX 0

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 16:15

I don't get it.

hairt 4

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Tuesday 19 October 2010 18:27

he got down the bus in consideration of other students shoving their way out of it. and as op was out the bus he left his laptop in there, thinking he would get in afterwards. but the bus drove off instead.