All the FMLs

By Anonymous - 04/09/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 870

You deserved it 16 278

By pencilring - 04/09/2010 14:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 737

You deserved it 14 347

By Username - 04/09/2010 13:24 - France

Today, my email got hacked and sent all my contacts something for Viagra. My husband thinks I really sent it to him on purpose and now won't even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 178

You deserved it 3 293

By Black Cat 13 - 04/09/2010 06:52 - United States

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 155

You deserved it 3 518

By anonymous - 04/09/2010 05:15 - United States

Today, I saw a car on the side on the highway with a popped tire. The driver didn't have a spare, so I nicely gave them mine. One hour later my tire popped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 860

You deserved it 8 080

By lalalasmiles06 - 04/09/2010 03:47

Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 983

You deserved it 7 266

By mandy16 - 04/09/2010 03:43

Today, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. The two male doctors told me they'd give me anesthesia, but when they did, I could still hear them. I heard them talking about my breasts and how flat they were for a 17 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 257

You deserved it 3 469

Gambling is harmful

By stink - 04/09/2010 00:11

Today, my roommate informed me that he took a bet to not shower or bathe until Christmas. The bet is for five bucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 431

You deserved it 2 761

By insomniac - 03/09/2010 23:02

Today, my sister is nursing an injured cat back to health in our home because she accidentally hit it with her car. Now I can't decide which is contributing more to my insomnia: the incessant meowing, or the constant itching because our house is infested with fleas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 490

You deserved it 3 484

By maimay234 - 03/09/2010 21:37 - United States

Today, I learned that if you don't wrap your hair around a bristled curling iron the correct way, you end up getting it stuck, not to mention frying it. Three inches of my hair is now in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 112

You deserved it 14 329

maimay234 tells us more.

maimay234 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 0:23

By the way, it was my first time using a bristled curling iron. I thought if you just rolled it up like a regular one, it would come right out. Looks like that didn't quite work out, judging from my hair cut. I thought I just unrolled it the wrong way so I spent 5 minutes trying to roll it out. Then I yanked the plug and started burning my fingers trying to get the hair out. Yes it smelled. Yes I know it was stupid of me to try it out hot the first time. But hey, we all have senior moments, right?

By Anonymous - 03/09/2010 21:00 - United States

Today, I got fired for taking time off to see my sister in the hospital after she got in a car accident. Before I got fired, I found out my boss took time off because her horoscope said she should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 678

You deserved it 2 670

By Anonymous - 03/09/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 580

You deserved it 40 219

By Fmylife.25 - 03/09/2010 19:56 - United States

Today, I got the haircut I've been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I'm scared to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 081

You deserved it 6 183

By lonleystoner91 - 03/09/2010 08:30 - France

Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 055

You deserved it 7 653

By Anonymous - 03/09/2010 06:18 - United States

Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 624

You deserved it 31 379

Yes we can

By AnnaWusHere - 03/09/2010 06:18 - United States

Today, my 72 year-old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with homemade signs all day, campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me to ask if she was high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 209

You deserved it 4 016

By Devon - 03/09/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 083

You deserved it 5 049

By ohseven6421 - 03/09/2010 04:13 - United States

Today, I decided to drive my mothers Bentley. She is out of town and told me not to go near the car. Being 17, I didn't listen. As I was backing out the driveway, I was hit by an SUV, seriously damaging my moms car. Who was driving the SUV? My mom, coming home early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 104

You deserved it 79 074

By Anonymous - 03/09/2010 00:52 - Australia

Today, I found out that one of my best mates had his backpack, clothes, and everything else in it stolen at an airport overseas. I was feeling sorry for him all day. It took me 9 hours to remember that I actually loaned him my backpack for his trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 932

You deserved it 7 317

Thanks, I hate it

By nakedyogagirl - 03/09/2010 00:16 - United Kingdom

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 093

You deserved it 39 715

Keep schtum

By confused - 02/09/2010 21:09 - Canada

Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 666

You deserved it 3 573

By whatthewoah - 02/09/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 154

You deserved it 2 237

By flimflam - 02/09/2010 17:39 - United States

Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 781

You deserved it 3 866

By Sickie. - 02/09/2010 16:03 - United States

Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 305

You deserved it 60 007

By hatesgravity - 02/09/2010 11:40 - United States

Today, after finally getting up the nerve to take my motorcycle to up 75 mph on the freeway, I made it off in one piece, only to fall off my bike in the mall parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 937

You deserved it 25 625

Double down

By coyote - 02/09/2010 07:25 - Japan

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 061

You deserved it 2 811

By Giulii - 02/09/2010 05:54 - United States

Today, I got grounded because I have a picture on facebook in which I'm touching the crotch of a cardboard cut-out of Obama. My parents insist the FBI will see that and I'll end up in jail. My parents are crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 061

You deserved it 16 476

Giulii tells us more.

Giulii 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 13:41

I'm the OP. I have a teacher that definitely HATES Obama because she's more than sure that he's a muslim (ignorant, much?) and that's why me and my friends took the picture in the first place. Btw I'm sixteen and a girl, I know it was something dumb to do, but still my parents had no right to ground me based on how I 'misuse Facebook' .-.