Health: Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML - FML

By Maddie

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

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Rock, hard place

The smell detective is on the case

Overbearing much?

By blank - United States

Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

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By Jammy238 - France

Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML

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By Ashes to ashes - 16/10/2020 05:01

Oh, hi grandma!

Today, I woke up to what seemed like dirt on my face. Not dirt. It was cremated remains. My memory charm had broken open in my sleep. FML

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By turtle - United States

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Woodland Hills

Today, after learning that my wife has been cheating on me, I decided to distract myself by playing The Sims. Not long after I began, my Sim's wife basically started cheating on him. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, a guy at work was ranking the girls we work with in the order he'd want to date them. He told me I was 6th "because personality is important, too." FML

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By ZittyMii - United States

Today, a friend of mine had a Wii party and made everyone into Miis. My Mii had freckles. I don't have freckles. When I commented on it, she said, "Well, there isn't a zit feature." FML

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By Oops - Australia

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

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By Anonymous - Germany

Today, my boyfriend told me that if he was to break up with me, he would do it in a crowded location so I couldn't start to cry or make a scene. FML

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By ManinBlack - Canada

Today, after months of looking forward to my new fencing lessons and speculating endlessly about the people who might be in my class, I went to my first lesson. I was the only one who showed up. FML

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By bruisedego31 - United States - Chicago Heights

Today, I found out there's a rumor going around that my smoking hot co-worker and I had sex over the weekend. I'm not nearly as pissed off about the rumor as I am by the fact that I can't remember it because I was too drunk. FML

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By elmoisdead2131 - 9/2/2021 14:01

Hey, well, happy birthday anyway

Today, my parents took me out to dinner. I thought they were taking me because it's my birthday. Turns out they are getting divorced. They forgot it was my birthday. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

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By Anonymous - 26/8/2020 14:01 - United States

Invasion

Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML

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By gingerbetty - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. I've been secretly taking Welsh lessons as a surprise for him, so when I was getting close, I whispered the Welsh for "Don't stop." He pulled out and accused me of cheating on him with his best friend. He won't believe anything else. FML

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By ANON - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, one of my ears randomly went deaf. I went to the doctor, thinking I had an ear infection or something. Turns out that your ears can go deaf entirely without reason, and I now have medication to take to see if I can get any of my hearing back in that ear. I'm only 26. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Redding

Today, 9 years on, my dad still hates my husband for "ruining" my life by getting me pregnant in my late 20s. FML

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By robotchickens - United States

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

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By RS - United States - Delray Beach

Today, I tried a new hairstyle to impress a guy I like. I was pretty confident, until he took one look at me and said, "Uh... why's there an onion on your head?" So much for that. FML

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By kylinsmama - United States

Mixed signals

Today, I got in trouble with my doctor for eating too soon after surgery. Why was I eating? Because the nurses brought me food, which apparently I should've known not to eat. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed a disgusting odor that seemed to be radiating off my brother. When I asked him about it, he replied, "I think it's ball sweat. I haven't had a shower in a few weeks, so it's hard to tell." FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I just got back from a party, where I spent most of the night comforting the girl I like. Why? Because the guy she likes was being grinded on by another girl. FML

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By rainastartree - United States - Crum Lynne

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

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By Kevin - United Kingdom

Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Doncaster East

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

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By whooops - United States

Today, after having a few beers at a bar, I gave my ticket to the valet to get my car. I tipped the man $2 and he gave me a huge smile and thanked me a lot as I left. I thought the guy was just really appreciative for those $2 until I got home and saw one of the $100 bills in my wallet was gone. FML

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By Dale - Costa Rica

Today, I got to Costa Rica for my first vacation in five years. I immediately rented a scooter for the week after checking into my prepaid, no refunds, hotel. On the way back from the rental agency I hit a pothole and broke my leg and ripped the skin off my foot. I'm flying home tomorrow. FML

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By serverdessert - United States

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

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By computerguy - Canada

Today, I took the motherboard out of my computer so I could put more RAM and a new video card in. While I was in the bathroom my mom threw it all out because it 'looked like garbage'. FML

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By disasterbutton - United States

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

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By eagerbeaver - United States

Today, I figured out that a $40 phone case does not protect your $500 phone from a five year old throwing it off a fourth story balcony. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

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By Down - United States

Today, my ex told me he broke up with me because he loved me, and that he was afraid of the commitment. He's living with his new girlfriend now. FML

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By nekoneko - United States

Today, I found out my mom pretended to be me and had AIM conversations with my boyfriend. FML

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By Anonymous - Germany - Nuremberg

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

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By hannax - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML

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By lacie - 8/4/2021 21:30

Health hazard

Today, multiple customers have complained about my body odor. Not only can I not smell anything, but I shower three times a day and brush my teeth seven times a day. FML

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By wtfseriously - United States

Today, my mom and I had an argument about my laziness. We did this as I was eating uncooked rice because I didn't want to have to walk to the kitchen and put it into the microwave. FML

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Top comments

By natvv | 0

#2224121 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:52

Don't lie, you enjoyed it.

By ROFLBERRYPIE | 0

#2224250 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:10

As a box my one purpose in life is to be a place to put things. Well today I received my mission.... a gift? sexy undies? No. Someone took dump in me. FML.

COMMENTS

By natvv | 0

#2224121 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:52

Don't lie, you enjoyed it.

Reply

queefhunter | 0

#2224130 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:54

delish

Reply

rallets | 22

#2224288 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:19

sounds shitty

Reply

kruzito | 0

#2224296 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:21

this has to be the worst FML yet!

Reply

7mood75 | 7

#2224309 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:22

do you have worms in your stomach?

Reply

iTaylor | 0

#2224365 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:30

say hello to your future... as a hobo

Reply

TheCoNofGamer | 1

#2224371 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:32

I do it all the time.

Reply

TheCoNofGamer | 1

#2224376 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:32

I do it all the time.

Reply

playboyintown | 4

#2224390 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:34

You don't have a restroom at home? oh wait are you a hobo? have you not seen public toliets ?

Reply

NuyoRicanGirl | 3

#2224424 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:41

real good fml would be if you got shit all over your. hands =p

Reply

Eff_The_Blogs | 0

#2224563 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 20:01

how would they be able to write this FML is they were a hobo?

Reply

playboyintown | 4

#2224589 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 20:07

wait a minute ! How does this FML anyhow relate to a hobo?

Reply

sterlingarcher | 1

#2224593 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 20:07

aww that sucks!

Reply

sterlingarcher | 1

#2224602 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 20:09

51...what is your user name for FFM? I'm on my phone again...and seriously what does this have to do with hobos??

Reply

playboyintown | 4

#2224669 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 20:25

it's jast ( sorry for being off topic)

Reply

nriney | 0

#2224868 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 21:01

is it weird that I read this while taking a poo

Reply

NuyoRicanGirl | 3

#2224894 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 21:07

#80 the best time to read FMLs it's while taking a dump LOL jk =p

Reply

playboyintown | 4

#2224905 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 21:09

82 that's absolutely true ! i do that every day :))

Reply

animosiity | 0

#2225009 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 21:31

if your being serious about this...u missed the test part of the FML

Reply

Mesocoollike | 8

#2225104 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 21:51

27- I see what you did there!

Reply

playboyintown | 4

#2225115 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 21:52

who are you addressing ^^

Reply

justalilrandom2 | 4

#2225191 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 22:10

Clearly number 27...

Reply

anonymous595 | 0

#2225206 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 22:13

wouldn u haha

Reply

playboyintown | 4

#2225409 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 22:41

it was for 92 , he came between while i was typing

Reply

yohooooooo | 5

#2225648 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 23:32

#80 that's when I read fml's hahaha

Reply

KaySL | 24

#2225705 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 23:45

Bow chika bow-wow.

Reply

Jvr91 | 8

#2225745 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 23:53

win comment ^ weird fml

Reply

sumguyonFML | 0

#2227127 - Wednesday 23 March 2011 3:23

108 - thats what she said.

Reply

MrBrick | 0

#2228156 - Wednesday 23 March 2011 6:41

lol ^ btw how is dumping in a box f their life? mods these days...

Reply

SassiestLemon | 2

#2233038 - Thursday 24 March 2011 3:20

118- Best Red vs Blue reference ever.

Go Caboose! Go Tucker!

Reply

97currie | 0

#3118960 - Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:46

Justin Timberlake-
"It's my dump in a box!"

By picklezz123 | 5

#2224126 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:53

so? a Lot of ppl do it..

Reply

sterlingarcher | 1

#2224616 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 20:15

lol I'm lovin the pic! haha

Reply

KingDingALing | 9

#2224712 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 20:33

Yes, but they don't shit in a box.

What did you wipe your ass with, OP? Cardboard?

Reply

tulsafml | 0

#2225032 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 21:35

I shit outside.

Reply

tulsafmlya | 0

#2225696 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 23:42

Hey hey! new improved account!

Reply

mousepad41 | 0

#2227708 - Wednesday 23 March 2011 4:58

like

Reply

raaaandi18 | 3

#2228383 - Wednesday 23 March 2011 8:00

well thanks for the heads up.

Reply

mamamiaaa_fml | 12

#2228405 - Wednesday 23 March 2011 8:14

unless you're spongebob FYL.

Reply

_xoxomaddie__ | 2

#5854374 - Tuesday 11 February 2014 0:23

alot of people also know how to spell

By Squeaknique | 2

#2224128 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:53

Could've been worse...Could have had to take the dump in your hand?

Reply

justalilrandom2 | 4

#2225507 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 23:00

Could have been even worse, it could have been for a school test, that would really
suck.

Reply

MushyLuvsU | 0

#2231392 - Wednesday 23 March 2011 22:52

Could've been worse... You could have the lame-ass shitty job of checking the crap for the test....

By Happygofucky | 0

#2224133 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:54

Did you miss the box or something?

Reply

jaceved2 | 0

#2224431 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:41

ha lmao

Reply

mendozaale | 0

#2224498 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:50

hahah even more shameful than shittin in a box already

Reply

IIRoxieII | 12

#2227523 - Wednesday 23 March 2011 4:26

lol!

Reply

omgmorganomg | 0

#2237706 - Friday 25 March 2011 3:49

did anyone else misread this as "school test"?

Reply

liljensen | 0

#2244733 - Saturday 26 March 2011 16:05

ya I
did twice ha ha ha I
could pass that test...

By MyMuse7 | 0

#2224137 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:55

so? a box, a toilet? homeless people do it all the time.

By YoureMe | 0

#2224142 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:55

what the crap..

By jewels1877 | 0

#2224153 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:57

Did you wrap it up and tell them Merry Christmas?

Reply

karebear038 | 0

#2224200 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:04

Haha, nice.

By sweet_candy_ | 17

#2224161 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:58

Hahaha that is very weird.

Reply

persianjr1 | 7

#2225637 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 23:22

yes.....yes it is

Reply

superman22569 | 0

#2232588 - Thursday 24 March 2011 1:45

mmmm

By SuperNova69 | 0

#2224175 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:00

Well when u gotta go u gotta go haha

By enonymous | 8

#2224190 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:03

Don't lie you were proud of that dump. probably took a few photos and even tagged it on facebook