Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML - FML

By Maddie - 22/3/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

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Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

Trust

Basic Instinct

By Jaybird1587 - 3/8/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, I was just about to get in the shower, when I heard a loud crunch. I thought to myself, boy the neighbours next door must be doing some heavy construction. Two seconds after that thought, my brother knocked on the door to inform me that the neighbours tree had just fallen on my car. FML

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By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

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By skinnyguy23 - 10/9/2014 22:40 - United States - Briarcliff Manor

Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/5/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, I met this really nice guy at the mall and he gave me his number. Later that night, I texted him. We got on the subject of food, and I started talking about how much I love veal. He responded with saying I was supporting animal murder, that I should go to hell and lose his number. FML

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By theDiva - 21/1/2009 11:22 - Malta

Today, I am down to 3 euros. My mother just stole the last two euros from me. I asked what she needed them for? Condoms. My mother can have safe sex. I can't buy lunch tomorrow. FML

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By Tiffer27 - 25/1/2016 18:02 - United States

Today, I went to a very important job interview. I was so nervous that I passed out right in front of the interviewer's desk. FML

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By defrauded - 8/3/2013 18:44 - United Kingdom - Oban

Today, I bought a textbook for my college class. Not only is the £150 book only sold by our teacher, it turned out to be a piece of shit that he obviously wrote, printed, and stapled together at home. When I went to the faculty about it, I was told it's all perfectly legal, and to drop it. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/10/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

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By :| - 26/9/2015 04:10 - New Zealand - Nelson

Today, my 6-year-old daughter touched a tray I'd just pulled out of the oven. I quickly swatted her hand away, but then noticed she wasn't hurt or burned at all. I then gingerly touched the tray and got scalded. My daughter giggled maniacally as I screamed. To be honest, I'm now terrified of her. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/1/2020 01:00 - Sweden - ?ngelholm

One night

Today, I woke up from putting my child to bed. Drowsy, I stumbled down to the kitchen to make a mug cookie. I read a recipe on my phone, and put a knob of butter in a cup to melt in the microwave. I put my phone in the microwave and turned it on for 30 seconds, and didn't realize until I smelt burning plastic.. FML

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By coolhand - 29/8/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

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By tftm - 5/1/2013 05:37 - United States - Elmhurst

Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML

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By burn - 1/8/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 14:00 - Malaysia

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

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By brit - 13/10/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, the student council gave us our senior class t-shirts. Our theme this year is "Striving for Excellence." Excellence was misspelled. FML

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By fml - 20/5/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

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By DeepCleanAcne - 2/9/2017 20:00

Today, I found out that my intense acne is actually an allergic reaction to the "deep clean" product I've been using to reduce it. I've been using this product for the past ten years. Ten years of suffering through "acne" could have been easily avoided. FML

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By BreakingTheMood - 13/11/2013 18:08 - Finland - Vanda

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/6/2014 08:24 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML

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By tenniemo - 10/8/2019 14:00

Today, I caught one of my students checking out my butt while I was helping another student at his table. I teach 8th grade. FML

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By stolen-car - 26/6/2012 02:55 - United States - Columbia

Today, I finally got enough money to buy the car I wanted for a year now. It was stolen today too. I had my car for 4 hours. FML

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By rattrap - 6/2/2012 01:13 - United States

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

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By Quiteannoyed - 9/3/2013 10:35 - Finland - M?nts?l

Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML

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By heyyoitsapotato - 31/5/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

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By mosaicevolution - 3/1/2015 04:04 - United States - Decatur

Today, after finishing my second glass of wine, I walked out of the bathroom and saw the tag on my hair dryer from last year's rehab visit. FML

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By embarassed - 25/5/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, my mother came up to me at swim meet and shouted to me in the bleachers "If you have to go potty, go now because there is a long line!". I'm seventeen. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/5/2013 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

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By optimistic2628 - 19/10/2011 14:03 - United States

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/5/2019 20:25

Today, it appears that I spent three years of my life studying for a degree to find myself driving around looking for potholes. That's literally my job. I didn't even study roading, my civil engineering degree is in designing structures. FML

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By quit fucking up my life - 23/11/2013 01:08 - United States - Kenai

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

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By paranoid - 6/6/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

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By unfortunate419 - 17/2/2010 07:30 - United States

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

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By climber - 21/4/2017 20:00

Today, after climbing 8 flight of stairs due to electricity outage, I got to work only to find the office locked. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/9/2014 05:04 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, a customer told me that there was no way he was paying for his shopping. He then walked off. As it turns out, the customer IS always right. FML

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By BrokenPoke - 9/1/2018 09:00 - United States - Elkhart

PokeCrash

Today, my wife screamed to stop the car in an intersection, so I slammed on the brakes. From the left, an SUV rammed full force into us. My wife is unharmed, but I now have a broken left arm and our car is totaled. On the bright side, she caught the Pokémon in the road. FML

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By TrainedBF - 12/9/2009 12:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied "They worked on you." FML

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By makeitstop - 2/12/2009 07:14 - Canada

Today, at work, I was forced to listen to the Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers Christmas album on repeat for 8 hours. FML

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By Awkward - 1/2/2013 22:53 - United Kingdom - Wolverhampton

Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML

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By nolove - 4/5/2009 02:12 - Canada

Today, before going to bed my phone lit up and I got all excited because I thought it was a text message. My phone was finished charging. FML

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By nakedyogagirl - 3/9/2010 00:16 - United Kingdom

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML

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Top comments

By natvv | 0

#2224121 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:52

Don't lie, you enjoyed it.

By ROFLBERRYPIE | 0

#2224250 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:10

As a box my one purpose in life is to be a place to put things. Well today I received my mission.... a gift? sexy undies? No. Someone took dump in me. FML.

COMMENTS

By natvv | 0

#2224121 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:52

Don't lie, you enjoyed it.

Reply

queefhunter | 0

#2224130 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:54

delish

Reply

rallets | 22

#2224288 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:19

sounds shitty

Reply

kruzito | 0

#2224296 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:21

this has to be the worst FML yet!

Reply

7mood75 | 7

#2224309 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:22

do you have worms in your stomach?

Reply

iTaylor | 0

#2224365 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:30

say hello to your future... as a hobo

Reply

TheCoNofGamer | 1

#2224371 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:32

I do it all the time.

Reply

TheCoNofGamer | 1

#2224376 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:32

I do it all the time.

Reply

playboyintown | 4

#2224390 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:34

You don't have a restroom at home? oh wait are you a hobo? have you not seen public toliets ?

Reply

NuyoRicanGirl | 3

#2224424 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:41

real good fml would be if you got shit all over your. hands =p

Reply

Eff_The_Blogs | 0

#2224563 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 20:01

how would they be able to write this FML is they were a hobo?

Reply

playboyintown | 4

#2224589 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 20:07

wait a minute ! How does this FML anyhow relate to a hobo?

Reply

sterlingarcher | 1

#2224593 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 20:07

aww that sucks!

Reply

sterlingarcher | 1

#2224602 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 20:09

51...what is your user name for FFM? I'm on my phone again...and seriously what does this have to do with hobos??

Reply

playboyintown | 4

#2224669 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 20:25

it's jast ( sorry for being off topic)

Reply

nriney | 0

#2224868 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 21:01

is it weird that I read this while taking a poo

Reply

NuyoRicanGirl | 3

#2224894 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 21:07

#80 the best time to read FMLs it's while taking a dump LOL jk =p

Reply

playboyintown | 4

#2224905 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 21:09

82 that's absolutely true ! i do that every day :))

Reply

animosiity | 0

#2225009 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 21:31

if your being serious about this...u missed the test part of the FML

Reply

Mesocoollike | 8

#2225104 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 21:51

27- I see what you did there!

Reply

playboyintown | 4

#2225115 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 21:52

who are you addressing ^^

Reply

justalilrandom2 | 4

#2225191 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 22:10

Clearly number 27...

Reply

anonymous595 | 0

#2225206 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 22:13

wouldn u haha

Reply

playboyintown | 4

#2225409 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 22:41

it was for 92 , he came between while i was typing

Reply

yohooooooo | 5

#2225648 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 23:32

#80 that's when I read fml's hahaha

Reply

KaySL | 24

#2225705 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 23:45

Bow chika bow-wow.

Reply

Jvr91 | 8

#2225745 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 23:53

win comment ^ weird fml

Reply

sumguyonFML | 0

#2227127 - Wednesday 23 March 2011 3:23

108 - thats what she said.

Reply

MrBrick | 0

#2228156 - Wednesday 23 March 2011 6:41

lol ^ btw how is dumping in a box f their life? mods these days...

Reply

SassiestLemon | 2

#2233038 - Thursday 24 March 2011 3:20

118- Best Red vs Blue reference ever.

Go Caboose! Go Tucker!

Reply

97currie | 0

#3118960 - Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:46

Justin Timberlake-
"It's my dump in a box!"

By picklezz123 | 5

#2224126 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:53

so? a Lot of ppl do it..

Reply

sterlingarcher | 1

#2224616 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 20:15

lol I'm lovin the pic! haha

Reply

KingDingALing | 9

#2224712 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 20:33

Yes, but they don't shit in a box.

What did you wipe your ass with, OP? Cardboard?

Reply

tulsafml | 0

#2225032 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 21:35

I shit outside.

Reply

tulsafmlya | 0

#2225696 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 23:42

Hey hey! new improved account!

Reply

mousepad41 | 0

#2227708 - Wednesday 23 March 2011 4:58

like

Reply

raaaandi18 | 3

#2228383 - Wednesday 23 March 2011 8:00

well thanks for the heads up.

Reply

mamamiaaa_fml | 12

#2228405 - Wednesday 23 March 2011 8:14

unless you're spongebob FYL.

Reply

_xoxomaddie__ | 2

#5854374 - Tuesday 11 February 2014 0:23

alot of people also know how to spell

By Squeaknique | 2

#2224128 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:53

Could've been worse...Could have had to take the dump in your hand?

Reply

justalilrandom2 | 4

#2225507 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 23:00

Could have been even worse, it could have been for a school test, that would really
suck.

Reply

MushyLuvsU | 0

#2231392 - Wednesday 23 March 2011 22:52

Could've been worse... You could have the lame-ass shitty job of checking the crap for the test....

By Happygofucky | 0

#2224133 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:54

Did you miss the box or something?

Reply

jaceved2 | 0

#2224431 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:41

ha lmao

Reply

mendozaale | 0

#2224498 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:50

hahah even more shameful than shittin in a box already

Reply

IIRoxieII | 12

#2227523 - Wednesday 23 March 2011 4:26

lol!

Reply

omgmorganomg | 0

#2237706 - Friday 25 March 2011 3:49

did anyone else misread this as "school test"?

Reply

liljensen | 0

#2244733 - Saturday 26 March 2011 16:05

ya I
did twice ha ha ha I
could pass that test...

By MyMuse7 | 0

#2224137 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:55

so? a box, a toilet? homeless people do it all the time.

By YoureMe | 0

#2224142 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:55

what the crap..

By jewels1877 | 0

#2224153 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:57

Did you wrap it up and tell them Merry Christmas?

Reply

karebear038 | 0

#2224200 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:04

Haha, nice.

By sweet_candy_ | 17

#2224161 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:58

Hahaha that is very weird.

Reply

persianjr1 | 7

#2225637 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 23:22

yes.....yes it is

Reply

superman22569 | 0

#2232588 - Thursday 24 March 2011 1:45

mmmm

By SuperNova69 | 0

#2224175 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:00

Well when u gotta go u gotta go haha

By enonymous | 8

#2224190 - Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:03

Don't lie you were proud of that dump. probably took a few photos and even tagged it on facebook