Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having, I shot at him with the sniper gun I'd bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was OK. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
Today, I went shooting with my dad and he brought his grandfather's rifle with him. I’ve never shot it before and he told me to be careful with it. The bullet exploded, ruptured the barrel, cut my face, and made me deaf in one ear. Dad still blamed me for “not shooting it properly.” FML
Today, while on the roof of my friend's house, I took a shortcut down by jumping onto the roof of his nearby shed. Not only did I go right through it and hurt my arm, I've also received several calls from my friend's dad, demanding I pay for the damage. FML
Today, I was showing my friend's dad an airsoft gun I was hoping he would be interested in buying. It's a pistol worth about 90 bucks. In the midst of showing him, I thought it would be funny to do a fake, upwards "pistol whip". The mag ended up flying out full speed and hitting him in the eye. FML
Today, my dad decided to test if Nerf guns actually hurt by sneaking up on me and shooting me with one. He missed; however, when he shot at me again, he hit my cat on my lap, causing my poor cat to run away. After desperately trying to apologize to my cat, he then shot at me a THIRD time, nailing me in the balls. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
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Top comments
hobozrule 4
y would u shoot him while he was on the roof
BoldfaceMatteo 0
what is a sniper gun you mean sniper rifle and you are just retarded to shoot anyone on a roof
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Comments (210)
TheDrifter 24
Obviously target acquisition isn't your specialty. I hope your inner Ninja is strong or you're about to get a whooping.
firegecko123 0
^win.
rallets 23
did he at least have lightweight pro?
cfalen 0
I don't think he used a varible zoom either... must of used acog
queefhunter 0
Marathon perk would be more helpful.
BoldfaceMatteo 0
? I don't speak marsian
rallets 23
for no fall damage? i get the 2 mixed up
cfalen 0
you had it right
YourMomsFml 0
he probably used steady aim
thesinginguy 18
what the **** is with all this army talk shit?!
rallets 23
then why am i getting thumbs down?
Jvr91 8
he has no inner ninja if he can't tell people apart.
crazycry 0
#60 it's gamer speak. i'd interpret but i only speak a little gamer and it's mmorpg dialect. they are speaking shooter dialect.
Juliaa15 6
CALL OF DUTY. BONERIFIC. uhm, just sayin....
Juliaa15 6
CALL OF DUTY. BONERIFIC. uhm, just sayin....
snickardoodlez 0
lol it's comando pro guys
rallets 23
^ holy shit, can it be?...is it?...nahhhh, cant be....right? i know its not commando pro tho lol
Kenik 6
I just want to know if he had Second Chance Pro because then the guy could nail him when he runs away because he thought he killed him!
biggmike 6
no it is commando pro. after the second level up for commando it's commando pro. I never used lightweight but I never had fall damage with commando pro.
cfalen 0
he coulda spawn tomahawked him :p
Jackmangold 0
60 and 38, that's actually the American dialect of english
lukehappygilmore 4
it's gamer talk. it's Call of Duty. it's Commando Pro for Modern Warfare 2. it's Lightweight Pro for Black Ops. Anyways, that is freaking amazing, lol that's a fail/win. either way it's EPIC
maa_rico 4
Roof dude ghost pro?
Kenik 6
COD Black COps!? Clearly there are no Black COps in this game!!! XP
valri3 0
Clearly if he got the nuke, none of this would have happened.
rallets 23
KABOOM!!!
do20ss 4
clear case of playing on hardcore, he shot his teammate at the objective which was on the roof, he was planting the bomb, if it woulda hit him and he stayed on the roof, it woulda been core not hardcore, lol COLTS
Mehness 0
**** this shit, I'm sticking to juggernaut.
mamamiaaa_fml 12
OP - steady aim guy who fell off roof -commando perk. foo.
llamagangster 0
**** black ops, Its all about pillowfights, girlscout cookies and nintendo 64
mamamiaaa_fml 12
^only if you can do all 3 at the same time. (MW2 > black ops)
llamagangster 0
True dat.
GRyphonLJJ 0
Win!
6joe9 0
he used a zeus cannon
seanders 10
MW2> Black OPs.
Tittyabuse 0
this is easy as protien stains, nova gassed and was disoriented :D
carcinogan 0
Sleight of Hand yo!!! marathon, hacker, ghost, and omg especially commando!!! BEAST!!! CoD4>MW2>Black Ops.
Jvr91 8
life>mw2>black ops
Guitar360 4
Dude you need warlord pro so you can have good sights and a silencer, that way even if you screw up he won't know where you are lol
hobozrule 4
y would u shoot him while he was on the roof
hobozrule 4
y would u shoot him while he was on the roof
AwesumIndianGurl 0
Why wouldn't you? All's fair in love & war.
mendozaale 0
exactly #4 said it perfectly :)
tulsafml 0
he was probably a Mexican.
Katie_the_Great 6
ouch, I'm sure that hurts
fl0ffy 0
no dip it hurts I shot myself with a paint ball in my foot not on purpose it hurt ALOT I think u should get some glasses
forthepainx3 0
it's an airsoft gun. not paintball gun.
facilitator 0
ya, airsoft pellets lose speed almost as soon as they exit the barrel. to balance that out manufacturers can make it leave the barrel however fast they want it. paintball is set 280-300 fps
valri3 0
Too much call of duty....
minktheshrink 0
hey genius, any projectile loses speed as it flies through the air. it's called drag for a reason.
Katie_the_Great 6
86, no dip?? really? Good one
WallyTheWombat 0
129, he meant they lose significant speed. Most airsoft guns put a spin on the pellet to keep it in the air longer. I've got a pretty beast airsoft sniper that can accurately hit a can from about 40 ft away. My brother shot me point blank with it and it left a blood welt.
llamagangster 0
Dude, you aren't going to shoot shit with a made in China 400 feet/second 12 gram pieces of plastic. You probably got lucky.
fl0ffy 0
it was a paintball gun but it was like a foot away from my foot lol and it did hurt
ButlerOfChaos 7
Imagine from the same distance, but in the head, near the eye.
AwesumIndianGurl 0
Lmao, Next time, check & make sure before you shoot OP! Looks like you've just started another airsoft war thenn Haha, Better luck with this one!
AwesumIndianGurl 0
& before anyone shouts at me..I'm just kidding ^ yeh, shootin at someone on the roof was a pretty dumb idea.. :L sorry OP!
AwesumIndianGurl 0
#15 Haha, Why, Thank you very muchh Glad you agree
ydi_4_suking 20
did you just have a conversation with yourself?
Anteezy 7
That would be me, sorry guys my bad! Come on sillyindiangirl back to your cell.
AwesumIndianGurl 0
#15 Haha, Why, Thank you very muchh Glad you agree
playboyintown 4
maybe she was trying to fill it up with humor? so c'mon man don't be that harsh.
MissEmma_fml 22
Guys.. She was just making a joke.. She's kinda blonde xD But seriously get lost that's my friend /: Be nice..
rallets 23
she was hogging up all my space so i let her out
cfalen 0
#69 kinda hard to take that serious with your post number :p
MissEmma_fml 22
Kinda hard to take you seriously when you have the mentality of a 12 year old.
BoldfaceMatteo 0
what is a sniper gun you mean sniper rifle and you are just retarded to shoot anyone on a roof
playboyintown 4
true that!
mrs_mac07 0
for sure a sniper rifle not gun. I hate when people say gun. its a weapon!! marines suck btw. GO ARMY!!
zoosteful 0
uhh, srry to burst ur little bubble #119, but army, navy, marines, air force and basically any type of force fighting for their country are the best. they are fighting for ur freedom (US's case), and just fighting for their country and the ppl of it. there is no "best"............
zoosteful 0
i meant no force that "sucks"... srry :/
FFAffliction 0
127 = awesome! you can be anti-war, but do not disrespect the men fighting for your freedom.
Prankster7o7 5
Marines suck? I dare you to go up to a US Marine and say that, retired or not. Those men have given their time and sacrificed for you to have the right to say stuff like that, same goes for EVERY branch of the military, I'm thinking you were joking but that's really not something to joke about, it's disrespectful.
Zero221 0
I agree with you 100% on the gun thing, and the fact that this guys a retard.
TheNewGuy03 29
119, i can tell just by reading your post that you are either current or former army. i agree with #5 -- it's a sniper rifle, but the army way of demanding that you say "weapon" instead of "gun" or "rifle" is all semantics. it's ostentatious at best; really, *anything* can be a weapon. but...from an army vet to another...hi! :D |the kid|
mrs_mac07 0
you freakin idiots if you would look at my picture you would see that we are an army family! duh! of course I support our military. it was a joke. every branch jokes around with other branches saying they better. open your eyes before you speak.
mrs_mac07 0
thank you 160 for looking into the situation before speaking.
Tittyabuse 0
^ doucher
FFAffliction 0
I realized you were joking around 119, I was just saying that before any arrogant asshole posted something disrespecting veterans or any current members of the armed forces.
BoldfaceMatteo 0
all in know is marine snipers are the best snipers
chipmunkman 5
119: you're still an idiot
ZoZo17_fml 0
That's why you don't snipe someone unless you truely know who it is. Then it's ok.
KMilliron 2
Is the OP related to Dick Cheny in any way? That was my first question.
darkmatter78 0
regardless of who it was you shouldnt be shooting someone who is up on the roof. FYL for being so stupid.
variable66 0
One shot one felony nice job
arttyruiz 7
nice, jail time will do you great!
j_cat187 20
300 win mag > airsoft use a real sniper rifle
playboyintown 4
I bet he whooped your ass later. A punishment YDI
xbella 8
Bogus!