Love: Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to... - FML

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 206

You deserved it 4 564

Late term

BO Central

So no one told you life was gonna be this way

Extreme shot reaction

By Exhausted - 14/06/2021 05:31 - India - Chennai

Today, a day after my mom and I got the vaccine, we've been doing everything around the house with one hand each through the pain. My dad hasn't helped out at all despite my requests, and sees nothing wrong with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 243

By anonymous - 18/06/2009 14:04 - Norway

Today, I saw my crush walking on the other side of the street. She hadn't noticed me, so when she did I nonchalantly looked over and casually waved to look cool. I then walked right into a lamp post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 557

You deserved it 38 092

Fight!

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 06:00

Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 352

You deserved it 171

By IMSERIOUS - 22/01/2014 19:23 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 927

You deserved it 5 789

By Bella - 15/01/2013 18:57 - United States - Sanford

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 071

You deserved it 7 819

By Levi2411 - 21/11/2018 17:30

Today, I jokingly told my mother to "go fall down a hole" during a mock argument we always have. Not even 10 minutes later, our basement stairs gave out. When I said that, I didn't want her to break both her arms or to actually fall into a gaping hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 761

You deserved it 437

By whykarma - 26/03/2013 21:17 - United States - Waxhaw

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 854

You deserved it 3 487

By music man - 25/02/2012 00:50 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 054

You deserved it 3 829

By dickbag - 25/11/2015 05:23 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, my mom hates my grandmother (her mother-in-law) so much that she's trying to guilt me into not visiting her when I come home for Thanksgiving. I wouldn't be coming home for Thanksgiving in the first place, but my grandmother bought me the plane ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 372

You deserved it 1 423

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 17:41 - United States

Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said "nah, it's just a generic face". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 348

You deserved it 10 712

Circular

By Mario Hugo - 05/07/2021 20:00

Today, I was tested positive for Covid-19, after suffering with some of the symptoms of the disease two days ago. Last week, I had to pretend I was infected with it to avoid going to a friend's party, as my ex-girlfriend would be there. Ain't life a bitch? FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 1 287

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:13 - United States

Today, after some filing mistakes, and a lot of waiting on hold, I'm finally registered for Spring classes. I was ready to enjoy this term, until I found out that my ex, who was forced into therapy after he threatened to kill me, is in half of my classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 544

You deserved it 2 741

By Anonymous - 03/07/2013 00:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 228

You deserved it 2 926

By Lala - 10/09/2009 13:40 - Philippines

Today, I was sitting in my garden and having a cup of tea while watching some dragonflies. I thought the dragonflies were really pretty, so I ran towards them and tried to catch their tails like I used to when I was a kid. They were exotic wasps. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 317

You deserved it 50 134

By lifestinks - 23/08/2009 03:29 - United States

Today, my work finally hired someone to replace some leaky pipes at work. I work in the basement by myself, and just as I walk under the newly fixed pipes, I get soaked with water. Apparently it was connected to a toilet. My boss couldn't find a replacement so they made me work covered in piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 333

You deserved it 2 343

What goes up…

By Anonymous - 18/06/2020 17:02

Spicy

Today, I had to take my daughter to hospital because her butt swallowed her dildo. Try as I might, in the waiting area her dad and I couldn’t stop giggling at random intervals at the absurdity of the situation, so she’s probably never going to speak to us again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 092

You deserved it 294

By unemployed - 10/03/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155 589

You deserved it 7 439

Mission: Do it all over

By SonjaPea - 27/08/2021 21:01 - United Kingdom - Stevenage

Today, I spent 5 hours working on emails for work in a desperate attempt to get back on top of my task list. Having written about 45 emails waiting in my outbox to go out first thing Monday morning, Outlook has "stopped responding". I might've just lost them all and worked through the day for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 131

By Arlbethere - 25/02/2011 12:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I attended the wrong funeral. I spent twenty minutes trying to hide and walk away without being too conspicuous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 264

You deserved it 8 617

By Username - 01/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 925

You deserved it 3 781

By Anonymous - 21/10/2018 16:00 - United States - Trenton

Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 191

You deserved it 219

By Anonymous - 25/08/2018 19:30 - United States - Bellerose

Today, I had to get stitches on my nutsack. I didn't know my mom had waxed the bathroom floor, and while I was stepping into the tub to take a shower my feet slipped in different directions. I landed crotch-first on the metal door frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 469

You deserved it 176

By pgmonster - 21/05/2015 10:48 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I backed into an expensive SUV only minutes after my boss congratulated me for being the only employee to not wreck a company car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 857

You deserved it 5 355

By secretninja64 - 21/08/2014 03:47 - United States - Saint Francis

Today, I got fired after three days at my new job. They told me it was because of downsizing. They were still interviewing people and had a help wanted sign in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 709

You deserved it 4 857

By brokebitch - 09/05/2019 06:00

Spicy

Today, being a broke college student struggling to make ends meet, I decided to sign up for a sugar daddy website. The first person to message me was my high school history teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 1 187

By captainkevineff - 11/03/2010 14:44 - United States

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 874

You deserved it 3 618

By Anonymous - 25/06/2019 22:14

Today, my mother-in-law told me to "just wait" until she gets home from her trip, because apparently, taking a vacation with her partner is more important than the birth of her first grandchild. Contractions started a few hours ago. Part of me hopes she misses it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 198

By Achoo - 15/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 831

You deserved it 5 106

By Fatty1970 - 23/05/2011 01:33 - United States

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 880

You deserved it 19 799

By Foreigner - 01/08/2011 15:05 - Jersey

Today, I was having a great time shopping with my gran, until she started complaining about all the foreigners ruining our town, and counting each person who didn't look 100% British. It wouldn't even have been so bad if I wasn't adopted into the family, from Russia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 629

You deserved it 3 056

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 19:43 - United States - Nutley

Today, trying to be nice, I asked my little sister how school was. She burst into a temper tantrum and screamed at me to fuck off. She's eight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 555

You deserved it 2 537

By warningxxLidell - 09/01/2010 06:45 - United States

Today, I was driving on roads that were bad from two days of snow. I spun my car out, and ended up half-way in a ditch. Thinking that I could push my car out of the snow, I got out of my car, landing in waist deep snow. When trying to get back in, I fell neck deep into snow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 617

You deserved it 6 051

By bird problems - 07/03/2016 17:42 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, since I've been paying attention to my newborn, my pet cockatoo learned to cry like the baby on the middle of the night. I haven't gotten more than four hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 257

You deserved it 2 708

By makeuuuuup - 21/02/2010 01:52 - Canada

Today, I learned the hard way that my foundation shows up under a black light. At a black light party. No one told me until afterwards. Everyone took pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 282

You deserved it 5 039

By Anonymous - 09/12/2011 18:44 - United States

Today, our Christmas tree was damaged beyond repair after my son and his friends borrowed it for a little experiment. They tied balloons to the branches and tried to make it fly, after seeing a similar video online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 547

You deserved it 3 538

No good deed…

By oops - 04/12/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 739

You deserved it 36 285

By 2.5-long-months - 28/07/2016 13:49 - Canada - Edmonton

Spicy

Today, my husband and I had our first prenatal appointment. My doctor told us we shouldn't have sex during the first trimester, "just to be safe". He has no evidence to back this, but now my husband is too scared to touch me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 196

You deserved it 1 607

Almost father

By Anonymous - 12/02/2020 14:00 - United States

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 175

You deserved it 109 119

By jasminejzhu - 14/04/2013 09:58 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 945

You deserved it 11 650

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I had a job interview with a person named Chris. The entire time I couldn't figure out if Chris was a man or woman. The interview went as good as it could have went. At the end I said, "Thank you very much sir." Wrong gender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 362

You deserved it 18 926

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Top comments

lol_ironic_life 9

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:03

That is terrible. Your brother needs to grow up! :) Hope your honeymoon with your hubby made up for it in the end!

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:07

Sounds like your brother needs to be taken out back and beaten.

Comments

lol_ironic_life 9

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:03

That is terrible. Your brother needs to grow up! :) Hope your honeymoon with your hubby made up for it in the end!

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:45

would be truly epic if every1 actually laughed :D

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:52

That is not terrible. That is comedy. Hahaha A wedding to remember. She can tell her grand kids.."did I ever tell you the time I ate shit while walking down the aisle?"

Dragons_corner 6

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Sunday 20 March 2011 14:08

um #1 do we know how old her brothers is?

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Sunday 20 March 2011 15:13

true. still sucks though :(

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Sunday 20 March 2011 15:25

maybe you should decide it would be funny to gut him like a fucking pig while he sleeps...

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Sunday 20 March 2011 15:51

40 funnier than the fml.

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Sunday 20 March 2011 16:01

How do you know that it was the bride who was tripped?

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Sunday 20 March 2011 16:34

Because OP is a woman... and it was her wedding...

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Sunday 20 March 2011 17:25

Congrats on the wedding:D

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Sunday 20 March 2011 19:05

Hahaha made me rofl WIN! ^

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Sunday 20 March 2011 21:12

25 try no matter what his age he needs to mature

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Monday 21 March 2011 2:44

Aww I hope your honeymoonade up for all the nonsense that happened at your wedding too. You should beat up your brother, well that's what I would do. It's every girls dream for a perfect wedding!

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Monday 21 March 2011 23:08

you're not justin beiber.

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Tuesday 22 March 2011 3:11

derp

XwhatsernameX 0

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Friday 25 March 2011 18:57

that is a stereotype that all girls dream of the perfect wedding. I am a girl and I am NEVER getting married because marriage is lame. BTW I think what OP's brother did was hilarious.

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:07

Sounds like your brother needs to be taken out back and beaten.

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Sunday 20 March 2011 18:28

lmfaoo obvs, i would kill :P

sparklemuffin 8

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Sunday 10 July 2011 12:46

kill kill kill kill kill kill!!!!!

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:08

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:13

arranged marriage

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:27

I think you'll find all of the FMLs start with "Today,..." that doesn't necessarily mean people are posting them on the same day it happened. :)

LiznessMonster 9

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Sunday 20 March 2011 16:58

....are you serious? You don't know by now that most FMLs don't happen on the day they're posted? smh.

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Monday 21 March 2011 0:42

she'll be on it alot more since she's now married .

mylifesucksserio 15

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:15

is it on tape

alch4 0

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Thursday 24 March 2011 3:04

win if it is send it to Americas funniest home videos

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:20

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Sunday 20 March 2011 19:06

haha at least now you don't need to go on a honeymoon... I mean you already had a nice trip! thank your brother (:

jess6blondie9 2

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Sunday 20 March 2011 21:56

77, you fail.

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Sunday 20 March 2011 23:55

Yes, thank goodness you don't have to go on your honeymoon. See you next fall.

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Monday 21 March 2011 5:46

Thus comment string has one stiff-leg, while everyone else is punny.

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Monday 21 March 2011 6:59

well then...

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Monday 21 March 2011 7:07

haha <33

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Monday 21 March 2011 7:09

at #77

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:21

Is this your favourite brother?

JustinThunder 8

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:24

References are always funny.

whereismyb4con 16

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Tuesday 26 February 2013 9:15

Not anymore :P

jagd 0

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:23

hire a bunch of japanese mafia members to turn him into sushi

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Sunday 20 March 2011 18:30

that would be awesome

jagd 0

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Monday 21 March 2011 11:18

that's how I want to die

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:24

how old is your brother?

Little_Lamb_fml 13

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:25

aww :( I'm sorry

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Sunday 20 March 2011 13:25

he's a d*ickhead.

AwesomeAsFcuk 0

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Sunday 20 March 2011 14:31

i see what you did there

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31

You deserved it 16

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 17

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend has spent all morning claiming there’s nothing to do when it’s raining outside. Sex is always an option, but he’s missed all my hints, including stripping naked and kissing him, because he thought I was on my way to get a shower instead of trying to fuck him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 170

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 2 744