All the FMLs

By awesome - 05/01/2012 17:13 - United States

Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 713

You deserved it 4 618

By FML - 05/01/2012 15:56 - United States

Today, I received a ticket for not having my headlights on. The cop who pulled me over had a broken headlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 848

You deserved it 4 965

By cazorp - 05/01/2012 11:43 - United States

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 454

You deserved it 2 468

By dusk - 05/01/2012 08:09 - United States

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 116

You deserved it 4 310

By Kyle - 05/01/2012 06:58 - United States

Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 928

You deserved it 35 976

By Anonymous - 05/01/2012 05:17 - United States

Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 156

You deserved it 3 566

By Anonymous - 05/01/2012 04:18 - United States

Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 208

You deserved it 4 592

By Anonymous - 05/01/2012 03:07 - United States

Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 303

You deserved it 8 924

Odd behavior

By Anon - 05/01/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level. He told me that he couldn't have sex with me because of his religious beliefs. I would've been fine with this if it weren't for the fact that I know he and his family are all atheists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 486

You deserved it 4 677

By jada - 04/01/2012 23:29 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend over and over again and he never answered. His mom just called me and asked how I was holding up. I asked her what she meant and she had to tell me he checked himself into rehab because he was addicted to heroin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 381

You deserved it 3 770

By Angela - 04/01/2012 19:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 564

You deserved it 5 593

By Ilostsomuch - 04/01/2012 18:30 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my mother had sold all my valuable collector coins for cheap at a local shady pawn shop to buy herself a TV. The coins in question were worth enough to start a business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 552

You deserved it 3 066

Freakout

By Anonymous - 04/01/2012 17:00 - United States

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 268

You deserved it 2 847

By gimpy - 04/01/2012 16:55 - United States

Today, I had to cut short my New Year's resolution of going to the gym daily, when the meathead next to me dropped some heavy weights, which bounced and landed on my foot. I'm sitting at home in a cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 865

You deserved it 2 490

The Hitchhiker

By hitchhiked - 04/01/2012 06:28 - United States

Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 983

You deserved it 86 146

By emsbuffalo - 04/01/2012 06:15 - United States

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 233

You deserved it 3 135

By Anonymous - 04/01/2012 03:30 - Canada

Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 650

You deserved it 7 840

By mazzer - 04/01/2012 02:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad had a day off and was 'bored' so he decided to move our entire kitchen into our living room. We now have no running water, no oven that works and the entire house is a bombsite. He has an entire week off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 064

You deserved it 2 271

Good girl

By vanessa560 - 03/01/2012 19:44 - Canada

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 192

You deserved it 8 355

By max - 03/01/2012 19:36 - United States

Today, I went jogging with my girlfriend. I'm pretty sure my moobs bounced more than her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 096

You deserved it 30 417

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 19:22 - United States

Today, as I was driving in reverse, I hit my boyfriend's mom's car. I met her for the first time while giving her my information. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 971

You deserved it 7 920

By cul8erqtpie20 - 03/01/2012 16:35 - United States

Today, I found out my roomie has lost her only source of income. This means I'm responsible for all the bills and the rent. I would kick her out and get someone else, but she's my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 324

You deserved it 4 734

By sparkx555 - 03/01/2012 16:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I ignored my phone, as my mother has dementia and calls me 15 or so times a day, thinking each time is the first. I braved horrendous rain and gale-force winds to go to work. Turns out it was work calling to tell me not to bother coming in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 028

You deserved it 42 994

sparkx555 tells us more.

sparkx555 7

Tuesday 3 January 2012 21:18

ok, my mother lives with my brother, she is in the early stages of demetia, she's never left alone, i do everything for her, except answer the phone 15 or more times a day to answer the same questions. i do love her, more than anything, but the phone thing, between her and the nusiance sales calls, I feel a little demented myself! And I could have done with the day off, I would have spent it with her.

By fatandsad - 03/01/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, I bought a $450 elliptical machine to get in shape of the new year. After 5 hours of putting it together, I realized that all the ceilings in every room of my apartment are too low for me to use it without hitting my head. I can't return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 108

You deserved it 9 999