"Honey, can't you see I'm on a date here? Don't be so selfish! It's always about "Me, me, me." Can't you just let a guy have a nice time with his girl without getting calls every five minutes from his needy wife? *to the date, away from phone* the nerve of that woman..."

"moments before impact"

"moments during impact"

I can't believe that you had time to write all that without losing the top spot

I can't believe you had time to write all of that without losing the top spot

I can't believe you had time to write all of that and without losing the top spot

"moments after impact"?

"moments around impact"

erm...Deep Impact?

Deep penetration?

Double penetration!

Sounds like you have expertise on this matter lol just kidding.

You're a independent black woman who ain't need no man! Yeah screw him, you deserve better if he doesn't value your relationship.

Racist

I think it's supposed to be a reference to a meme or chain message from facebook or something. I don't think he's racist, just that it's not a very well known joke.

It's not racist it's from a comedian on Comedy Central.

It can also be one of family guys many black jokes.

It's about time, that asshole needs to have his Ass dumped..

Get proof! Divorce his ass and take his house! What a douchebag!

That's horrible. I'm sorry OP. You'll find better than that ass bucket.

How dare you interrupt him while he's on a date with Siri?! Can't you let the poor man have phone sex once in a while?!

The closet thing a man can get to phone sex with Siri is " I found 18 strip clubs in your area. "

Or "ooohhhhhh". Seen it on YouTube, and I had to try it, took about 4 tries to get Siri to say it. I couldn't stop laughing. Siri can be funny when you know what to say, but most time takes a few tries :p

Time to file for divorce OP.You deserve better than a man, who treats you like this.

I think you should fuck one of his friends. That's acceptable payback.

But when the husband finds the video on his friends laptop, she won't be able to easily get the house in the divorce...

Yes supportcommand, because stooping to the husband's level puts OP on the moral higher ground. I seriously hope you don't really think retaliation is the answer.

# 38. To be totally truthful, no, I don't actually think that this is the best course of action for op. but what really gets me is why you are so concerned about whether I was joking or not.

To be honest I don't give two shits, I was hoping for your sake more than mine.

It seems like you do, since you stated that you seriously hope that I don't think that retaliation is the answer. Sounds like you care to me.

I said I 'seriously hope' the way I would say 'I seriously hope the United States gets over their gun issue' even though I live in Canada, so whether they do or don't is irrelevant to me. I would just pity them, as I would pity you if that was in fact your mentality. You seem to care a great deal about whether or not I care, though. Is there a reason why? Are you trying to instigate an argument, or are you genuinely curious?

Genuinely curious. No need to have an argument. We went through that before, remember?

Nope, though I can believe it did.

No.

I care that you care that he cares but she doesn't care we all care as a cumulative entity we all really don't care. Unless we care, then the prognosis is that we ultimately care. *hides*

*reads comment 75 several times* << BOOM! >> *brain explodes*

Cheating is never acceptable in a committed relationship.. It's time for either a long talk or diverse papers.

I think divorce papers would be more effective than diverse papers.

"diverse papers" are the papers like different colors or something?

Diverse papers is summary of all the types of papers including divorce that OP will be filling out.

Divorce** Jesus Christ lol

@ #59 I wouldn't want to divorce Jesus Christ, even if I was female and married to him.. think of the ultimate celebrity prestige!

You should go ahead and decide on a divorce, I think you could do better.

Ouch, that sucks! Sorry OP, ditch him!