By SoreNips - 12/04/2013 23:57 - United Kingdom - Brentwood

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 420
You deserved it 13 951

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The way this is worded makes me picture your nipples in tears.

"What in the name of Dawkins" that's fantastic. Also, maybe she's just trying to tell you she's into pain. Sure would be a weird way of showing it, but ya know.

Comments

21 - you left out the "by my cat while I was asleep."

Nipple cripple!!!

OP, sometimes women do bad things to men, but it does NOT mean that the man did something to deserve it. It's very possible that they're just being a bitch.

The way this is worded makes me picture your nipples in tears.

That is a very moving mental image! A bit disturbing but moving. Lol

Male lactation?

"What in the name of Dawkins" that's fantastic. Also, maybe she's just trying to tell you she's into pain. Sure would be a weird way of showing it, but ya know.

Turnabout is always fair play.

I wasn't sure if that was actually supposed to be the saying because when I write "fucking" in my phone it autocorrects to "Dickinson" but maybe it's an actual saying who knows?

It's something atheists say instead of god, not an autocorrect thing

That's ridiculous

I voted YDI just because OP used that phrasing.

When I Googled "Dawkins" the top result was the Wikipedia page of Richard Dawkins, a famous scientist. So I'd guess OP is an Athiest

You let your guard down, that's what you did.

I truly don't know how I would react to that

By doing the same thing back to her.

Maybe she gets pleasure from your pain?

Oh yea maybe she's just a masochist, but its okay OP that's definitely not a reason to be concerned...

59- you mean sadist, not masochist

Shit lol I looked up masochist just to make sure it was the same as sadist cuz I like the word better but now that I reread the definition it says "deriving pleasure from ones OWN pain" case and point I shouldn't comment after an 8 hour shift at 1 in the morning

Twisted Nipples. I'm totally going to name my band that. Now if only i had a band, or any musical talent...

You don't need musical talent.. Look at niki minaj..

I play a game with a friend of mine where we (well, mostly I) come up with awesome band names, like "Kamakazi Bumblebee," "Call Off the Dogs," "Prey on the Innocent," "Culture Shock," and "Heavy Footed Beast." It's a fun game. You guys should try it.

26 - If I ever make a band, remind me not to ask you for a name haha. But seriously--Culture Shock...writing that one down...

Ha ha! That was one of his! But whatever, man. I'm a band-naming genius. :P

11, thank you, sir, for that comment, it made me laugh like a jackass in the public, lol

Perhaps it's because you say things like what in the Dawkins

No, worshipping the Atheist religion is much better. Cause Richie is such a great guy!

Haha... Atheist religion, don't be silly.

shoulda done it back !

Should have* (pet hate.)

shoulda is fine as slang... It's "should of" that gets little girls' panties in a twist.

She probably did it because you say things like why in the Dawkins.