By Anonymous - 28/08/2012 23:08 - United States - Merrillville

Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 853
You deserved it 5 862

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perdix 29

Looks like you have a 50/50 chance of having an idiot baby.


Good man you got there.... Hope you get it figured out

Well either you're a ***** or your boyfriend is an asshole. Maybe even both. FYL indeed.

13 - why is 1 a *****?

Deny and flee is the pussy way out. Accept and gut punch is how a real man handles it.

meliadams 12

Punching the girl in the stomach? I'm sure you're joking, but that's not even the least bit funny.

I think he was joking, but I think a few people will find it funny, simply because it is a joke. I for one laughed but I have a warped sense of humour!

gunmania0 12

42 - I wear 3 condoms each time and I still punch my girlfriend in the stomach during ovulation. Just to make sure.

jillybee101 7

45- If you have even the slightest of brain you'd realize that 3 condoms would do you no good. Ad your joke wasn't the least bit funny.

alshygirl 14

45-what the heck is wrong with you? Punching your girlfriend in the ovary? People just keep getting dumber PS multiple condoms have a tendency to break more often than just one would.

54 - Calm down. Do you not know what a "joke" is?

26 wasn't saying that he should gut punch the girl. He was saying accept that you have a child and take it like a punch in the gut.

Falcon Punch!!!

Okay, I'm all down for jokes and usually I'm not very serious, but punching a girl in the stomach is not something to joke about. I was in that situation once and they caught it on camera and the guy who did it is sitting his ass in jail now. Not funny at all. I take that personally.

If my girlfriend told me she was prego I would not care if it's a boy or girl as long as it was black so I can go back to being selfish.

tjv3 10

What a dirt bag. This is both an FML and a YDI. There must have been signs pointing out how big of a dirt bag he was prior to sex

lolx7 5

wow what a manwhore

Has he ever heard of wearing protection

IAmzephyr 22

pull out game weak


xMiss_Maggot 7

stfu that crap is annoying!

135 - 147 (currently) disagree with you.

it should be Maury Maury Maury

Two number ones? THIS IS MADNESS!

There's 4 #2s lol well there was when I posted this. That fml update lag

Ok good so I'm not the only one seeing this

MetalxSoldier 26

Well then he shouldn't mind taking a paternity test.

Up next on Maury...

Anybody else thinking we might see that happen on the Maury show?

jayhawkchik 4

I think you meant a " paternity " test, as any pregnancy test he would take will lead to a negative result. Biological men can't get pregnant you moron!

^ Learn to read you moron!

CherryLipBalm 1

He's going to make a smart father...

Elovena 9

I watched that episode of spongebob five minutes ago. :)

He's going to make a fart smather.

Lizza330 28

I think you better hope his stupidity dosen't get passed down to the baby.

Better hopes the baby doesn't inherit momma's smarts either for sleeping with such a dumb guy.

perdix 29

Looks like you have a 50/50 chance of having an idiot baby.

kut17 11

But wouldn't she be an idiot, too, for having a relationship/baby with an idiot?

Through 16s logic, everyone on this world is pretty much an idiot

#25, starting with you right?

28 - Nope 25 comes second.

And congratulation OP's husband for being the first stupid person!!!

Well, 16 claimed anyone who had a relationship with an idiot was also an idiot, and most people have had relationships with idiotic people at some point of their lives, which would make most of the world idiotic. I'm probably just over analyzing here but it's 5 AM here and it's making sense to me as of now.

So... Would this make all of the forever alone people the geniuses in the world?

Well, it's not just about having a relationship with an idiot. Given that they had unprotected sex with each other it's fair to say that they were both being idiots. Still genetics being what they are: while their phenotypes would belong to the idiot category, their genotype might not (exclusively). Which would point to idiocy being dominant, and leave the child with a 25% chance of being born with two sets of non-idiot genes. However if both gene sets are equally likely to become active, then the chances are back up at 50%. If one or both parents has two idiocy sets, then the chances for a born idiot would increase again - between 75% to 100% (depending on which is recessive and whether both have it). In any case: if is genetic, then the chances are at least 50%, but could be considerably more. Of course that leaves the nature vs nurture argument - being raised by two idiots, the child's chances are pretty bleak. Then again if she gives the child up for adoption ...

perdix 29

#88, nice discussion, but you omitted the part whether either or both parent was homogeneous idiot or heterogeneous idiot. This would complicate the Punnett Square. Of course, I'm waiting for the trend to take hold where women want to procreate with really smart guys. I'd go down to the bar with my SAT scores dangling out of my pants and, bada-bing, bada-boom!

adamgrainsofsand 1

Looks more like a 100% chance

Threaten to give him a REAL accident that will leave him sterile.

eternal7 6

That's probably what the ex tried when he left her alone with a child. He might think his story is true.

I love your comment... Excellent!!!

73- If you like someones comment, there is a thumbs up button. if you love it, you can create a new account and thumbs it up again. I'm not meaning to make you feel bad, I'm just tired of the useless comments.

Perhaps an unfortunate smelting accident?

Well, YDI for OBVIOUSLY cheating on him. (sarcasm by the way. Your life sucks.)

you know, you should never have to say if it's sarcasm or a joke in the same comment.

You do. The FML community isn't as smart as it once was.

I don't think you should, if you get sarcasm right, not very often do you see sarcasm done right or made obvious on here apart from the big commentators. I think it's a case of people not stopping to think about what he/she has said and joining in on the thumbs down.

I don't think she cheated. I think it's just her boyfriend trying to make up an excuse as to why it's not his child even though there's proof that he CAN have kids.

Sinkhole 26

^ That is why you need to say when it's sarcasm.

I take it back, maybe we do. Kinda defeats the point surely?

Apparently even when you do say it's sarcasm people just don't get it…

Allornone 35

Here's to hoping the baby inherits more of his/her personality from you than that tool.

She was slutty enough to get pregnant to an idiot like that, she's probably no angel either.