By SuzyTurquoiseBlu - 29/08/2012 05:32 - Australia - Fairfield
SuzyTurquoiseBlu tells us more.
Well, they aren't really liked in the family and I think that its both really rude and sad of them to try and piggy-back their special occasions with mine. My sister in-law and her fiancee got engaged in the waiting room while I was in ACTIVE labour with my daughter and got pissed off that everyone wasn't falling over themselves to congratulate them.
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What a bitch of her. It was your special day first, they can het hitched any other day.
183- But don't you find it bitchy that the sister-in-law put it on OP's birthday, knowing that she was doing so, and then had the audacity to say that OP couldn't celebrate their own special day to make for hers? It wouldn't be surprising if OP did try and crash it, regardless of whether it's the right thing to do.
If you can't see any other possibilities, than you guys are the "stupid and dense ones". It's highly possibly that that particular date was the one that worked best. Ever thought of that?? OP could be easily exaggerating and in what world is a birthday more important than a wedding?? As someone currently planning a wedding, it is incredibly stressful and there is always someone complaining about something, no matter how good your intentions are.
Your stupidity astounds me. She could take as long as she wants to plan the wedding. There are 365 days in the year and OP's birthday is the ONLY day that worked? And then she forbids her from celebrating her own goddamned birthday? The arrogance of the sister in law is off the charts.
81- I couldn't agree more. 76- Nope, you're still wrong, and still dense. You sound like one of those girls who INSIST on spending tons of money on a wedding. Love is more important than a wedding, not the wedding itself. So it should be able to be moved around and not on OPs birthday.
83 - Amen to that. I'm planning a wedding right now as well. My fiancé and I specifically decided on a two year engagement for this exact reason! We could make sure it doesn't coincide with any bad days (close relative's own special occasions), we could make sure people knew not to plan other trips/events if they want to come, and to spread out the stress. A wedding is only as stressful as you make it.
Of course they could have really wanted to have the wedding around the time of OP's birthday and the venue they wanted was only available on that day or something, but that's not the selfish thing about it. She told her sister in law not to celebrate her birthday because all the attention had to be on her. If that's not selfish I don't know what is.
Seriously 62? I'm 10 days away from my 200 guest outdoor wedding and I've been way more stressed during Finals week while also working a full time job. Wedding planning is as stressful as you make it. And before the assumptions fly, no i don't have rich parents, a lot of money or a wedding planner. I'm doing that all by myself with $2000, clothing included. Sweriously it's a wedding. Not rocket science.
I am definitely not one of those girls having a big fancy wedding! I am having a tiny wedding with less than 50 guests, on a very small budget which we are paying for ourselves and have had 11 month engagement. It isn't automatically MY fault that it's stressful- my family and in laws have made this time absolutely awful. And we have bent over backwards and rescheduled the wedding 3 times to keep them happy. And in the end, you've got to do what makes you happy, no matter what. Because someone will always be unhappy. My point is that, perhaps OP's SIL has done absolutely everything possible to keep everyone happy, and OP is the unlucky one that is left unhappy.
I'm on either side of the fence here. While I agree that the sister in law is a bitch for demanding OP not celebrate, if I was in the same situation, I'd think 'What better way to celebrate my birthday than on one of the happiest days of my brother's life?' Then again, knowing he's marrying a self-centered bitch wouldn't gel well with me. I'm torn, but either way, OP doesn't deserve it.
okay even if you are having a small wedding, you have to be a Hugh **** in order to tell someone that they can't celebrate their birthday cause of your own selfishness. why not make the damn wedding next week? I am engage to this girl and we ain't getting married til two years later and we made sure it didn't fall on someone birthday that is close to us. I don't want to be the asshole friend or family that schedule my wedding on their birthday which they get to celebrate only one day of the year while the people who are getting marry can choose any date...
Like 85 said, the main problem is that the sister in law told OP she can't celebrate her birthday because it would take the attention away from her wedding day. Not just the simple fact the wedding is on her birthday. I don't care how stressful planning a wedding is, you have to be a complete selfish bitch to tell someone not to celebrate their own birthday.
Okay 131-You have issues. The fact is and sometimes it sucks but when you are getting married you are marrying the family as well. Not saying you give everything up that's important but that you would show them the same respect you would show your family. This isn't just ignorant to the sister it also is a slap in the face to the mother who gave birth on the same day for her daughter not to be able to celebrate the bday. That is not how you treat family and if she had any respect for her soon to be husband she would not be making problems that there was no need for. Some people need to grow the **** up. It's a wedding not a excuse to be a self centered bitch.
156- I think you're confusing "keeping an open mind" with completely ignoring the facts. How is OP being dramatic? Her sister in law told her not to celebrate her birthday. Even if OP was upset about this and wanted to celebrate her birthday anyways, that wouldn't be being dramatic; that would be her celebrating her birthday like she should be able to. If that's even what you are theorizing she is being dramatic about. I just don't see your reasoning behind what you're saying at all.
What right does the sister-in-law have to tell another human being that they can't/shouldn't celebrate their own ******* birthday? She is definitely a self-centered bitch. I would have thrown another separate party for OP and have made it a surprise or something.
165 - You noticed Aussie was taking it personal, as well? I briefly entertained the suspicion that Aussie IS the sister in law. That's the only reason I can think of to stand up so whole heatedly for someone that's a complete stranger and is obviously in the wrong.
That is real selfish of your brother and sister in law. Seems like she's a real bitch
I don't think her brother and SIL deserve to be even related to her. I mean, it sounds like OP was perfectly happy and minding her own business until that b*tch of a woman decided to tell OP NOT to celebrate HER OWN BIRTHDAY! And her brother was a total douche, changing the date to HIS OWN SISTER'S BIRTHDAY! the nerve of some people.
Why the hell would they do that!? If I were you, I would just not come to their wedding and have a party with my friends instead. That was just mean!
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Why is it such a big deal?? It's just a birthday- a wedding is the most important event in their lives. Ever thought that perhaps OP's sister in law looked into every other option, and that particular day worked best??
Even if that's the case, the right and polite thing to do would've been talking to OP about it. They should've pulled her aside and said that, after a lot of consideration, it seems that the best day for the wedding is OP's birthday. They also should've asked if OP was okay with it. The FML isn't that the wedding day is the same as OP's birthday - it's the fact that the bride was a complete snob about it.
I agree 63, but perhaps OP is just overreacting about how everything happened? We don't know for sure that the future bride didn't say it really politely and mean well with what she said. And 66, how could you possibly know that the bride is doing it to spite OP? They might have a wonderful relationship, and due to commitments and guests, that could have been the only date available. Something I have learnt as I'm planning my own wedding, is that someone will always be unhappy with the decisions, and that you can't please everyone. In the end, you have to do what works best for you and your partner- otherwise everyone would be miserable.
how the hell can you politely say "you're not allowed to celebrate your birthday, I'm more important" ? shut up, you're being rather stupid by looking at it the way you are. there are ways to go about saying "it seems to be the best day for the ceremony" and it doesn't go like the one we've heard! even if it had to be that day any decent couple would mention (especially since it's the grooms sister) that it's her birthday and at least get her her own cake! there's no two ways about it, she's done it on purpose.
70 - First of all...the fml is that her future sister in law TOLD her NOT to celebrate her birthday because it would take away from the true meaning of the day!! Second of all...a birthday is a celebration of the day you were born...of new life! A wedding is a big party to celebrate but in the grand scheme of things a wedding is just a day. It's the marriage that's the important part. It is absolutely ridiculous to expect to be able to demand someone not celebrate their own birthday because you have a wedding DAY planned. I know that no one I know would behave that way...I also happen to think that there are a few days that are more important than a wedding day so it's not the most important day of their lives.
123 - You come across as unintelligent because you seem unable to grasp the fact that no matter what tone you use, saying "you cannot celebrate your birthday as it will take away the true meaning of the day," is rude, inconsiderate, and completely impolite. Maybe there is more to the story but as it stands, that's how it apparently went down and if the SIL truly did say that, she's a rude, selfish bitch.
Does keeping an open mind involves trying to convince everyone that the SIL is correct and that OP is a drama queen, while justifying her actions to "forbid" OP of celebrating her birthday? Get your head out of your ass. A wedding doesn't give you the right to disrespect your future family members by forbidding them to celebrate their birthday just because it would divert the attention. It's not because she's stressed, it's because she wants that day to be all about her and no one else.
Bridezilla much? So you can never celebrate your birthday again? You should buy another cake just to piss her off and have everyone sing happy birthday to you right after they cut their cake. Then take over half of the gift table.