By g'day cunt - 26/08/2012 18:27 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML
I agree, your life sucks 8 641
You deserved it 28 873

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Wait.. you spray perfume in your mouth?

But why would you ever spray perfume directly at your mouth?


Personally I prefer the fresh smell of decaying flesh. But that's just me.

Sorry. My brother decided to comment something lovely. Yaaay for automatically logging in on the phone app (sarcasm)

-9 OMG the zombie apocalypse is beginning.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

Really? The old "my brother posted that, not me!" excuse? Is your name Chantal by any chance? This stands right next to "I didn't inhale" and "My dog ate my homework" as the worst excuses ever.

Yknow.. If you had left it at "my lip split open" you probably would've had a lot less YDIs

Those, and "I was just standing there, minding my own business, when..."

You spray perfume on ypur lips? Do they smell bad if you don't?

Your* Please add an edit button to the android app!

Why weren't you at the hospital OP? Your lip was split in half......

Wait.. you spray perfume in your mouth?

Doesn't seem like it would give someone fresh breath.

flutter4 7

Maybe she was aiming for her neck and missed. But whole whole spray is way to much anyway.

Inheritance 10

Maybe just maybe the spray nozzle was turned sideways towards her mouth?

Maybe she thought it was breathspray?

Maybe she's like Will Ferrell in "Elf".

mzrobinson 13

Even if it was breathspray, you don't spray your lips... You spray inside your mouth so it shouldn't have even gotten on the lip.

But why would you ever spray perfume directly at your mouth?

If it had been breath spray, OP would have said breath spray. Breath spray and perfume are very different.

She probably was just spraying it at her face.

19- I think you may actually be one of the dumbest people on this site.

Trix_Disorder 20

78 - Your picture really weirds me out for some reason.

Trix_Disorder 20

84 - I see you changed your picture. Maybe you thought it looked strange, too?

> 85 posts about hating the entitled and pompous user base on this site > is part of the entitled and pompous user base on this site

I'm pretty sure if she sprayed breath spray in it she would have said "breath spray". She said perfume, which I consider to be the stuff you spray on your clothes to smell good.

Where would anyone call breath spray perfume? Provide one example. Or just admit that you're wrong. You kept begging for "logic" but there is no logic behind your comments. You're painfully trying to save face and it's not working to your advantage. Yes I realize that "not everyone speaks the same", but that doesn't mean they call breath spray "perfume". The only person with a malfunction here is you. Some guys always seem to think that girls are PMSing when they get put in their place, but honestly you're just a moron.

Ins0mau 20

96 - OP is from Australia, and as an Australian, I'd like to point out that I'd be pretty surprised if somewhere in my country, it was normal to call breathe spray "perfume".

CoffeeChickBlows 13

K, let me be the mediator here, coz you're all acting like your precious egos are on fire. Right. Guy above me: it doesn't have to be 'normal' for people to say it. If one person says it, then that's that. Doesn't matter if other people do or don't. Katie: go to google and put in 'perfume breath spray.' You'll get a bunch of hits. BTW, we use the whole PMS thing figuratively, don't worry about it, there's no male conspiracy or anything. This kid went about it in the wrong way but he's got a point. OP sprayed their face, there's nothing to be debated about it. Both of you are just so defensive you feel like you've gotta save face. OP: you're a 'tard.

SystemofaBlink41 27

That's my same question xD you'd think that if she missed she would have put it in the post...

Not all of us Australians talk like that. There are a select few that believe it is not a compliment to call someone a '****'.

I agree with #43 People like the OP have given our country a bad name. Most of us don't talk or even think like that!

fylx100 19

67- But I don't think Australia is a bad country. Who said people give you guys a bad name? Australians, Canadians, and the UK I think are all great people! I'm American.

Most of the people I know use that word in every day life, it's disgusting to hear people say it to anyone around them.

Nothing wrong with the word ****. No reason its worse than any other word.

I believe it is, and I'm talking about people also using it (and other swear words) around little children, around people who deserve respect (old army men and women), people who don't need to hear a young person shouting curse words in shopping centres and public places.

How often are you in a situation where you're around old army men/women?

Personally I find the word **** to be really down grading. But people are still gonna use it. I can't stop people from swearing and I don't mind unless my kids hear it. There's nothing quite like a cussing toddler lol.

In Brisbane at least, just about everyone says ****... It barely means anything anymore. It's just like 'lol,' it's a word used recklessly

Ins0mau 20

As an Australian that rarely hears that word, I'm now wondering if I live a sheltered life...

all citizens of the world are good people. Except Americans. **** America

69- Especially Canadians. They are some of the nicest people I have ever met.

82, it's a shame that you hate fun

121. No, I really don't? I don't know where you got that from? My dad is ex-army, as was both my grand-dad's therefore, I am around army people all the time. It's just my opinion :)

Dirty mouth? Clean it up with perfume, apparently

111 - yea your in Hobart... You're probably sheltered. They even want to ban tobacco there! :-/

afairshake 8

Wow hate much? I think maybe some anger management might be in order for you.

afairshake 8

You know I'm an American and highly insulted by your hateful comment and even sadder to see you're from Canada which is where my boyfriend lives and I will soon be living. It's a shame people like you give Canadians a bad name. Anger management maybe?

I'm not saying swearing in front of kids is fine, especially if their not your own, but if you're going to swear, there's no reason why **** is particularly bad.

131, I'm just not a fan of the word, and swearing in general, I choose not to swear, but that's just me :)

I'm in Sydney and I rarely hear the word being used. Thank god.

sportcrazychick4 7

Wasn't Australia made up of all of Britons criminals?

Why are you spraying perfume on your mouth? You are aware that if you want your breath to smell good, they have breath sprays and gum, right?

celine21_fml 0

Lol I did that when I was kid once...yeah it didn't taste all that great

Those things can get nasty, get better soon

Lax_life51 1

Why are you spraying perfume on your lips in the first place?

She thought it was passion fruit spray! (elf reference)

I'm curious as to why you decided to apply perfume to your face/mouth. Were you out of mouth wash?

At least you didn't drink any orange juice. Any cut anywhere in or on your mouth, it will find it, and brutally violate it.

Psych101 9

Same goes for hand sanitizer. It's a useful device for finding all of the previously unknown cuts on your hand. OP, I normally wouldn't have to say this, but don't rub hand sanitizer on your lip. But since you spray perfume directly on there, who knows what else you do.

My dad once tricked me into eating a raw habanero pepper when I had chapped lips. That was not a pleasant experience.

Wishez 12

God damn it squeaky, I read what you said about reading your comments in a high pitched voice and now I can't stop reading them in a high pithed voice! :D

I spilt my lip open once and then delighted in some salt and vinegar chips. Fuuuuuuuuck! Idiot.

I once got a small cut on my finger, and as a joke my friend replace the Hydrogen Peroxiden with lemon juice. Worst. Prank. Ever.