All the FMLs

Oh wow! It actually got posted! I'm the OP here, and I'm 19, the reason I'm confused is because when I finished high school he and I were going to move down to Florida together so I could go to college, and I got really sick, so we stayed here. My mom was completely fine with it when we were going to move out of state but now that we're moving to the apartment complex not even a mile away. I asked her for clarification and she told me that I knew what she meant. So I asked my dad, and he told me the same thing. I think they might be screwing with me.

Hello, OP here.. Yes, there is way more to this story, but it was too long for the FML post. So, I once had to go to a Cash Money Store, two christmas 's ago, because I had no money and just lost a job, needing Christmas presents- I sold my soul to one of those stores. For months on end that Cash Money store kept taking money from me (even though I gave them what they needed back) and ever since then, once every two months the bank would make excuses as to why they'd need all of my money, examples: "Oh the Cash Money Store took OUR money and so we are taking YOURS " , "Oh there is this fee you never payed this month and so we took extra" "Oh it's this mandatory add-on that we put on people's accounts" ,in the end I told them I wanted to switch banks, and that's when they started to accuse me of identity theft. Now mind you- I still look the same, I don't age quickly, and so in the end their arguments were invalid, but because they are a bank, it is a little difficult to just be like "Oh, your branch is wrong, and I am right" yes I did switch banks, and I hope this helped with some of the confusion. Thank you :).

Lol he wasn't joking, but he wasn't trying to insult me either, in his mind that comment was trying to insult the guy hitting on me, strangely my hubby adores me and is a great guy, it's just funny the way it came out.

Hey guys, OP here. Posted this before I made a username. I didn't actually place her on my shoulder, I was sitting on the couch letting her run around next to me and she decided to climb up my chest and onto my shoulder. Suddenly I heard this weird crunching sound next to my head and I picked her up and saw the clump of hair hanging out of her mouth! Then it was like playing tug-of-war with a dog. She would NOT let go. I didn't think I'd have to pull as hard as I did just to pull something out of a guinea pig's mouth lol! I didn't want her getting sick so I put her back in her cage and threw the hair in the garbage.

Alright. Where to start. 1) I submitted this FML and someone liked it so much he decided to submit it as his own with a few modifications. That's why there are comments about "daddy". 2) My son is 18 months, is developmentally challenged and just learning. He did not actually get me. 3) It is a learning fork for children which has metal, rounded prongs so it doesn't hurt if he gets you or himself. 4) I did take away his fork to which he screamed and cried. When he settled down, I gave it back and he was content to stab his pancake. 5) Have you people never been stabbed by plasticware or a spork? That shit hurts! 6) I do not live in Ghana.