By badass - 13/08/2011 07:25 - United States
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if you have kids, don't get a divorce. but, this sucks. talk to her about it and take her on a last date and make it the most amazing. hopefully she'll fall back for you too. she loved you once, doesn't mean it can't happen again. only selfish people get divorces when they have kids... (my opinion) don't judge.
This is actually sweet somehow. :') maybe now, in the midst of all this chaos, he sees her as the girl he fell in love with back then. It's time like this where both party will just tense down a little as they're in the process of divorce. But it's also the time where they re-discover each other. But then again, if the reason for divorce is unforgivable, just move on. But maybe, if you guys reconcile, you'll appreciate each other better. (gosh I talk alot :( )
Getting back together with an ex almost never works. You forget all the reasons you wanted to separate, and all the things you don't like about the person, and only remember the good things and good times you've had together. When you get back together, you just remember, 'oh I remember why I hated you!', etc. It just doesn't work most of the time.
i respect your opinion, but having a divorce when you have kids isnt being selfish. what if you're not in a happy or healthy relationship with your spouse? it's better to have a divorce then to stay with them. it will also be nicer for your kids, so they can grow up in a better environment then one with maybe: fighting, alcohol, ect. ect.
48, that's not necessarily true. There's always going to be the bad things in every relationship. What I'm trying to say is it won't just be the 'ex couples getting back together' which will have bad things existing, it's every relationship, and yet there are plenty of healthy, thriving ones out there.
20- only selfish people expect people to stay together when there is nothing there. Two people shouldn't be together just because they have kids together..they need to be together because the truly love and care for each other. If those emotions aren't there than it's just going to lead to a very bad and unhappy situation for everyone.
How is it selfish to get a divorce? It's selfish to tell 2 people to stay together and be unhappy when the love is long gone. My parents divorced when I was in 5th grade and it never negatively affected me. I never really even cared to be honest. Parents have a right to be happy just as their children do. Both of my parents have gotten into happier situations and changed for the better. It feels a lot better being in a genuinely happy family rather than one obviously faking a smile through the years. My parents aren't selfish for wanting a better situation for themselves and their family.
20- are you fucking serious?! Have you ever been a child of divorcing parents. Yea, blah blah, it sucks that you don't live with both at the same time. But that's a hell of a lot better than being woken up throughout the night by constant yelling and fighting, then crying yourself back to sleep
try winning her back, if she's comfortable with you though or if she wants to be with you..
Assess if that's for the long term or just because you're rehashing the early years of your marriage (when it wasn't so bad). Who knows?
That seriously sucks...but hey...maybe she feels the same way??
You are looking back at the good times. Remember why the divorce is happening and look forward to your new life.