You have a pussy as a bodyguard

You should buy one of those attack dog suits the police use to train their dogs. You'd be invincible! Or a giant scratching post..

OP is the giant scratching post.

Just get a laserpointer. No cat can resist it.

@37 - If only that were true. Mine don't seem to understand the concept and are content to staring at me as though I'm crazy.

Your cat's just protecting you, and itself from cat burglars.

cats cant think?

You sir, will be the first to go by them.

Really? "Cats can't think"? Cats are just as smart as dogs, just not as driven to learn tricks. Their brains aren't as useless as yours may be.

Well at least no cat burglar is going to come in.

Unless the burglar comes in the window

You mean, unless the burglar comes _intruder_ window.

Here comes the onslaught of pussy jokes.... right after the onslaught of piss-poor jokes on the previous FML. Hooray for the cliché FMLs.

Arm yourself with a spray bottle.

more like a bucket of water

A bucket of water... with a lid. Problem solved.

YDI for letting your pet run your house. Now make it rain, you crazy catlovers.

My cat calls that dastardly weapon the "wet catarizer"!

Well, it might stop attacking, but that will probably backfire when it actually is a cat burglar or someone with similar intentions.

I know cats have a painful scratch, but is it really worth climbing through your window just to avoid your cat?

I'd be investing in some behavioral/temperament training for the cat tbh.

Yeah, plus if they go through the window instead the cat's never going to learn. It's just going to think OP magically appears in her room and never uses the door, meaning if someone is at the door it can't be OP....by giving in they're just prooving the cat right.

The guy from the tv show "My Cat from Hell" could solve this cat issue lol

So according to your cat, the door is for burglars and the window is for the owner?

Your cat needs to straighten its priorities.

It's phase one in establishing total domination over this petty domicile. The bigger picture is utter annihilation of the human race in the long run, but for now, just purr and watch the puny human climb through the window.

First they put us out by making us do ridiculous things to keep them happy.

Then they /take/ us out while we sleep.

A master plan, indeed.

Sounds like there's a catburglar in town.
I apologize for that one, that really bites, OP.

Maybe you could put your cat locked up in the bathroom when you go out?

How would you like being locked away in a bathroom each time your owner / parents / roommates / significant other leaves the house?

64. If i beat the crap out of my neighbor every time he/she entered my house to say hi. I would deserve to be locked the the bathroom.

It's just a few hours. It's not like he doesn't have food and a litter box in there.

I wouldn't lock my cat in a bathroom. If we have to lock him up (like if the door is going to be open for a while, to keep him from escaping) we put him in a bedroom with his litter, food and water. Then at least there's a cozy place to sleep.