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By Anonymous / Friday 21 June 2013 14:28 / United States
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You should buy one of those attack dog suits the police use to train their dogs. You'd be invincible! Or a giant scratching post..

Don't try to pussyfoot your way out of that comment, 27. Cat puns are severely overused. They rub people the wrong way now. The next time you're feline like making a pussy pun, paws for a moment and remember this tail.

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Heard about 30 times per cat FML, and let's just say there is no short supply of cat FMLs. But don't shoot the messenger, I never thumb anything anyway.

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Don't try to pussyfoot your way out of that comment, 27. Cat puns are severely overused. They rub people the wrong way now. The next time you're feline like making a pussy pun, paws for a moment and remember this tail.

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wait, why doesn't OP just put her cat outside her door, lock her door, and go about her business? I used to do that all the time....

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that's just cruel... besides, most people's cats live indoors only, without ever going out, so this might not really be an option.

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You should buy one of those attack dog suits the police use to train their dogs. You'd be invincible! Or a giant scratching post..

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@37 - If only that were true. Mine don't seem to understand the concept and are content to staring at me as though I'm crazy.

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Really? "Cats can't think"? Cats are just as smart as dogs, just not as driven to learn tricks. Their brains aren't as useless as yours may be.

Here comes the onslaught of pussy jokes.... right after the onslaught of piss-poor jokes on the previous FML. Hooray for the cliché FMLs.

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A bucket of water... with a lid. Problem solved. YDI for letting your pet run your house. Now make it rain, you crazy catlovers.

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Well, it might stop attacking, but that will probably backfire when it actually is a cat burglar or someone with similar intentions.

I know cats have a painful scratch, but is it really worth climbing through your window just to avoid your cat? I'd be investing in some behavioral/temperament training for the cat tbh.

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Yeah, plus if they go through the window instead the cat's never going to learn. It's just going to think OP magically appears in her room and never uses the door, meaning if someone is at the door it can't be OP....by giving in they're just prooving the cat right.

So according to your cat, the door is for burglars and the window is for the owner? Your cat needs to straighten its priorities.

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It's phase one in establishing total domination over this petty domicile. The bigger picture is utter annihilation of the human race in the long run, but for now, just purr and watch the puny human climb through the window.

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First they put us out by making us do ridiculous things to keep them happy. Then they /take/ us out while we sleep. A master plan, indeed.

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