Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML
Sometimes, they just do
Today, my girlfriend told me she was leaving me for another man. Devastated, I asked what he had that I didn't. Apparently, "a big penis and a stable job" mean more to her than two years of love and dedication. FML
Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend that she's too good for me, then asking if she really wants to settle for someone like me. FML
Facebook hell
Today, someone told my girlfriend that I cheated on her. I've never cheated in my life. Instead of talking to me about it, she made a big post on Facebook about what a dick I am. Pretty much all the comments went along the lines of "What a bastard." and "Ugh, men are pigs." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Fight!
Today, I told my girlfriend about a huge fight I had with my female best friend. This friend no longer wants anything to do with me, and I was obviously upset about it. Instead of being supportive, all my girlfriend said was, "Well maybe now you'll shut the fuck up about her for once." FML
No thanks
Today, my girlfriend's mother is more into me than she is. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML
Top comments
Swift4Life 13
Sorry man. That really sucks & that's a terrible thing for your mom to say.
simplyblades 10
Girlfriends a bitch. Better before than if you got married.
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Comments (78)
Swift4Life 13
Sorry man. That really sucks & that's a terrible thing for your mom to say.
Redoxx_fml 22
He should have known she was trouble when she walked in
Mauskau 36
And they're never ever ever getting back together.
Pwn17 25
She belongs with me.
Enslaved 38
"What do ya do when yo' bitch is untrue? You cut that hooker off and find someone new I need another bitch (another bitch), in my life"
OhDearBetrayal 25
He should have known that she's better known for the things that she does on the mattress.
suboy 10
Ima let you all finish, but OP had the best post of all time.
badminton 14
I'm retarded.
arodven 18
And the award for" Mother of the Year" goes to....
simplyblades 10
Girlfriends a bitch. Better before than if you got married.
xBethanyC 15
Right? Good riddance.. but really, chin up OP. Now you have a chance to find someone who ISN'T a shallow ****. :)
Benzypoop 6
How about we don't **** shame kiddies.
Shrike 24
How about we call cheating fuckfaces out on their shit, rather than trying to be all edgy by equating it to a single girl sleeping around? Unless basic ethics mean nothing to you and you think it's okay to cheat, of course.
xBethanyC 15
well idk about you, but cheating on someone is bad enough by itself, but cheating because someone doesn't have the biggest package seems shallow and slutty to me. The size of OPs junk shouldn't matter. His pencil isn't the problem, it's the bad quality paper he was writing on.
Redoxx_fml 22
He should just erase all memories of her
WhiteCrimson 23
Now that is the utter truth! She probably has recycled paper.
Twigz 4
there's a difference between a girl having a lot of sex and being labeled, and a girl having a lot of sex and hurting others, such as her boyfriend, in the process. That's called being a selfish bitch who shouldn't have been in the relationship in the first place.
just_someguy 6
you need to get a new girlfriend after burning her stuff
Redoxx_fml 22
But the bitch took it all with her
Amb3rDucki3 12
Time to find a girl who isn't so shallow. Not much to be said about about your mom. Sorry OP.
Pesticides 19
seriously, if size makes her immoral, she has been around the block a while.
shoower_fml 9
Shallow like her pussy
thrifting 18
I guess size does matter. ;)
Shadowvoid 33
Only to ******?
EpicSquishii 21
Good sex should be important to everyone. It's not like you would want to be with someone with a loose, ugly ******. Only guys with small penises blame their lack of success pleasing women on the particular woman being a ****. You see, the thing about ***** is, they're not particular. They'll screw anyone who gives them attention. Women who appreciate good sex might have a list of things they're looking for in a partner, and depending on the woman, a good-sized penis could be there. Not because she's easy, but because it feels good for her. No girl likes a tiny penis. Easy girls take what they can get.
freesitter 14
If penis size is so important to her, she should of broke up with him; instead of wasting both of their time, and cheating on him. There is never an excuse to cheat on anyone.
freesitter 14
is* and cheating on*. Hate this stupid keypad on this phone.
EpicSquishii 21
No one is debating whether she's a ***** for cheating. Obviously it's disgusting to betray your significant other. You missed the point of the thread completely. He stated that only ****** prefer larger penises to small ones. Which is a ridiculously bitter statement, and obviously born out of resentment and deflection. OR a gross misunderstanding of how female sexuality works. Apparently all good girls share the same likes and dislikes in bed lol
freesitter 14
I don't think I did misunderstand the thread. The way you worded your first comment, to me, made it seem like you were defending the ops actions. I understand that to some girls, in order to have good sex they need a man that's well endowed. But if that's the case they obviously know they are not compatible with a small guy, and should break it off before someone gets hurt.
EpicSquishii 21
No, I never referenced OPs girlfriend. I was responding only to the false statement given by 45. The girlfriend's lack of morals is blatantly obvious, but the misguided notion that women who've slept with copious amounts of men are the only ones who prefer larger partners to tiny ones... That myth is much too widespread and is only a deflection from someone's insecurity. To make yourself feel better, instead of persecuting women for their preferences (petty and sad behavior), one should just content themselves with the FACTUAL knowledge that there are some girls who truly don't mind, and even some who can't easily accept larger men because of how they're built, and in fact prefer something smaller.
Sal_G_63 5
What a coincidence that I see this after getting out of my human sexuality class... As it turns out, size doesn't actually matter. The inner 2/3 of the ****** are insensitive and if you are actually bigger than average(4-5 inches), chances are you'll be hitting the cervix, which turns a pleasurable experience into a painful one...yup, just dropped some knowledge up in here.
EpicSquishii 21
It's not about length, it's about girth. I've never met a woman who cared about their partner being "long and strong", you can't even feel what's going on deep inside a lot of the time, but if a guy has a larger circumference, you can most certainly tell the difference.
SofiaFaolan 8
I'd like to point out that there is way more to a relationship than sex, good or bad. "Good sex" doesn't have to be important to everyone. Having a loose/ugly ****** or a small penis is not a reason to not want to date someone who is otherwise compatible.
Zimmington 21
Damn, OP don't worry you'll find the right one someday. Size doesn't matter to all girls.
Pesticides 19
It doesn't matter to most girls. then there are the ones who can fit a pringles can up there...
ileenefudge 29
Move on, there is no excuse for her actions and you can do so much better than someone like that. Trust me I know, if you stay with her, she will cheat on you again because she will think it's ok.
kyletk 7
man dump them both!
redbandit9877 12
What a shallow ****, you'll find someone way better, don't worry.
olpally 33
What a **** and your mothers a bitch. Damn. Two heartless bitches right there.