BigKid
Grow up
Today, I threw a tantrum because my younger sister ate my chocolate. I'm almost 18. FML
The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs
Anonymous
Warren, United States
Don't overthink it
Today, I suddenly gained a massive burst of anxiety out of nowhere when thinking about my upcoming assessment appointments for my back and hip surgeries. I need these so I don't end up permanently crippled due to spinal stenosis and a labral tear. The worst part is that I know I'm fretting over nothing. FML
Stereotypical
São Gonçalo, Brazil
Stoned
Today, I realised I've become the background stoner character of any college movie, as I sat alone on my dorm's bed, wearing flannel over a Pac-Man shirt, and smoking weed out of a skull-shaped bong. Sorry, mom. FML
Anonymous
United States
Lost and found
Today, after I'd spent two weeks planning the perfect proposal at the aquarium, right as I got down on one knee, a little kid pointed at me and yelled, "Mom! That man dropped something!" Half the people around us started looking around for whatever I'd "lost" instead of watching the proposal. FML
FML Videos
Making New Friends
WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME
the real loser
United States
Take the L, dude
Today, I was going through different social media sites, laughing at the people from high school who’d either gotten fat or divorced or anything of the sort. Then I realized how sad it was to search out and still laugh at people from high school. I need to move on. FML
Lonely
Portland, United States
Hobby lobby
Today, I signed up for a pottery class because I wanted a relaxing hobby, but also because I saw the movie "Ghost" recently and it looked chill. My first attempt at a bowl flew off the wheel, hit a shelf, and cracked someone’s finished mug. The instructor nodded at my clay-covered hands and arms, and said, “You’ve got… energy.” FML
Anonymous
Clanker
Today, I tried to clean my keyboard by turning it upside down and shaking it. Something important apparently fell out, because now the “E” key only works if I smack it hard enough to look like I’m typing angry emails. My coworkers are concerned. FML
Turkeyfryboy
You shitgibbon!
Today, I learned to never put a just-bought-about-an-hour-ago-from-the-grocery-store frozen solid turkey in the turkey frying pot. My job’s banquet hall was burnt to a crisp and the fire department came. The Thanksgiving potluck was ruined. Oh, and I was fired. FML
Anonymous
Interesting dilemma
Today, I learned that as much as I try to save my money, it always just slips through my fingers. After rent, I got paid $280 yesterday, $85 went out on my gym membership, $95 went out on my internet, $125 went out on my Hello Fresh. I have to choose between half a tank of petrol or breakfast/lunch for the week. FML
Jeremy
New York, United States
Dress for the job you want…
Today, I bought a new shirt for a job interview and put it on just before leaving. On the train, I noticed the shop's security tag was still attached. I had to spend the entire interview trying to keep my jacket closed, wondering how I'd missed the chunk on plastic stapled to my shirt when I put it on. FML
Anonymous
Riverside, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Polycule avoided
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating again. Not wanting to lose him, I suggested we try opening our relationship and being poly. He flew into a rage and swore I was just trying to think of an excuse to get back at him by screwing a bunch of randos. I can’t win. FML
Tracy
RIP
Today, I told someone “You too” when they'd said “Sorry for your loss” after I'd mentioned that I recently lost my dog to cancer. I realized what I'd said immediately and tried to fix it by talking more, which somehow made it worse. FML
FML Videos
New York, United States
Fat Cat
He's not fat, he's just fluffy.
Anonymous
United States
Gulls on film
Today, I'd signed up for a beginner birdwatching group because I wanted a quiet hobby. Everyone stood silently in a park for 20 minutes staring into a tree. I finally saw something move and whispered, “There!” The group leader looked through his binoculars and said, “That's a plastic bag.” FML
marbles
Late bloomer
Today, my daughter continues to have acne breakouts. She’s no longer a teenager, which means she isn’t washing her face. I can’t believe I raised someone who ignores her hygiene to this point. FML
FML Videos
Moving Out
Adulting is hard... Some of us need a push!
FML Videos
Holiday Travel
Preparation is key!
Useless
Berlin, Germany
Imposter syndrome
Today, I worked hard and brought few points to an important meeting at work. All of them were dismissed almost immediately. Now I feel an impostor fraud who gets paid for nothing. FML
Anonymous
United States
Tommy Liseau
Today, I tried to seduce the girl I like by telling a joke. It turns out my delivery was so bad that she asked if I was auditioning for a new version of "The Room." FML
FML Videos
Fashion Struggles
Beauty is pain!
Anonymous
Will people notice?
Today, I put on a sock. Then another sock. When I got into public, I realized my two socks were slightly different shades of blue. FML
Cyanopica cyana, the One Jealous Urocissa Erythrorhyncha
Zhangzhou, China
Self-confidence at an all-time low
Today, I quit a group chat full of very talented people drawing, programming, creating game mods, and translating comics. I was invited because of my drawings, but I couldn't talk to them, nor could I show my talents because of the many talented people in there. I quit due to feeling inferior. I HATE my inferiority complex. FML
FML Videos
New York, United States
Puddle Jumper
Close but no cigar!
chrskr13
Soborg, Denmark
Spooked
Today, I had to sleep on couch cushions on the kitchen floor because I saw a tiny spider crawl under my bed. FML
jumpscare
Manchester, United Kingdom
Jumpy
Today, after I accidentally put my headphones through the washing machine and then drying them out, they somehow still worked, but only in one ear. I was about to accept my fate when the other side suddenly started playing audio at full volume during a quiet train ride. FML
FML Videos
Bedtime
I believe I can fly...
Fabuan
The Hangover, part 26
Today, while working from home, I was super drowsy after a heavy bar hangout with the boys. I took a call from a customer. Next thing I know, the call was no longer there. My boss called me to tell me they left a one-star review on our site, saying I fell asleep and snored mid-call. Yes, I was fired. FML
Anonymous
United States
How can I stay mad at you?
Today, I came home to find that my dog had chewed up my brand new, expensive pair of shoes. I was so angry that I yelled at him and he cowered in fear. But then, as I looked at his sad little face, it dawned on me that I was the one in the wrong for getting so upset over something materialistic. FML
Anonymous
Colorado Springs, United States
Better deal
Today, my crush would rather travel to another country to meet with someone else. FML