By workfordayzz - United States Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML I agree, your life sucks 43140 You deserved it 8906 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 2842 You deserved it 437 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML I agree, your life sucks 29419 You deserved it 13826 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lonely - United States Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 23304 You deserved it 7375 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Snotmyfault - United States Today, at the age of 22 I started eating my boogers. FML I agree, your life sucks 7551 You deserved it 49231 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EpicBunBun Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He had stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML I agree, your life sucks 5126 You deserved it 684 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jason the flasher Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML I agree, your life sucks 1314 You deserved it 2919 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AloneAtPerkins - 21/12/2020 23:04 Intense Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and it started getting heated. I climbed on top of him and took his shirt off, but I guess my brain had a different idea. I ended up clinging to him for dear life because my brain decided that now was a good time for a seizure. Mood ruined. FML I agree, your life sucks 1303 You deserved it 83 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JAdams - United States - Newkirk Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML I agree, your life sucks 29494 You deserved it 2929 211 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By milkysubstance - Australia - Brisbane Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML I agree, your life sucks 5020 You deserved it 478 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML I agree, your life sucks 48170 You deserved it 12294 167 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ash - United States Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML I agree, your life sucks 11071 You deserved it 41713 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Brookfield Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wasn't feeling our two-month relationship was up to par with his parents' 30-year marriage, and, furthermore, I wasn't similar enough to his mother. FML I agree, your life sucks 27058 You deserved it 2113 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Js2cool - United States - Fitchburg Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML I agree, your life sucks 21994 You deserved it 7076 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Unknown - United States Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML I agree, your life sucks 44831 You deserved it 7176 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 33427 You deserved it 3556 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nightsong - Germany - N?rnberg Today, I saw a ridiculously hot guy dining with his family. I decided not to flirt with him with his parents around but to ask his sister (who went to the restroom) to give him my phone number. When I came back, I saw her pointing a finger at me, and the whole family turning around and staring. FML I agree, your life sucks 13308 You deserved it 19252 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I went into work to set up a new store. There was a lot of lifting so I dressed casual. This happened to be the day the owner brought in his conservative family to check out the store. I was wearing a shirt that says "everyone poops" and has a donkey and elephant pooping. FML I agree, your life sucks 16314 You deserved it 60226 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By insultedguy - Netherlands Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: "Look who got even fatter." FML I agree, your life sucks 34175 You deserved it 4404 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Vietnam Today, I finally had the confidence to show my girlfriend my hairy chest/stomach. I'm very self conscious about it, and get embarrassed easily. She said I looked disgusting, called me Chewbacca and broke up with me on the spot. FML I agree, your life sucks 48176 You deserved it 7125 264 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By badmom - 2/8/2020 02:02 Zoom this, bitches! Today, my younger son was doing a Zoom meeting for his upcoming school orientation. I tried to hold it in, but I stepped away for a moment to run to the restroom. My older son thought it’d be a hilarious "prank" to moon the camera. School hasn’t even started and we're already the "problem family". FML I agree, your life sucks 1332 You deserved it 199 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By screwed - United States Today, my mom asked me if I was crying because my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. That wasn't why I was crying. My mom knows things before I do. FML I agree, your life sucks 54920 You deserved it 3056 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cameraman - Israel Today, I got a reply from a women who's SD card I found 2 months ago and tried to give back. Yesterday I formatted it. FML I agree, your life sucks 3278 You deserved it 719 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By skyphoenix - United States Today, I went on a trip with some people from work to watch a baseball game. Halfway through the game, one of my managers shook my hand and said "Nice to Meet You." I've been working there for 3 months. FML I agree, your life sucks 29147 You deserved it 4510 137 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 12/1/2021 20:01 Red flag Today, I tried therapy to talk about my problems without feeling like i am harassing anyone. After messaging a therapist for over 2 hours, I felt way better and finally understood. It turned out I'm in such a bad mental state that I'm a danger to myself and others. Police were called by the therapist. FML I agree, your life sucks 1018 You deserved it 210 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sorehead - Canada Today, I was walking down the street hand in hand with my girlfriend. I couldn't help but stare at a gorgeous girl as she bent down to pick something up. It was such a great sight, I didn't notice the metal telephone pole directly in my path. FML I agree, your life sucks 12377 You deserved it 102234 413 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shilpajayseanfan - Canada Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML I agree, your life sucks 23204 You deserved it 54432 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Liverpool Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML I agree, your life sucks 36880 You deserved it 4111 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Belgium Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML I agree, your life sucks 31422 You deserved it 2875 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ACAB - Australia Officer McGiggles Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML I agree, your life sucks 1405 You deserved it 193 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bob H. - Canada - Qu?bec Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML I agree, your life sucks 38467 You deserved it 5357 144 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pissedchick Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. We're in the middle of nowhere and have a 4-hour drive home. FML I agree, your life sucks 1789 You deserved it 103 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Awkward - United States - Albuquerque Today, I was caller number nine on the radio, meaning I technically won the contest. I was too awkward, so they hung up on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 20681 You deserved it 4609 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By keenan - United States Today, I had to use my driver's license to convince the security guard at a game room that I was a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 32935 You deserved it 5175 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Eminnis - United States - Woodland Park Today, I walked in on my dad completely naked. When I expressed my displeasure, he told me to knock next time. I'd agree with him, if he hadn't been standing in the middle of the hallway in our very open living room. FML I agree, your life sucks 24177 You deserved it 1665 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By You're Not a Wizard Today, I earned the nickname of "Harry Potter" for all the wrong reasons. I got locked in a storage cupboard for most of my shift, and couldn't get out. FML I agree, your life sucks 14116 You deserved it 1422 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By goner - United States Today, my wife and I decided it would be funny to pull a prank on her family who we were going to see for dinner. I hid in the foyer while she went in and announced to her parents that she was leaving me. I watched as her mother hugged her daughter and cried "Finally..." FML I agree, your life sucks 70138 You deserved it 21493 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mrmidi - United States Today, I learned two important facts: #1 A grown man can, in fact, get beaten up by a teenage girl, and #2 If someone is convinced you are someone else, there is no telling them otherwise. FML I agree, your life sucks 32385 You deserved it 4267 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PghSportsNation - United States Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML I agree, your life sucks 27433 You deserved it 4341 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By popeye - United States Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 24024 You deserved it 5325 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I found out that my cross-dressing father and my recently deceased mother were having a much more "open" relationship then they'd let on, when the... I agree, your life sucks 36 You deserved it 6 0 Comments
Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent... I agree, your life sucks 650 You deserved it 139 4 Comments