Today, my brother spent the whole day making a harpoon out of an old Tiki torch to bring on vacation with us to Sauble Beach, and he plans on using this contraption. On the beach. With all of us there to watch. He's 17 years-old. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my brother asked to borrow a hammer, a chisel, and a drill just in case. I asked him if he was finally getting round to starting work on his apartment. Nope, he was just going to crack open a coconut he'd bought at the supermarket. FML
Today, my 16-year-old brother once again scored well at a local archery competition. He got home and, once again, unleashed his "spectacular aim" at the toilet - or rather the toilet seat and surrounding floor. He refuses to clean the bathroom we share every single time he does this. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML
Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML
Today, I fell down a hill out of my hammock, which broke my phone screen and my sunglasses. My idiot brother launched me out of it, so he could "assert his dominance." He's 11. FML
Today, we went to disperse my father's ashes in his favorite lake. My brother was anxious to show off to his new wife, and took us to a fancy resort on the lake. He fell into the lake with my dad's ashes. Nobody laughed when he got out. Oh and as he's a stingy ass, I ended up paying for the trip. FML
Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML
Today, my brother bamboozled me out of 20$. He's 12 years-old, and I'm 17. FML
Today, I'm on vacation. I spent $4000 to surprise my boyfriend on a trip to Hawaii. We have been together over a year. Turns out, he hates the outdoors. He's mad at me for bringing him here and is upset at everything. He's in the room reading, I'm at the bar drinking $10 Mai Tai's. FML
Today, my seemingly innocent younger brother showed our family a video of what he was doing last night when he skipped New Student Orientation. He's been in college all of 48 hours and he's already joined a fight club. FML
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Top comments
Inkoseh 31
Who gives a shit? Let him have fun and do whatever he wants. It's your's AND his vacation. I'd love it if I wasn't berated for doing something different and interesting in my free time!
RichardPencil 30
Just call him Ishmael and have a whale of a good time! Shut your blowhole and don't be a Moby Dick.
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Comments (10)
Inkoseh 31
Who gives a shit? Let him have fun and do whatever he wants. It's your's AND his vacation. I'd love it if I wasn't berated for doing something different and interesting in my free time!
RichardPencil 30
Just call him Ishmael and have a whale of a good time! Shut your blowhole and don't be a Moby Dick.
Bevis Butthead 4
At least your parents don't need to worry about him getting laid... ever.
zoelog 10
and.....im not understanding the problem.
QueenSaru 28
I want to know what he thinks he's going to be able to harpoon at Sauble Beach of all places...
jbuckets_404 38
OP, that was YOUR group that day at the beach?! It was hilarious! Correct, your bro's a doofus. But still lovable. LOL!
Tiffani Carter 6
Well there have been a lot of shark sightings at beaches here this summer. Maybe he’s just trying to protect his family.
E2dav 5
Is he actually wanting to try and harpoon a whale? or just acting it out? The former would make me think he needs help...but the latter means enrol him in drama classes already
wrenavery90 12
And???? I say good for him. Sounds like fun.