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The all-time greatest FMLs

By Anonymous - 25/08/2017 05:45 - Indonesia - Bali

Today, whilst on holiday in Bali, I set off on my way to the day spa for 4 hours of much-needed relaxation. I tripped about a meter away from the entrance and broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 587

You deserved it 305

By Anonymous - 17/08/2018 14:30

Today, I called my boyfriend and a woman answered. Turns out, she's also his girlfriend. She broke up with me on his behalf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 582

You deserved it 226

By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 23:15

Today, I was blaring the radio to drown out the sound of the kids in the apartment upstairs. They then started jumping in time with the music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 582

You deserved it 832

By RectalSteve - 10/09/2017 20:00 - United Kingdom - Belfast

Today, I showed my girlfriend some old home videos of me as a kid. My dad must have taped over one though, because halfway through it cut to extremely graphic footage of his colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 582

You deserved it 288

By Tupac - 18/10/2017 05:00

Today, I got a new title at work. My boss hyped it up and made it sound amazing, so I accepted. Come to find out it pays 20k less a year and is twice as much work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 579

You deserved it 1 747

By Bibi - 23/09/2018 12:00

Today, I went to my little brother's high school to speak to his counselor about his grades. On my way to the office, the office manager threatened to write me up for ditching class and told me that high school is not like middle school, 9th grade will be different. I graduated 5 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 579

You deserved it 249

By GodMemory_AbsentMind - 21/03/2017 18:00

Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 578

You deserved it 5 119

By treehouse - 23/08/2017 13:00

Today, my family and I were going to start moving into our old house, and the large two hundred year old tree decided to move in too... through the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 576

You deserved it 210

By pechfogl - 26/08/2017 21:45 - Austria

Today, I got my period while spray tanning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 575

You deserved it 546

Like riding a bike

By XxrudyxX - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - Canada - Fort Saskatchewan

Today, my garage got broken into and someone stole my $3000 bike. I bought it a month ago while I recovered from a knee injury. I just got enough strength 2 days ago to ride it. I've only ridden it once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 571

You deserved it 313

By Misskittygal14 - 16/11/2017 15:00

Today, I decided to go through my younger brother's browser history. I found out he goes regularly on PornHub. He's only 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 570

You deserved it 1 177

By Ohgodhelpme - 25/10/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend bought me a vibrator for my birthday. Sounds sweet, right? Then he invited my 10/14-year-old cousins to our house. They surprised me in my room. While I was using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 570

You deserved it 788

By Blah - 02/08/2018 05:00

Today, I learned that my (ex) boyfriend has a breastfeeding fetish. How did I learn this? I found him sneaking pictures of my breastfeeding sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 569

You deserved it 274

By Tbelle - 25/10/2017 19:00

Today, my brother texted me a picture of his "upcoming disconnect" notice for his utility bill and asked if I could loan him the money to pay it. All I could give him was a picture of my "disconnected" notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 451

By Rebecca2135 - 01/10/2018 22:05

Today, I gave a speech at a charity fundraiser. I didn't realize how close I was standing to the fan, which automatically went on. As soon as I said, "this is why you should pledge," my dress flew up. I then learned how quickly phones can take pictures and emails of my underwear can be sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 357

Captain Hook

By Kortnie Peterman - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my boyfriend and I found out my Nuva ring comes out quite easily, especially when he manages to hook it around the tip of his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 567

You deserved it 615

By DoubleTrouble - 16/10/2018 17:30 - India

Today, I got into a huge fight with a 6’3” 200 lb guy over my girlfriend of a month, who he claims to have been dating for 2 months. I'm 6’1” myself, but I’m not jacked at all. My girlfriend stood there watching us fight, and revealed at the end that she has a twin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 566

You deserved it 379

By Grace - 17/10/2018 03:00

Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 565

You deserved it 1 390

By Cheesey_Dorito - 28/09/2018 15:30

Today, it has been 57 hours since I have last had food. The fridge is empty. The freezer is empty. The pantry is empty. Even my bank account is empty because my pay has been delayed. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 565

You deserved it 236

By Sady_Ct - 17/11/2018 19:07 - Australia

Today, I accidentally bought an audio book through iBooks for $40 AUD. I'm deaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 564

You deserved it 478

Sady_Ct tells us more.

Sady_Ct 37

Saturday 17 November 2018 3:59

I do know what an audio book is. I thought I clicked on the ebook and only after I went to open it did I realise it wasn’t an Ebook but an audio book. They didn’t have the same title in the ebook. I got a refund after a couple of days.

By atleastwedidntdie - 02/09/2017 23:15

Today, I was supposed to be sipping margaritas on a beach in Mexico. Too bad we only made it 37 miles before getting in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 563

You deserved it 303

By Anonymous - 08/09/2018 01:30

Today, I was called a "disabled buzzkill" for not letting someone pet my service dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 563

You deserved it 252

By bigvic780 - 27/10/2017 01:30

Today, I fulfilled a lifelong dream by attending a Dallas Cowboys football game. Our sitter fell through at the last minute so I took my five-year-old son instead of my wife. We had to leave after the first quarter because he threw up everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 563

You deserved it 812

By LittleGina - 04/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Benson

Today, a woman was standing in front of me in line. There was a strand of hair on her back, so to be nice, I pulled it off her. It was still attached to her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 563

You deserved it 7 824

Meth: Not Even Once

By Anonymous - 26/08/2017 03:45 - Singapore

Today, I had to sit beside this crazy man on the bus. After trying to ignore his ranting about being the Messiah, he suddenly stood up and cursed me as Satan, loudly screaming that he won't be tempted by my devilish ways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 562

You deserved it 272

By Why Charlie!? WHY!? - 09/08/2018 13:00

Today, I woke up seeing my neighbor's 5-year-old daughter next to me. She said good morning and handed me a note from her dad saying that I owe him and he's cashing in. So, I'm babysitting as her parents escape to the Bahamas for 2 weeks. My annual 2 weeks vacation starts today too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 562

You deserved it 400

By crawforda350 - 12/09/2017 16:00

Today, while stocking up in preparation for Hurricane Irma, an old lady hit me over the head with her walker. She wanted the loaf of bread I'd grabbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 562

You deserved it 276

By ShinyLadybird15 - 09/11/2017 00:30 - United Kingdom

Today, while shopping, I tried on a beautiful knee-length dress. It looked amazing and I decided to buy it, until the time came to take it off. A jammed zip meant 15 minutes of tugging before the manager cut me free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 561

You deserved it 350

By lifeis4me - 24/09/2018 22:38

Today, I found out that even though I’m a wonderful singer, my choir teacher gave me a B in the class because I didn’t have “enough facial expression”. I got marked down for a resting bitch face without a warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 560

You deserved it 398

lifeis4me tells us more.

lifeis4me 20

Sunday 23 September 2018 9:59

OP here. Yeah, I understand that facial expression is part of being a performer. My problem was that she never said anything to me before (no warning). Also, there’s a bunch of my peers don’t sing at all or they’re just playing/laughing, yet they have A’s