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The all-time greatest FMLs

By cincity - 20/07/2018 15:00

Today, my fiancé forgot his wallet. He realized this once we were 5 hours away from home, before checking into a hotel, that had reservations under his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 496

You deserved it 336

By hotmama - 06/10/2018 22:05

Today, I just hit 41 weeks pregnant. Today is also the day my AC decided to die. I live in Florida, where it's hot WITH the AC on. This is gonna be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 495

You deserved it 288

wolfygirl626 tells us more.

wolfygirl626 8

Saturday 6 October 2018 6:29

op here! i submitted this two weeks ago and every thing is fine now, did get induced about four days later. since this is my first baby, it was expected of me to go over the due date :P we're both happy, healthy, and chilling with the new window ac.

Sneaky sneaky...

By Snowflakepandi - 01/09/2017 13:00

Today, while on vacation, I found out that my boyfriend moved out. He had claimed that he couldn't come with me because his boss messed up his time off request, and for the last two days he said he'd been "cleaning". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 494

You deserved it 317

Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew!

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 11:30 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was writing an essay while sleep-deprived. In between actually writing, I started typing my thoughts. It was only after I’d submitted the essay that I realized that I hadn’t deleted the random words. My teacher can see my early-morning rambling about potatoes. I have no way to delete it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 492

You deserved it 1 604

By Kilamo - 14/05/2018 20:30

Today, I told my mom I had 73 cents in my checking account. She gave me a penny and told me I had 74 cents and it was even now. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 492

You deserved it 906

By Xandar - 09/11/2018 17:30

Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 490

You deserved it 529

Freaky...

By shinra - 18/07/2018 20:30

Today, it's the third time in a row that I've woken myself up in the middle of the night by pouring freezing cold water on myself. I didn’t even have water on my nightstand last night. I woke up in the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 490

You deserved it 306

Up to date

By miji - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, for the fifth time in a row, my parents tried to discuss my pooping habits with me at the dinner table. This time, we had guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 489

You deserved it 294

By tori210 - 15/08/2017 16:00

Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 488

You deserved it 717

Invasion

By Aaaaahhhhhhhh - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home to carpenter ants coming out from under my baseboards. I went out and bought bait traps and now there are flying ants coming out of the woodwork. If I try to sleep, they crawl on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 487

You deserved it 244

By Jimmy Joe - 08/09/2017 20:00

Today, I went to Houston to help with hurricane relief and to donate supplies. Later, I realized that I'd accidentally donated a bag that had my brand new truck keys in it. I've been waiting for 5 hours already to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 487

You deserved it 911

By Jjh99q - 03/10/2017 22:30 - United States

Today, I stayed until 11 PM washing, wiping, and mopping up the entire restaurant. I forgot to clock in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 483

You deserved it 693

By DosSantos - 03/08/2017 00:30

Today, I returned from a trip to Budapest with more condoms than I had brought with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 483

You deserved it 974

By Fuckkkk - 20/10/2018 14:00 - Australia - Port Melbourne

Today, my fiancée and I saw my parents at a store. This would've been a nice surprise if it wasn't a sex shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 483

You deserved it 480

By ARGHHHH - 04/10/2018 05:00

Today, my mom ordered my birthday presents on eBay. Too bad she used my account, so when I went to look for ideas, everything she bought me popped up. It's so much stuff I don't want, need, or will ever use, and it's on my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 482

You deserved it 365

By tiredInMD - 12/07/2017 18:39 - United States - Pasadena

Today, after retyping a 22-page report for work because the orginal had gone missing, i realized I had used a different laptop the first time. I now have 2 copies of the same report, both of which are late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 482

You deserved it 2 125

By EmbarrassedBigSister - 19/08/2018 05:00 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I went out for the afternoon leaving my younger brother at home. He's never had a girlfriend, which I always put down to him being shy and a little overweight. Well, I came home early to walk in on him taking it up the arse from his uni buddy. Off the charts awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 482

You deserved it 571

By Gibs - 17/05/2017 21:00 - Brazil

Today, in my first month at the gym, I was running on the treadmill when my washcloth fell to the floor. Without thinking much, I bent down to get it, lost my balance and took the biggest fall. I no longer have the courage to go there, and I already paid a biannual package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 481

You deserved it 1 427

By Calimero0o - 03/08/2018 15:00 - Netherlands - Heerhugowaard

Today, the first day in nearly a year that I had completely to myself, I booked a spa day and a massage. Just after I arrived at the spa, the daycare center called. The baby had a fever and needed to be picked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 481

You deserved it 319

By Anonymous - 09/09/2018 14:30

Today, based on recent x-rays, I have the right knee of a 60-year-old, the left knee of a 70-year-old, and the right hip joint of a 100-year-old who's been dead for 15 years. I'm only 19 years old and my doctor says I'm gonna need two walking sticks by the time I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 481

You deserved it 181

By college student - 23/04/2017 10:00 - United States - College Park

Today, at 12, I went for a run across campus. Why? I'd realized my 12:30 exam was actually at 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 480

You deserved it 1 424

By off the family - 17/06/2018 20:30

Today, my daughter apparently has had enough of my mother-in-law's favoritism and constant bashing of me by telling her, "Grandma, might I highly recommend death at this point?" She's 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 478

You deserved it 405

By XanderFierce - 29/06/2018 09:30 - Australia - Camperdown

Today, my favourite vibrator got a good thrashing. Unfortunately, it was by my cat, who tore it to shreds. I guess she disapproves of my choice of leisure activities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 478

You deserved it 753

Great advice

By Dulok Warrior Princess - 10/09/2018 19:30 - United States - New York

Today, at gym class, coach placed the boys on an "advanced level" rope climb by having a girl cling on their back. I got paired with my crush. As he climbed, we were trailing behind so I cheered for him to go faster. He loudly responded, "Why don't you go on a diet!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 477

You deserved it 774

Treat yourself

By Anonymous - 10/10/2018 15:30

Today, my fiancée bought me a luxury getaway to the Maldives, complete with a five-star hotel and first-class plane tickets. Too bad she used my credit card, with all the money I was saving for our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 476

You deserved it 353

By Anonymous - 01/11/2017 20:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I woke up duct-taped to the toilet in nothing but a straitjacket. I don't remember what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 473

You deserved it 2 048

By Anonymous - 09/11/2018 04:00 - Bulgaria - Plovdiv

Today, my girlfriend and I went hiking in the mountains. She didn't tell me that she had packed meat to cook in my bag. About two hours after we set out, a wolf attacked me but I pepper sprayed it and it ran off. After that my girlfriend looked at me and said "You didn't have to hurt the doggy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 473

You deserved it 358

By Anonymous - 14/11/2018 14:00

Today, the lady in front of me in the checkout line had a pacifier hanging around her neck, but I didn't think much of it until it was time for her to pay. She reacted to the $250 total by crying like a baby and very loudly asking me to put the pacifier in her mouth to calm her down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 473

You deserved it 225

By Anonymous - 03/09/2017 20:00

Today, while eating s'mores with my boyfriend's family, I misplaced my false tooth. With a team of flashlights and hurt pride, my expensive tooth was found. In dog shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 473

You deserved it 490

Friends like these…

By LonelyOtter - 11/12/2018 14:00

Today, one of my female friends decided she wants a relationship with my ex. I told her I was fine with it because we've been apart for years and have been friends ever since. She then made him chose between being friends with me and having her as a girlfriend. I just lost two of my few friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 472

You deserved it 281

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. As we waited for our food he took my hand and said, "I think we should break up." When I got outside, my tire was flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 068

You deserved it 1 393

Today, a woman pulled out in front me and I couldn't avoid hitting her. When we pulled off on the side of the road to inspect the damage, she backed into me. My car is only a month old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 136

You deserved it 158

Today, I'm so out of shape that my arm ached after lifting chips out of a Lays bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 1 217

Today, I learned that the windows in my flat will be removed and then replaced with new ones. This would be very good, if it wasn't for the ongoing removal of the asbestos insulation in the very same flat. I guess the administration will pay less for scaffolding this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 144

Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 478

You deserved it 23 868

Today, I discovered that I don't have enough financial aid to continue going to college past this semester. I'm one semester away from graduating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 391

You deserved it 1 927