Today, without context, I overheard my daughter saying that she would “literally rather have mercury poisoning than have her mother yell at her one more time.” She’s 24. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed my daughter’s bathroom was dusty, so I screamed at her for keeping the bathroom in unacceptable condition. She had a panic attack and has been crying for the past week. She’s 24. FML
Today, my daughter apparently has had enough of my mother-in-law's favoritism and constant bashing of me by telling her, "Grandma, might I highly recommend death at this point?" She's 7. FML
Today, I overheard my mother saying that it is “physically painful” for her not to be mean to me. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, I was feeling depressed. I overheard my mom crying on the phone. She said, “If my daughter kills herself, who’s going to do the dishes?” FML
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML
TToday, my daughter was hungover, so to teach her a lesson I started banging a pot next to her ear. An hour later, we’re in hospital. She wasn’t hungover; she hadn’t even been drinking. Her migraine was a huge aneurism one sneeze away from bursting and killing her instantly. I’m a terrible dad. FML
Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML
Today, my daughter confidently told me that I’m not allowed to ignore her when she’s sulking on purpose. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. Clearly this child has spent too long listening to my ex-wife and her coven of brain-dead cackling witches, AKA her mother and aunties. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CowgirlWithHeart 16
Being 24 doesn't mean she can't hate being yelled at. 🤷
Doom_Kitty 14
It's kinda disrespecting to yell at an adult. I mean...it's also disrespecting against a child but they are annoying and also need to learn the uselessness of yelling. But yelling at an adult is just inefficient communication and never helps.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (8)
CowgirlWithHeart 16
Being 24 doesn't mean she can't hate being yelled at. 🤷
Doom_Kitty 14
It's kinda disrespecting to yell at an adult. I mean...it's also disrespecting against a child but they are annoying and also need to learn the uselessness of yelling. But yelling at an adult is just inefficient communication and never helps.
weirdncrazy 25
You can’t tell your daughter that you dont agree with things or aren’t happy with things without yelling?
RichardPencil 32
She needs to be yelled at for her poor usage of "literally." Also, what a weird disease to choose. Mercury poisoning is usually a slow, chronic and progressive disease that occurs over years.
Plop 17
Would you she rather have asked for hexavalent chromium poisoning instead?
RichardPencil 32
No, that's slow, too. Food poisoning would be better as it happens quickly and has relatable symptoms.
Royal Sataness 4
why are you even yelling at your adult daughter? even if she lives at home she should be communicated with and respected as an adult
Vesi 30
She should be respected as a human beanbag. no matter their age. I have no idea why parents thing yelling at and/or hitting kids is ok. They are their own persons, not mini-mes parents can treat any way they want.
QueenSaru 28
I'm going to assume 'human beanbag' was an autocorrect but thank you so much for the best laugh I needed today. Also, beanbag or not, you are correct. Yelling at adults serves no purpose and never solves the issue on the table anyway.
Vesi 30
Holy cannoli.. yeah that was supposed to be *being* OMG.. what a funny autocorrect!!
Vesi 30
Holy cannoli.. yeah that was supposed to be "being" but what a funny autocorrect! =)
lizardlover95 7
if my mom yelled at me (26 years old) like a toddler I think I would be more upset by the disrespect to not be treated like an adult than by whatever the conflict was.