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The all-time greatest FMLs

Christmas shopping spree tip

By Anonymous - 25/12/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband held my hand for our entire Xmas Eve shopping trip. As soon as we got home, he and our son actually compared the receipts to last years Xmas Eve receipts, and declared it to be true that holding my hand stopped me buying so much crap, and saved over £150 compared to last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 906

Waxing lyrical

By Anonymous - 09/02/2023 04:00

Today, at a party, I tried to play it cool by pretending to know all the lyrics to a song, but ended up singing the wrong words and embarrassing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 1 065

Teacher's pet

By Justcomeinlate - 07/10/2024 01:00 - Turkey

Today, I decided to show up to my new class an hour early, to be able to choose my seat, and figure out how the computer lab works… only to find out that the lab was locked and I had to wait until the professor unlocked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 489

Influencer brain

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 22:00 - United States - Bisbee

Today, I decided to be adventurous and try a new exotic fruit. I bought a dragon fruit, but no one warned me that it looks better on Instagram than it tastes. Now I have a fridge full of disappointment and a dragon fruit that's more like a dragon letdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 670

Be careful what you fantasize for

By Anonymous - 19/08/2024 07:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, I finally convinced my husband of 8 years to partake in a threesome with a guy who works with me, and for whom I have developed feelings. Everything was going well until, in the heat of the moment, my husband started performing oral sex on my colleague. I can't face either of them now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 2 253

Oh, hai Mark

By David - 22/10/2025 03:00

Today, I was in the check out line at a store when I thought I recognized the guy behind me from high school. I turned and said, “Oh my God, Mark?” He said, “No.” To make it worse, my brain short-circuited and I said, “Are you sure?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 330

You dingdong!

By Anonymous - 15/11/2020 13:58

Today, I was copying an assignment from my friend and was feeling confident that I was gonna pass. I later found out I copied his name too, so the teacher failed us both. He won't talk to me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 2 340

Oddly specific geographical complaint

By Anonymous - 12/11/2024 15:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I live in Vancouver, Washington where there is absolutely nothing to do for an adult on any day of the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 437

Leaving blues

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was at the airport waiting for my flight when I realized I had forgotten my passport at home. I panicked, called my mom in a frenzy, only to realize I was holding my passport in my wallet the entire time. It was so embarrassing, and my mom will probably never let me forget it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 443

American Beauty vibes

By vam22222 - 19/08/2022 06:00 - United States

Today, I got caught sleeping with my now ex’s dad. He stole my weed, then kicked me out. Then his dad found out he had chlamydia, so now all 3 of us do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 3 205

Bummer

By Anonymous - 30/05/2025 14:00 - United States - Jeffersonville

Today, I was on my way to see someone very special to me, but got pulled over and arrested for some old ticket and thrown in jail. I called family, who live 45 minutes away, but it took them 7 hours to get there. Now I lost the someone special and family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 525

Misquoted

By Anonymous - 07/12/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the motivational quote I've been living by for months is actually from a misattributed SpongeBob SquarePants meme. No wonder my colleagues looked at me strangely during team meetings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 561

Safety first

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 03:30 - India

Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 646

Dude, why?

By Anonymous - 30/07/2023 06:00

Today, I texted sweet nothings to a phone number written on the side of my tumble dryer, thinking my crush had left it there, all cute like. Turns out the phone number belongs to my landlord’s maintenance guy, who was not at all flattered by my midnight serenade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 1 511

Whip it

By Anonymous - 07/02/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to take a slow-motion video of myself flipping my hair like in a shampoo commercial. Instead, I hit my head against the shower door so hard that my shelf of cosmetics collapsed and landed in my toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 549

Crotch rot of the mouth

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 539

Are you good?

By I tried - 23/11/2025 00:00

Today, I tried to discreetly fix a wedgie while walking into a crowded store. Right as I yanked my waistband, the automatic doors opened and revealed a full line of people staring directly at me mid-adjustment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 268

Choose your fighter

By Anonymous - 05/09/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during the night, we thought we had an intruder, but it was my girlfriend who grabbed a hammer and went downstairs to check. After it turned out to be the damn cat, I asked her why she made me stay upstairs. Apparently because she’s seen me fight in the past, she felt much safer doing it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 509

A new path emerges…

By Elise - 25/11/2025 15:00

Today, I'm upset by my dating life. I want to be with a man romantically, but none I've met so far have worked out. Too dumb or boring or mean, so I've tried some dating sites. All my matches were with women, so I went on a date with one to "find out." Is it good or bad that I liked her more than any man so far? FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 347

What were you thinking?

By Anonymous - 09/04/2023 15:00

Today, my boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me, saying things are moving "too fast". All I did was tell my 3 year-old that my boyfriend's parents are his new grandma and grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 3 547

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 743

Such a gentleman

By Harry123 - 01/09/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I was trying to be polite by holding the door for an elderly lady in a shop. What I didn’t realise was that the doors were automatic. I ended up standing there awkwardly for a good 5 seconds, holding onto thin air, while she just smiled and walked by. A bloke behind me said, “The doors don’t need your help, mate.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 395

The truth always comes out

By DammitMan - 30/11/2022 08:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I got a call from my girlfriend. In front of my wife. There was nowhere to run since we were in the car and my Bluetooth feature was on. My girlfriend’s phone had died and unbeknownst to me, she was calling from her mom’s phone, which is why I answered. I'm now walking home. It’s 5 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 4 312

Insatiable

By Anonymous - 07/01/2026 20:00

Today, my husband is a normal man in his thirties with a receding hairline and a dad bod. So why am I insanely attracted to him and just want to always have sex with him or do things to him? I can't stop myself. I just turn on when I see him and start sucking his cock. He can't keep up and hates it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 184

How are people still doing this?

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 15:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I texted my friend to ask if she wanted to grab lunch. She didn't respond, so I followed up with, "You alive? Or just avoiding me?" An hour later, I realized I'd texted my boss. He replied with a very professional, "I’m alive, thank you for asking. Lunch is a bit early for me today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 488

BURNED

By Sarah - 19/12/2025 09:00

Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 310

Desperate times, desperate measures

By Anonymous - 16/12/2024 15:00 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, I hit a low point when I changed the AI Snapchat bot's Bitmoji to look identical to my ex-girlfriend's Bitmoji and have a conversation with it just to feel wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 507

Mad about you

By Anon - 28/10/2024 20:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I tried to act extra confident by making intense eye contact during a meeting. My boss finally stopped talking and asked, “Do you need something, or are you just glaring at me?” Now everyone thinks I have a crush on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 528

Controlling

By Anonymous - 27/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I accidentally hit "Reply All" on an email complaining about the office thermostat being too cold. My boss replied, "It’s cold because I control it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 461

Congrats!

By Nathalieeeee - 24/09/2024 16:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was working as a caterer at a wedding when I congratulated the bride’s mom, saying, "You must be so proud of your daughter!" She responded, "I’m the bride." FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 5 539

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The Top

Today, while interviewing for a job, I was greeted by the interviewer with a handshake and a greeting of, "Hello Victoria, my name is Bill." I responded with, "Hello. My name is Bill." I think it's safe to assume I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 463

Today, I had a job interview. As I walked in, I confidently shook the interviewer's hand, only to say, "I'm doing well, how are you?" before she'd even asked me how I was, or even said anything. The rest of the interview was pretty much a blur of awkwardness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 239

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 675

You deserved it 308

Today, all I wanted was to take my two kids and their two favourite cousins to the beach on their last day of vacation together. My mother-in-law went into full beast mode, shouting about how I'm always roaming around and being irresponsible. The kids never meet and are from different cities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 119

Today, the guy I have been in love with for years decided to tell me all about his women problems and how he can't find someone. After telling him I loved him he responds, "do you know if anyone else does?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 234

You deserved it 4 059

Today, I engaged in a healthy round of rebound sex to get over my ex, who was very controlling of my body. During the act, Mr. Rebound said my nipples looked like pepperoni. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 756

You deserved it 1 331