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Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML

#19731435
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19072) - you deserved it (6154)

On 06/04/2012 at 6:13am - love - by Ladycakes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

#14658044
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19069) - you deserved it (41813)

On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML

#1499
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19065) - you deserved it (1740)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

#5003582
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19063) - you deserved it (30920)

On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was on the bus, when the inspector asked to see my ticket. I couldn't find it, and ended up being kicked off the bus while a few of the other passengers jeered at me. I found my ticket on the long walk home, buried in my pocket. FML

#19288997
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19062) - you deserved it (3998)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by fuck the fucking cops (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

#11322556
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19057) - you deserved it (28812)

On 06/20/2010 at 12:11am - health - by LoveYouTooMa (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

#18888534
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19057) - you deserved it (6870)

On 01/23/2012 at 6:27am - health - by Dutchee - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

#62325
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19055) - you deserved it (48966)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

#20425068
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19048) - you deserved it (25042)

On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19043) - you deserved it (4314)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

#20133872
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19042) - you deserved it (2683)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend's guinea pig managed to go down her shirt. I have been dating her for 3 weeks and I haven't even kissed her yet. FML

#6301
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19041) - you deserved it (39585)

On 02/03/2009 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by Merdoc (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML

#8479975
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19041) - you deserved it (8618)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:58pm - misc - by moobysrocks - United States



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