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Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17800) - you deserved it (51627)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I lied to a group of 8 year olds about having a boyfriend. FML

#12049549
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17797) - you deserved it (27681)

On 07/22/2010 at 7:08pm - love - by jennavankirk - United States

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make me feel better. FML

#7696686
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17794) - you deserved it (5642)

On 01/30/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by virgo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML

#915602
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17783) - you deserved it (53142)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by effingawwesome (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML

#19588733
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17782) - you deserved it (3839)

On 05/07/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a playing test in orchestra, which I've pracriced over 30 hours for. After I played my part, which I thought I did very well, my teacher asked how much I had practice. Trying to show off, I said "Oh, just 30 minutes." My teacher said "It shows, that was terrible." She was serious. FML

#982369
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17780) - you deserved it (54361)

On 04/15/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I said thanks to a man who got up for me in the bus. He angrily said "no, not you!". The old lady who sat down is now staring at me. FML

#439
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17775) - you deserved it (6597)

On 12/03/2008 at 12:04am - misc - by pam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went indoor rock climbing. After finally making it to the top, my pants ripped on my last move. I wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

#21412970
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17846) - you deserved it (15321)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, as I left work for the parking lot, I noticed two full trashbags duct-taped to my car. They were marked as my property. According to the note left on my windshield, my ex-roommate thought he'd be kind enough to bring my things to me to save me the trip. FML

Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML

#18229503
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17765) - you deserved it (5342)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML

#19684579
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17765) - you deserved it (2794)

On 05/26/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by Dom - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

#19682010
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17762) - you deserved it (4079)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by MALICEG - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17760) - you deserved it (2558)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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