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Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML

#20682540
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21121) - you deserved it (38184)

On 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by paper towel virgin - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

#19748698
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21120) - you deserved it (3409)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:00am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I met someone with the same name as me for the first time ever. I'm 20 years old, he is 97. FML

#467
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21118) - you deserved it (4196)

On 12/08/2008 at 3:46am - misc - by Heyhey - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

#20016514
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21118) - you deserved it (2111)

On 08/12/2012 at 5:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

#21454240
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21118) - you deserved it (1799)

On 08/10/2015 at 10:32am - misc - by lvegadelgado_6 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

#8246402
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21116) - you deserved it (3533)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML

#16301661
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21116) - you deserved it (35085)

On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by why me -

Today, I went to the beach with a friend. We'd forgotten to get our towels out of the SUV, so I rushed back to the parking lot. I opened the passenger-side door and climbed in to begin my search. After ten seconds or so, I realized I'd busted into someone else's car. FML

#19954637
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (6447)

On 07/18/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML

#19755806
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21114) - you deserved it (3476)

On 06/08/2012 at 3:45pm - misc - by hackshack (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML

#21458628
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (4869)

On 08/20/2015 at 9:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21109) - you deserved it (17497)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

#8292410
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21108) - you deserved it (4563)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Floof (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, someone I used to know got in touch with me, after I hadn't heard from him in years. He insisted that we met up as soon as possible, and wanted me to go to his house that afternoon. I spent the afternoon repairing his computer. Since then, no news. FML

#617
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21103) - you deserved it (2642)

On 12/28/2008 at 4:50am - misc - by maxiflouf - Sent from mobile version



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