Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML

#8622338
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17812) - you deserved it (5258)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:57pm - work - by Herman - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out the hard way that it is possible to sunburn the soles of your feet. FML

#19628540
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17808) - you deserved it (4513)

On 05/15/2012 at 6:39pm - health - by Leadamp (man) -

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17801) - you deserved it (51628)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I tagged along with some friends to a party in the woods. Halfway into the night, a party-goer's boyfriend got extremely drunk and violent, causing the others to panic and drive away in the two cars we pooled in. My best friend and I had to run all the way back home on foot. FML

#20134435
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17802) - you deserved it (3636)

On 10/26/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by Miss Spasticator (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I lied to a group of 8 year olds about having a boyfriend. FML

#12049549
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17800) - you deserved it (27685)

On 07/22/2010 at 7:08pm - love - by jennavankirk - United States

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make me feel better. FML

#7696686
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17793) - you deserved it (5642)

On 01/30/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by virgo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML

#915602
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17783) - you deserved it (53144)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by effingawwesome (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I said thanks to a man who got up for me in the bus. He angrily said "no, not you!". The old lady who sat down is now staring at me. FML

#439
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17782) - you deserved it (6597)

On 12/03/2008 at 12:04am - misc - by pam - Sent from mobile version

Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML

#19588733
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17782) - you deserved it (3839)

On 05/07/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a playing test in orchestra, which I've pracriced over 30 hours for. After I played my part, which I thought I did very well, my teacher asked how much I had practice. Trying to show off, I said "Oh, just 30 minutes." My teacher said "It shows, that was terrible." She was serious. FML

#982369
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17780) - you deserved it (54361)

On 04/15/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as I left work for the parking lot, I noticed two full trashbags duct-taped to my car. They were marked as my property. According to the note left on my windshield, my ex-roommate thought he'd be kind enough to bring my things to me to save me the trip. FML

Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML

#18229503
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17766) - you deserved it (5342)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML

#19684579
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17766) - you deserved it (2794)

On 05/26/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by Dom - South Africa (Eastern Cape)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: