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Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

by dab1230 / 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML

by steveinnewsoh / 01/18/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML

by red / 09/27/2012 at 7:37am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that over the course of this winter, there have been more snow days in Atlanta than days in which I have ever been on a date. FML

by lonelyashell / 03/02/2010 at 3:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I got an email notification from Yahoo! Personals: "Hi, we've found 0 new matches for you". FML

by sad sack. / 01/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my brother, the plumber, was called to unblock a toilet. Whenever this occurs, he takes a photo of it and sends it to me. It always seems to happen around meal time. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2012 at 8:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML

by badluck_jean / 01/17/2015 at 8:54am / France / Love

Today, my date came to pick me up for a date. As I was getting into his car, a large blister on my foot burst. My foot is now swimming in a pool of hot, liquid pus. FML

by Szaszaspasz / 08/24/2015 at 6:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML

by Ellie / 05/08/2012 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the girl I've been hitting on for months on MSN and that I'm about to meet told me "I know you are in love, and you know I'm not". Erm, no, I didn't know. FML

by Titanic / 12/07/2008 at 3:46am / Love

Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML

by sarika / 07/23/2015 at 8:12pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my mom got angry that I wasn't responding to her texts. I couldn't because I was in the dentist's chair. She'd dropped me off, and after returning from errands, sent the text from the waiting room. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, a 60 year old veteran hit on me by pointing to his white hair and saying: "Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't a fire down below." Then he told me vets eat free at Cracker Barrel. FML

by Bex98 / 09/28/2015 at 12:31pm / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.