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Today, I told my dad I was gonna to start working out again. He looked at me with honest confusion on his face and said, "You worked out before?" My mother started laughing. She was all the way upstairs. FML

#21430201
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23236) - you deserved it (2835)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:35pm - health - by LukesSkyWalker (woman) - United States

Today, after 4 days of avoiding me and screening his calls, my 24-year-old boyfriend sent his mother to break up with me on his behalf. FML

#21475608
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23235) - you deserved it (1895)

On 10/03/2015 at 6:13am - love - by coward (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I fell going down the stairs and hit my head on the wall. My parents came frantically running to my side, but only to make sure I hadn't damaged the wall. FML

#19761942
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23231) - you deserved it (2132)

On 06/09/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Lily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into a fight with my mom because she believes that my fiancé is "irresponsible" and "immature". I stormed out and drove back home. There, I walked in on my fiancé and his friends. They were in a heated and almost violent argument over which CSI is the best. The wedding's next month. FML

#21430956
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23231) - you deserved it (5944)

On 06/24/2015 at 12:16am - love - by It's CSI Miami - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

#21509335
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23231) - you deserved it (4803)

On 12/30/2015 at 10:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML

#20121395
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23229) - you deserved it (2061)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:00pm - kids - by Uproar - Iceland

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

#20063309
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23229) - you deserved it (13352)

On 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by dating a fucking idiot (woman) - United States

Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML

#19322341
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23228) - you deserved it (7010)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to sit through an entire conversation where my sister and her boyfriend sent voice messages to one another, of their farts. FML

#21449629
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23226) - you deserved it (2073)

On 07/30/2015 at 6:04pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was texting a friend of mine. She mentioned it was her dad's birthday. I typed "Tell him Happy Birthday for me!" and as I pressed send I remember her dad was dead. FML

#3169112
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23224) - you deserved it (45070)

On 06/24/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by blind (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML

#20788837
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23222) - you deserved it (40426)

On 07/17/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by igotsbadluck - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23221) - you deserved it (4600)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML



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