Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I just woke up next to the most unpopular girl in school. Damn Vodka. FML

#228
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19090) - you deserved it (137442)

On 11/06/2008 at 4:43am - intimacy - by Ben-Ben - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML

Today, British Telecom disconnected my landline by mistake. Their call centre in India tried to reach me. Result, they spoke to an unknown gentleman, who told them he didn't need a phone line at my address. Reconnection in 2 business days. FML

#365
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19087) - you deserved it (1807)

On 11/22/2008 at 6:51am - misc - by Sugar - United Kingdom

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

#19620502
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19082) - you deserved it (2056)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

#19555079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19081) - you deserved it (3733)

On 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

#8193148
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19080) - you deserved it (6789)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:51am - intimacy - by whathef???? - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML

#13655467
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19075) - you deserved it (24597)

On 10/30/2010 at 10:14pm - love - by yummy(: - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

#20201213
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19075) - you deserved it (7816)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19074) - you deserved it (58878)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML

#19792230
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19073) - you deserved it (8866)

On 06/15/2012 at 12:41pm - misc - by eminem blows cock (woman) - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML

#19731435
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19071) - you deserved it (6153)

On 06/04/2012 at 6:13am - love - by Ladycakes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

#14658044
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19069) - you deserved it (41807)

On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML

#1499
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19064) - you deserved it (1740)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: