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Today, my remote control airplane arrived in the mail. I was super excited, so naturally I took it outside for its first flight. It now resides at the top of the tallest tree in sight. FML

#19691292
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17002) - you deserved it (8026)

On 05/27/2012 at 11:33pm - misc - by buckley456 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom drove my family to the desert for a themed family photo. We had to wear big frumpy old western-looking clothes in 115 degree weather. Hot and agitated, I muttered, "This is the ugliest thing I've ever had to wear." My mom, looking hurt, replied, "That's my wedding dress." FML

#8630482
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17001) - you deserved it (24304)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Lespoon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

#20193519
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17001) - you deserved it (2950)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up and realized I have experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I am a 24 year old male who has been married for 3 months. Guess who isn't getting any. FML

#7025515
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16996) - you deserved it (2755)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16995) - you deserved it (47601)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my sister won a bet. She bet my best friend a burrito that I wouldn't lose my virginity within a year. I am twenty and have to drive my friend to Del Taco so he can buy my sister her victory burrito cause I didn't get laid. FML

#7336575
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16993) - you deserved it (3729)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Jaayoung23 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had dinner with my family for the first time in a couple of days. My mum and dad spent the majority of the time arguing whether salt or pepper weighed more. This is why I'm not home often. FML

#19666760
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16991) - you deserved it (1828)

On 05/23/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my Dad thought "Joseph" and "Francis" were two people hacking our internet. They are actually the names of my laptop and iPod, which have now been blocked from using our modem. He can't figure out how to unblock them. FML

#14932841
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16974) - you deserved it (23576)

On 02/11/2011 at 5:59am - misc - by Gem (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

#21399079
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16986) - you deserved it (1118)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

Today, I was at my friend's house, and I asked if I could try on one of her dresses. It was a little snug, but I got it on. When it came time to take it off though, it wouldn't budge. My friend and her mom had to cut it off me. FML

#16627798
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16971) - you deserved it (30476)

On 06/12/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Apple (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

#18043699
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16971) - you deserved it (48144)

On 10/22/2011 at 2:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML

#1259659
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16970) - you deserved it (47852)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:51pm - work - by Kylene (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

#21091940
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16965) - you deserved it (64461)

On 03/20/2014 at 5:03pm - misc - by screwed (man) - United States (Texas)



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