By Anonymous - United States - Encino Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML I agree, your life sucks 19656 You deserved it 2136 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lessimportantthanatable - United States - Northfield Today, I learned that the new granite countertop in my parents' house cost $12,000. Coincidentally, this is also the amount of money I would have needed to go to the college of my dreams instead of the cheaper school I currently attend. FML I agree, your life sucks 4643 You deserved it 958 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tanya - Canada Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML I agree, your life sucks 16073 You deserved it 40827 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while having sex for our first time, my boyfriend decided to test out a theory he heard about, that conversation during sex makes it more enjoyable. His way of doing it? He looked me straight in the eye and asked "How 'bout them Brewers?" We're from Wisconsin. That's our local sports team. FML I agree, your life sucks 34891 You deserved it 5242 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Shewhoisprobablyafurry - 3/5/2020 02:00 Going nowhere fast Today, I have a massive crush on a fictional character. Who happens to be an ermine. FML I agree, your life sucks 488 You deserved it 1065 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuck you retail - United States - San Francisco Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML I agree, your life sucks 51486 You deserved it 4512 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By omgn00blolz89 - United States Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML I agree, your life sucks 88305 You deserved it 3728 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - France - Le Rove Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML I agree, your life sucks 54213 You deserved it 3145 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/10/2020 02:02 Who you gonna call? Today, I couldn't enter my workplace because I haven't gotten the new keycard yet. I ended up having to wait outside for close to an hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 880 You deserved it 121 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By she knows - United States - Honolulu Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML I agree, your life sucks 53076 You deserved it 3270 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Yuuucky - Canada Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML I agree, your life sucks 36530 You deserved it 17066 206 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Muwz - France - Paris Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML I agree, your life sucks 44426 You deserved it 9736 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML I agree, your life sucks 24440 You deserved it 3143 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Slidell Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML I agree, your life sucks 21074 You deserved it 1687 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sigh - United States Today, my boyfriend got upset after I politely asked him to do the laundry. He takes every chance he gets to act macho and brag to people about how he's in the Marines, but apparently he is too much of a pussy to act like a man and clean his own clothes. FML I agree, your life sucks 36306 You deserved it 6568 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mr.Hoof-In-Mouth Today, I was talking to a customer needing IT help. I make small talk about how my birthday is on the same day the Boy Scouts were formed, and I tell the customer I am sure something interesting happened on his birthday. He gets quiet, then gives his birthday. September11th. Cue the long silence. FML I agree, your life sucks 4186 You deserved it 724 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hippie88 - United States - New York Hello? Is it me you're looking for? Today, I figured out why I've used triple the amount of cellphone minutes than I usually do over the past month since moving out. Is it because I suddenly have a social life now that I'm living on my own? No. All those calls were made to my mom because I'm lonely. FML I agree, your life sucks 1279 You deserved it 302 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hairdresser On Fire - United Kingdom - Bristol Bad hair day Today, I mistook a little girl for a boy. Unfortunately, I only realised my mistake until after I'd cut her hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 694 You deserved it 1741 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By It's-only15-lbs-extra Not. Helping. Today, because of my full-time job, full-time courses, studying for the GRE, anxiety disorder, insomnia, and a recent pet death, I'm on the verge of a breakdown. My mother texted, "Looking through old photos, you were so skinny, what happened?" FML I agree, your life sucks 5349 You deserved it 429 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By surfergal91 - United States Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML I agree, your life sucks 45472 You deserved it 4115 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my landlord informed me that after 8 months, we are finally getting cable and internet in our house. I move out tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 35724 You deserved it 3787 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Netherlands - Veldhoven Right in the miniature tree Today, my parents got mad at me because I laughed when they called the bullseye "bonsai" while watching darts. They've always thought it was bonsai. FML I agree, your life sucks 5484 You deserved it 464 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oops1234 - United States Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML I agree, your life sucks 62372 You deserved it 17398 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By James - 16/4/2020 08:00 Anxious Today, I began worrying I have social anxiety, all because while getting dressed I convinced myself that everyone would talk about me behind my back if I wore a striped shirt. FML I agree, your life sucks 1247 You deserved it 311 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By uggo - United States Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML I agree, your life sucks 37686 You deserved it 5396 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mrmz07 - United States - Midland Today, I was called in to work on my day off to cover for a co-worker because she was busy getting it on with my brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 14449 Phew, glad it wasn't me 1555 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/5/2020 08:00 Frustration Today, my wife is still refusing all forms of sex, because she thinks if she gets pregnant during lockdown, she’ll be the butt of all her friends' jokes about what people get up to to relieve the lockdown boredom. I know what I’d like to be getting up to right now to relieve my boredom. FML I agree, your life sucks 1857 You deserved it 311 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - Australia Today, I successfully stopped my hair straightener from falling into a bathtub full of water by grabbing hold of the burning hot plates. FML I agree, your life sucks 25831 You deserved it 8129 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML I agree, your life sucks 43505 You deserved it 3542 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML I agree, your life sucks 32780 You deserved it 3813 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriends house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML I agree, your life sucks 17428 You deserved it 23700 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By No one special. - United States Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML I agree, your life sucks 32388 You deserved it 2417 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/2/2021 02:59 - United States - West Yellowstone Alexa, play "Burning down the house" by Talking Heads Today, a house I'm working in burned down overnight. My entire cordless tool line up and everything else needed to remodel a 3-story home is gone. Almost $14000. The only way I will be somewhat, maybe, possibly, reimbursed is if I stay on to rebuild the home. I don't have anything left to even start. FML I agree, your life sucks 1079 You deserved it 94 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous The Gush Today, I had planned to do a twenty-minute colon cleanse enema for weight loss. Instead, I woke up in the middle of the night with uncontrollable diarrhea that’s still going strong. Eight hours and counting. FML I agree, your life sucks 718 You deserved it 1909 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I texted this girl that I really like. I got a message back saying "Your message to 903-***-**** could not go through due to a disconnection, thanks, Alltel services." I overheard her later at lunch saying she sent the message, and laughed with her friends about it. FML I agree, your life sucks 65651 You deserved it 9940 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SecondBest,IGuess - United States Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML I agree, your life sucks 62346 You deserved it 16379 218 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By toto13660 Today, at the beach, a seagull conveyed its opinion of my cigarette by taking a dump on it, putting it out. Seems they have anti-tobacco sniper seagulls now. FML I agree, your life sucks 7314 You deserved it 13001 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hail Today, I told my parents I was pregnant but don’t know who the Dad is. My Mom said “that’s alright, I still don’t know who your dad is”. So apparently my father isn’t my real Dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 2765 You deserved it 1132 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ninja breakup? Today, my boyfriend of six years came home wearing a ninja suit. When I asked why, he said "These are my breakup clothes. I'm breaking up with you." He then screamed, threw a plastic shuriken at me and ran away. It hit me in the breast. FML I agree, your life sucks 3514 You deserved it 333 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, after being a few minutes late to work a few times this week, I left the house super early this morning. When I got to work, security hadn’t unlocked the doors yet, so I waited in my car, where I ended up falling asleep and sleeping through most of my entire morning shift. FML I agree, your life sucks 949 You deserved it 1455 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By koobra | 5 #7760077 - Sunday 27 January 2019 15:15 Uhg... I hate looped videos like this Send a private message 2 2 Reply
By Criminal | 6 #7779339 - Sunday 10 March 2019 12:44 She’s pretty hot. Nice ass... 😊 Send a private message 0 2 Reply
By koobra | 5 #7760077 - Sunday 27 January 2019 15:15 Uhg... I hate looped videos like this Send a private message 2 2 Reply
By Criminal | 6 #7779339 - Sunday 10 March 2019 12:44 She’s pretty hot. Nice ass... 😊 Send a private message 0 2 Reply
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 804 You deserved it 277 5 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 594 You deserved it 238 4 Comments