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Today, in class, I volunteered to read a poem out loud. I accidentally said "circumcised" instead of "circumscribed". I don't think I"ll be volunteering to read anything more. FML

#1446
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15049) - you deserved it (3858)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:49am - misc - by EpicFail - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

#21237592
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15048) - you deserved it (72485)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by oops - United States (California)

Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML

#15974313
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15041) - you deserved it (36636)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Celluloid (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, the novelty of shaving a heart into my pubic hair for my wife vanished, when I woke up to find a collection of scabs around my pubes. FML

#19542663
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15040) - you deserved it (13253)

On 04/28/2012 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Matt (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

#18867304
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15040) - you deserved it (26249)

On 01/21/2012 at 12:47am - love - by Reliena (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML

#233851
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15038) - you deserved it (65380)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I farted A LOT during my exam, all silent so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I am now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML

#105
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15023) - you deserved it (38165)

On 10/27/2008 at 8:13pm - misc - by Hth - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

#97434
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15024) - you deserved it (62354)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML

#3080092
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15023) - you deserved it (42244)

On 06/21/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by Crispy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML

#4272437
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15021) - you deserved it (50126)

On 08/04/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by jkon (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I talked to my ex on AIM after not speaking to her since we broke up two years ago. The conversation lead up to her asking how I feel about her. So I poured my heart and soul out to her, because I still love her. She immediately logged off. FML

#7470766
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15020) - you deserved it (28249)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:10am - love - by JCruz411 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML

#14855519
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15020) - you deserved it (37964)

On 02/05/2011 at 5:54pm - misc - by Zeco - United States



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