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Today, my two moms were telling some fairly obscene jokes about their sex life. When I told them to stop making such vulgar jokes, they turned to me and said, "What makes you think we were joking?" They then clarified that they were in fact being completely serious. FML

Today, my girlfriend jumped into my arms for a kiss. She's done it before, but this time I wasn't expecting it. I fell backwards, straight through my glass coffee table. FML

#21502189
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23218) - you deserved it (1943)

On 12/10/2015 at 8:45am - health - by fucking SUCKS let's do it LIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEE! (man) - United States

Today, I realized just how bad my 28-year-old husband's gamer rage is when I came home to a smashed TV. This is the second TV in three months that he's destroyed. FML

#20080513
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23219) - you deserved it (4158)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML

#18092215
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23215) - you deserved it (2267)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:48pm - work - by Angelica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

#17266152
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23215) - you deserved it (2876)

On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn. FML

#5702503
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23214) - you deserved it (3137)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by fatnick (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss pulled me aside to chastise me for being "off task" because I was chatting with a co-worker while working on a project. She then spent a half hour chatting with the same person about what daycare she should go to for her new baby. FML

#19369519
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23214) - you deserved it (2094)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:42am - work - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML

#20090730
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23214) - you deserved it (7926)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:37am - misc - by red (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was reading a blog post by a girl that I really like. In the post, it said, "I know I'm not beautiful." I told her that I thought it wasn't true at all. She responded by crying hysterically and asking me why I would say that. It turned out that it actually said, "I know I'm beautiful." FML

#15714143
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23212) - you deserved it (31104)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Arran (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

#837
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23209) - you deserved it (2047)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:21pm - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

#7883509
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23208) - you deserved it (12933)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my landlord is too cheap to turn up the hot water tank enough to have a comfortable shower. There's a huge padlock on the door, she won't budge, and I'm signed in until December. FML

#17962852
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23209) - you deserved it (2208)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by frigid - (Alberta)

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

#19522218
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23206) - you deserved it (4731)

On 04/24/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by suhleedah18 - United States



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