Nobody wants to dance with me By Lewis - 24/01/2019 00:30 I really don't understand why... I agree, your life sucks 253 You deserved it 132 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was told by a doctor that I have a fatal disease, and that I should start making preparations for when I pass away. Then, another doctor showed up, panicking, and said that was meant for someone else with the same first name as me. The mini-heart attack I had at that moment almost killed me anyway. FML I agree, your life sucks 613 You deserved it 74
Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 294 You deserved it 3 354
Today, I got frustrated looking for jobs and decided to take a quiz on best-fitting careers. My results speak for themselves. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 871 You deserved it 375
Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 290 You deserved it 4 248
Today, my class had a debate about religion. My classmate said that Christians couldn't be circumcised because "only Jewish people are". Without thinking, I said it isn't true because I'm Christian and I’m circumcised. I accidentally gave the whole class a mental picture of my dick. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 286 You deserved it 1 230
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML I agree, your life sucks 39 177 You deserved it 32 491
Today, I met my father-in-law for the first time. He went on a big rant how men are superior intellects and women contribute nothing to society. Ironic, as it took me, a woman, 30 seconds to notice it's biologically impossible for him to be my husband's father. After 33 years, both he and my husband haven't figured it out. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 737 You deserved it 214
Today, it's the 11th time in a row my wife has promised sex, then backed out. Some were good valid reasons I’ll admit, but this time we got as far as naked dry-humping when she suddenly decided she was too upset about our cat dying 8 years ago, so instead she played on her phone until she fell asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 979 You deserved it 312
That's the best dance ever 😍
Fierce! rawrrr!