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Today, my dad told me it would be fine to use the mounting tape he'd bought to place paintings up in my newly painted room. I did, but after deciding I wanted to move a painting and pulling it off the wall, the wall came with it. Back to square one. FML

#19392434
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16107) - you deserved it (5200)

On 04/01/2012 at 11:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to find a date for this banquet we did in my town every year. I paid my neighbor 40 bucks an hour to be my date. It was a 4 hour event. Best part: she got drunk and told the whole town I was paying her. FML

#2720571
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16104) - you deserved it (54373)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:44pm - love - by twowords (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 8 year old son cut his own hair. He did a better job than I ever did. I'm a hairdresser. FML

#17279085
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16101) - you deserved it (30141)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:35pm - kids - by buiuuum - United States (Michigan)

Today, when I tried on a pair of pants at the mall, I asked the salesperson if I could have the next size up. She informed me that there wasn't a next size up. I have to LOSE weight to fit into the biggest pair of pants the store makes. FML

#29334
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16099) - you deserved it (33715)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by ardenm - United States (California)

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

#6850
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16100) - you deserved it (46776)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by thermos (man) - United States (California)

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

#15447949
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16099) - you deserved it (31708)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by Cuzles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a big presentation to do at work, so I got up early and ran myself a bath. I woke up three hours later, extremely late, and still in the bath. FML

#18377899
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16097) - you deserved it (20646)

On 11/28/2011 at 6:43pm - work - by fuuuuck (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling good about it until I saw the interviewer. It was a guy I had sex with and never called again. He remembered me too. FML

Today, I discovered that no matter how hot and exhausted you are, being blasted in the face with a high pressure hose is always more painful than refreshing. FML

#20165112
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16097) - you deserved it (9398)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a couple of mates and me have a reservation on this fancy restaurant to celebrate Chinese New Year. I found out that 80% of our money goes to the wine tasting event that they have, a free flow of gorgeous, decent wine all around. I'm allergic to fruit. I'll stick to my 20RMB water bottle. FML

#2482
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16092) - you deserved it (2637)

On 01/24/2009 at 8:36pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML

#20016166
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16063) - you deserved it (9564)

On 08/12/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by FlorenceD - United States (Texas)

Today, I signed up to a Christian website in order to try and 'find God again'. I got banned. FML

#13982900
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16059) - you deserved it (24114)

On 11/26/2010 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

#15606903
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16077) - you deserved it (45706)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by lovely321 (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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