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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got up the courage to go to my very first voice lesson. I thought I did alright, but at the end my teacher told me, "Now don't worry about grades in this class, I grade on effort, not on talent." FML

#11698
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20835) - you deserved it (2738)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Lizz (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20835) - you deserved it (35563)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I exchanged pictures with a guy I met online, whose devotion to his family really impressed me. In his picture, he was wearing clown makeup, holding a huge knife to his throat with one hand, and an ICP album in the other. All this with a psychopathic grin on his face. FML

#19877296
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20838) - you deserved it (7452)

On 07/01/2012 at 6:57pm - misc - by probablydeadbymidnight (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that "going for a meal and going out clubbing" for New Year's means me cooking for my mates and driving them to the pub. FML

#7042607
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20832) - you deserved it (3212)

On 12/30/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by stonesober (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

#6194907
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20830) - you deserved it (2190)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got to live my life's dream of going whale watching. Apparently my true life's dream was to get extremely seasick, sunburned to a crisp, and pay $60 to see only seagulls in the end. FML

#19977133
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20830) - you deserved it (3920)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:05pm - animals - by disappointed (woman) -

Today, I forgot to pay for my train ride for the first time. Today was also the first time I've ever seen transit security checking for people's tickets and kicking offenders off. FML

#20125823
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20829) - you deserved it (5118)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:59pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML

#20078726
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20829) - you deserved it (3040)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Burntintomyretinas - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up panting and drenched in sweat from a horrible nightmare. I'd been dreaming that bright, colored shapes were falling from the sky and I couldn't make them all neatly align with one another on the ground. I guess I should stop playing so much Tetris before bed. FML

#21453585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20829) - you deserved it (4446)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:56pm - misc - by I love L (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I dropped a heavy block of lead on my hand. On my hunt for ice, I had to tell my manager - who told her manager, who told the chief - in the end, the whole department found out and they made me fill in two long arsed incident reports. I had to fill them in myself with my busted up hand. FML

#7192176
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20825) - you deserved it (2888)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML

Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML

#19954177
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20821) - you deserved it (6083)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:41am - work - by butterball (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I realised that I only get dandruff when I'm stressed about having dandruff. Which is whenever I have dandruff. FML

#19400366
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20820) - you deserved it (3979)

On 04/03/2012 at 10:16am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



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