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Today, I'm looking for a job, and the employer I spoke to by phone was busy, but before hanging up he said "we will call you soon". I still wonder how he plans to do so without even having asked for my number. FML

#2053
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18100) - you deserved it (2127)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:03pm - love - by maddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

#20153942
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18098) - you deserved it (1883)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by derve - United States

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18095) - you deserved it (89341)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18093) - you deserved it (70582)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML

#6356025
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18088) - you deserved it (7515)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:35pm - intimacy - by Tucker (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized I've been driving for almost two years and still get excited when I park between the lines on my first try. FML

#14017590
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18090) - you deserved it (18285)

On 11/28/2010 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

#5068921
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18087) - you deserved it (48328)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by JustMyLuck (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I drove 150 miles to see one of my favorite singers in concert. Before I got out of the car I checked to make sure I had the tickets. Did I have the tickets? Yes. Were they for today's concert? Nope. FML

#2237527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18086) - you deserved it (54205)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by duhitskelly94 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18083) - you deserved it (42411)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

#20166301
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18077) - you deserved it (6901)

On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML

#847714
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18074) - you deserved it (43853)

On 04/07/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by laurisshnazzy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with this terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super-dentist-chick enters in and says: "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

#2012
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18069) - you deserved it (2913)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:36am - love - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

#17601670
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18066) - you deserved it (35814)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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