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The all-time greatest FMLs

By swervelol - 15/08/2018 05:46

Today, I realized what I thought was bad lighting and poor TV brightness was actually night blindness. I found out while driving to work at my new night shift job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 172

You deserved it 250

swervelol tells us more.

swervelol 28

Monday 13 August 2018 23:43

Wow this got published hi! I'm the OP and I'm here to clear up a few things! Yes I haven't driven at night due to working full time at my previous job at a store that closed at 7 pm every night (it stays light until very late in Montana) I also haven't been out late due to long shifts at work and recently moving to a new city which has heightened the severity of my night blindness because I am unfamiliar with the roads. I have corrective lenses for an astigmatism since I was 9 and was declared legally blind over a year ago by my optometrist who says my vision will deteriorate naturally as I age. I have noticed for a few months now that dark pictures, video games, and scenes in movies have been extremely hard to make out and all my electronics have been on full brightness. I am scheduling another eye appointment to see if any medication or a new prescription will help, I am only 19 years old and was looking forward to following my passion to become a graphic artist and it would be really devastating to lose my sight anymore so and so early on in my life. Sorry for the long post it is hard to explain everything with the character limit!

Lost

By bent & broken - 24/08/2018 16:30 - United States - Hot Springs Village

Today, I was lost on a dirt road when it started raining and I got stuck in the mud, so I walked 5 miles to a farm. They brought their tractor and pulled me out, but then my key broke off in the ignition. It's my birthday and I can't get home for the party my wife planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 172

You deserved it 319

Mismanagement

By GaymerLink - 12/08/2018 23:30

Today, my boss reprimanded me for not meeting my sales goals and is sending me to a two week training program. I don’t work in sales. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 171

You deserved it 164

By HLRJ - 29/08/2018 09:00 - United States - Concord

Today, after my husband said he forgot our anniversary 2 days ago because he was so focused on planning for today, he forgot what was so important about today. It's my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 168

You deserved it 260

Which side are you on?

By FMyCountry - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, during a football match, the referee declared a goal as invalid. The dad of the kid who scored didn't agree, which led to an all-out fight among all the kids' parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 167

You deserved it 312

By kat - 28/11/2018 15:30

Today, I posted my phone for sale on Facebook. Someone hit me up to buy it and wanted me to meet them. I didn't really want to drive to them, but I'm a mom of two and I needed food and some extra cash, so I did it. The guy asked to look at the phone… and ran off with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 166

You deserved it 705

By Lisa - 09/11/2018 07:00 - United States - Sedalia

Today, I developed a roll of film I'd had sitting around for years. It was all images my ex had taken of him scrubbing his ass and toilet with my electric toothbrush, which I'd used for at least a month after our breakup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 165

You deserved it 341

By brokeandalone - 08/09/2018 03:30 - Macedonia - Skopje

Today, all my money was stolen from my room during a stay abroad. I was in the room, I had just fallen asleep with my bag right next to me. When I landed back home, the airline lost my luggage. I am now penniless and don't even have a clean pair of underwear to my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 163

You deserved it 229

By tillybonkers - 26/09/2018 22:00

Today, I helped a guy in a flaming car by busting his window to get him out. I didn't realize until after the crash scene was cleared, that I didn't just have his blood on me, but I also had cut from the window. Round 3 of HIV testing here I come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 161

You deserved it 308

Fancy a snatch? A *snack, sorry.

By Crabcake - 21/09/2017 19:30 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my husband bought a luxury soap that smells like lemons. Now, every time I wash my private parts in the shower, it smells like a special at Red Lobster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 161

You deserved it 967

Eat them

By fatcat - 05/09/2018 16:30 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I was told to stop processing certain transactions at work because I'd tried to make rich people follow the same tax rules that we force poor people to follow to the letter. I'm guessing it won't be too long till I'm fired and blacklisted from this career I've had ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 160

You deserved it 257

By Nykole McAllister - 15/09/2018 17:30 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 159

You deserved it 293

By Shrimpy - 16/03/2019 20:00

Today my girlfriend and her 3 friends walked in on me doing a solo performance on myself. They stood their quietly and videoed it unknown to me. And then afterwards laughed and made fun of how small I am. And to make it worse forwarded the video to everyone. Now everyone calls me shrimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 159

You deserved it 528

Don't send dickpics (unless requested)

By rachele321 - 20/08/2019 02:00

Today, some guy sent a dickpic to my phone. I was disgusted, and wanted to find out who did it. I called the police, and they matched the number to my stepfather's new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 158

You deserved it 253

By Poorlittlelady - 08/10/2018 22:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was helping my elderly dementia client with her toilet. I reached in both front and back to pull up her pants for her. "Not too hard, nice and easy..." she said with a weird smile. I looked over to see I was actually pulling her nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 157

You deserved it 682

By cheesylad - 10/06/2017 06:00 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, I was alone in the car with my crush. For reasons I will never understand, I put on the song 'Kiss a Girl' by Keith Urban. I could feel her cringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 156

You deserved it 1 394

Praise

By Jesusman - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, as I helped my boss set up catering at our café, she was stressing about having enough time for everything when the DJ chimed in with, "Why don't you ask him to help?" It got awkwardly quiet as they looked at me and he realized I was a girl. Then he tried saying, "By him, I mean Jesus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 154

You deserved it 367

By Anonymous - 01/09/2018 20:30

Today, after 3 days of hearing a car alarm going off almost continuously, the city finally came and towed it. Immediately after, the owner showed up with a switchblade, inquiring who called the city. My neighbors ratted me out, despite the fact I had nothing to do with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 154

You deserved it 181

By he fucking smells like death! - 18/12/2018 13:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was told what a bitch I am for turning down “the nice guy” after he surprised me with flowers and a hand painted portrait. He conveniently left out the part where he texted me multiple creepy porn links, doesn’t brush his teeth and has the personal hygiene of a farm animal! FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 152

You deserved it 415

By Lostring - 02/07/2018 20:30

Today, I was fiddling with a ring my aunt hand made me, accidentally slipping it off, and dropped it in the toilet. Like an idiot, I scrambled to get it out only for my bending over to activate the automatic flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 152

You deserved it 997

By Ouch - 02/12/2018 13:00 - Australia - Port Melbourne

Today, I asked the guy of my dreams out to the cinema. After saying to me "It's a date!" I started booking tickets. He said, "Why are you booking two?" I looked at him confused and then he said, "What about Dave? Dave? My boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 150

You deserved it 571

Mysterious disappointment

By Anonymous - 05/07/2020 08:31

Today, I texted my mom and told her I'm pregnant and she responded with, "I can’t respond to this right now." So she and my dad are disappointed in me. None of my other siblings were married or even engaged before having their kids. I’m 23, engaged, and own my own house. I don’t see the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 147

You deserved it 351

cheyennejocelyn tells us more.

cheyennejocelyn 7

Saturday 13 June 2020 21:03

This is my post, and my parents have never supported me in anything in life. They weren’t happy about my engagement, I knew they weren’t gonna be happy about my pregnancy, so to save to the argument I did it over text. I have since miscarried.

By Bam - 09/09/2018 15:00

Today, after being told my cellphone was under warranty and would be repaired for free, Samsung received my device, changed their minds, and charged me $636.96 to return my device to me. That's more than the device costs new at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 146

You deserved it 201