Today, I was called back about my job interview. I was told that...

By I can't stand leg puns - 8/8/2018 02:30 - United Kingdom - Feltham

Today, I was called back about my job interview. I was told that due to my restricted mobility from my prosthetic leg, they don't think I'll be able to do the job. It's a desk job on the ground floor of the building. FML

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Work

Health

Capitalism kills

Toxic parents

Clocked

By wrestling probs - 26/5/2015 02:24 - United States

Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML

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By fabs1171 - 29/11/2012 05:40 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

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By faux ma - 29/4/2012 03:06 - United States - Winter Park

Today, I told the hairdresser that my kid had cut my hair. I don't have kids. I was just really drunk. FML

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By anonymous - 14/12/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML

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By Anonymous - 16/5/2019 16:02

Today, I got married to the love of my life, with whom I've been with for 5 years. It's also one of the 3 times a year where he's got so drunk that, instead of puking in the bed like last time, he puked all over the side of my car while I was driving us home. FML

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By Application - 28/7/2015 20:44 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I asked my boss for a promotion. "You don't work here but I can give you a job application." I've been working here for 8 years. FML

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By tommyboy783 - 20/10/2011 01:38 - United States

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

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By anonymous - 14/5/2012 10:31 - United States - Havelock

Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML

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By flipraff101 - 14/10/2009 09:20 - Australia

Today, I was at home and my boyfriend called me and said that I'd left my G-string at his house. I only have one G-string and I was wearing it. FML

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By Daughter of a Dork - 14/9/2018 17:30 - United States - New York

Today, my dad demanded that I break up with my cheating boyfriend. With that revelation, I did some investigating on my own. The other woman is apparently my boyfriend's "cute little" Marshadow that slaughtered my dad's "godlike" Incineroar in a 3DS battle they had. FML

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By confusedcatlover - 6/4/2013 11:42 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

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By zoosmell pooplord - 2/9/2012 19:41 - Norway - Geilo

Today, my boss got angry at me because my English is better than his. He accused me of trying to steal his management position, and implied that I'll be lucky if I still have a job by the end of the month. FML

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By a non e mouse - 10/11/2015 22:34 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I tried to unlock my house's front door by hitting the unlock button on my car keys. It took me some time to realize my mistake. FML

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By AzNFoo - 26/3/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

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By Matchtopia - 18/1/2012 00:21 - United States

Today, I was addressed by name by the liquor store clerk. I've never told him my name. He's just seen my ID many times. FML

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By Evaki1 - 13/6/2011 14:24 - Greece

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

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By Zoey_M - 8/7/2013 23:26 - Saudi Arabia - Riyadh

Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML

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By hard_headed - 10/9/2010 10:02 - United States

Today, at work, I leaned back in a chair too far, causing me to tip over and smash my head into a wall. If that wasn't enough damage, my boss keeps replaying the security footage to everyone I work with. My head hurts not from the fall, but the loud laughter that keeps coming from inside the office. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/11/2011 00:04 - Reserved

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

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By crushed dreams - 16/6/2011 06:20 - United States

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/11/2013 17:21 - United States - Latrobe

Today, while refereeing a soccer game, I was accused of being racist, blind, and a fascist by spectators. The game was played by a group of third graders. FML

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By Kathrynn - 7/3/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, I overheard my parents having sex. Trying to be the reasonable person I was, I dismissed it, realizing that sex is just normal. I quickly walked past their room when my cat ran past me into their room, cracking open the door. Now my parents think I was peeping and need therapy. FML

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By extra crispy or original recipe - 16/2/2014 22:23 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

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By fmyactuallife - 3/5/2020 08:00

Sludge factory

Today, I'm on my second day of a week of antibiotics to treat a bad urine infection. Incidentally, the pills seem to be giving me extremely loud, frequent, gut-wrenchingly painful and smelly diarrhea. Only 5 more days to go. FML

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By loveless - 18/2/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

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By failing - 28/4/2017 01:00 - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, after searching frantically for my economics notes for a week, I asked my friend to send me pictures of her's. I recognised my handwriting on the pictures she sent me and she admitted she "borrowed" them. The exam is in three days and she refuses to meet me and give my notes back. FML

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By Donny - 4/8/2011 20:49 - United States

Today, severely tired and pulling an all-nighter, I was editing documents at work. Eventually the words blurred together and "which" began to look funny, so I corrected them. I realized too late that I'd turned in the company's brochure with every "which" spelt as "witch". FML

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By feelsbadman - 12/7/2018 05:00

Today, I decided to surprise my crush by wishing her happy birthday when she came out of the lift. Too bad she was busy giving someone a blow job and didn’t notice me. FML

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By Shamdog48 - 11/4/2011 15:08 - United States

Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/6/2019 20:01

Today, I found out that the airhead sitting next to me at work who can't get anything done on her own, makes more money than I do. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/1/2012 03:30 - Canada

Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML

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By sexyfail - 26/1/2010 08:59 - Australia

Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML

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By assholedad - 11/2/2015 21:00 - United States

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

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By oops123 - 15/4/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for 2 months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed he says "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I dont pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well technically my fiancée." FML

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By Anonymous - 12/5/2019 12:00

Today, I asked my mom if she'd seen my financial calculator on my way out to an exam. She told me she'd tossed it in the donation pile that she'd taken to the Salvation Army this morning because it was "clutter." I needed it to take the exam, which is required to pass the class, to graduate next month. The only place to buy a replacement was closed. FML

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By OG Pinecone - 23/7/2019 20:11 - United States - Englewood

Today, I was hanging with friends up at my best friend's cabin. We were in his hot tub cracking jokes when he told one that sent me into a fit of hysterics. He tried to shut me up by splashing water on me. It worked, because when I jerked my head to the side, I dislocated a rib. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/12/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend's mom. It was ProActiv acne solution. He tried to make me feel better by explaining it's because she wants to be able to include me in family pictures. FML

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By NoSpirit - 1/11/2012 08:20

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/1/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, a kid grabbed the receiver to my cochlear implant and ran off with it. I went to a security guard, and, if my lip reading was accurate, he said to "try and make it through the day without it". Without it, I can't hear anything. FML

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Top comments

By real life problems | 26

#7673031 - Wednesday 8 August 2018 3:32

$10 says the interviewers kid is the one that asked to try on your leg a while back.

By Leeono | 26

#7664398 - Saturday 21 July 2018 11:05

Take them to court. They wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.

COMMENTS

By jbuckets_404 | 38

#7664355 - Saturday 21 July 2018 8:18

I suggest that you go back and beat that interviewer over the head with your prosthetic leg to convince him otherwise....

By Leeono | 26

#7664398 - Saturday 21 July 2018 11:05

Take them to court. They wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.

jkjorn | 14

#7673297 - Wednesday 8 August 2018 15:22

You didn't read OP's name, did you?

By real life problems | 26

#7673031 - Wednesday 8 August 2018 3:32

$10 says the interviewers kid is the one that asked to try on your leg a while back.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7673043 - Wednesday 8 August 2018 5:10

You ought to sue them for discrimination.

Your case is very strong, so it will cost them alarm and an egg, uh, or something like that.

Lalala579121 | 27

#7673446 - Wednesday 8 August 2018 20:57

And here we see auto correct making yet another FML.

Lalala579121 | 27

#7673448 - Wednesday 8 August 2018 20:58

Wait scratch that, more like me being illiterate is the FML.

By chosha_fml | 25

#7673051 - Wednesday 8 August 2018 6:20

And when you pointed that out?

By DragonMaiden7 | 15

#7673052 - Wednesday 8 August 2018 6:20

I know you’re from Jolly Ol’ England, but I still think you have a great case for a discrimination lawsuit

By Abbusser | 9

#7673070 - Wednesday 8 August 2018 7:04

Was the hiring manager the mother of the kid you made cry for not letting him try on your leg?

By Mungolikecandy | 19

#7673093 - Wednesday 8 August 2018 7:58

That would potentially fall under the discrimination laws of the U.K.

By blahblabbity | 19

#7673439 - Wednesday 8 August 2018 20:38

damn, dude, you have a lot of FMLs

By 1gullible_bugger | 33

#7673572 - Thursday 9 August 2018 5:33

sounds like discrimination to me