Today, it's the 11th time in a row my wife has promised sex, then backed out. Some were good valid reasons I’ll admit, but this time we got as far as naked dry-humping when she suddenly decided she was too upset about our cat dying 8 years ago, so instead she played on her phone until she fell asleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML
Today, my wife threw up in the middle of sex, then fell asleep right after. I didn't even finish and it'd been over a month since the last time. FML
Today, my wife of 21 years fell asleep while we were about to have sex for the eighth time this month. Turns out she can't and won't have sex with me because she has hickies all over her tits and she'd consider it cheating on her new boyfriend, who she just met. I tried to jack off but she fell asleep on my penis, and that was that. FML
Today, it's been almost 3 years since my wife has wanted sex, and I get turned down every time I ask. Even when I insist on a romantic date night, we just sit with no idea what to say to each other. How did we drift so far apart? The only thing keeping us together is the mortgage and the cat. FML
Today, my wife always told me she loved sex too much to ever give it up. I don’t know what’s happened recently but she’s now angry for no reason, bitter at the world, makes me suffer just for existing, and yes, she’s cancelled all intimacy and sex for the foreseeable future. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky so I promised my husband he’d get some at bedtime. He promised not to hold his breath. When I asked what he meant, he told me it’s been 83 days since our last shag, and in that time we almost had sex 16 times, only for me to change my mind, hence not holding his breath. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
****-blocked by a dead pussy? That's the second-worst thing I've heard all day.
Warp1978 15
I completely understand where you are coming from, my wife and I will be making out well get naked and she'll change her mind which would be fine If she didn't complain about being horny afterwards. When I surgest we pick up where we left off she usually gives me an excuse and goes to bed. We've been married for seventeen years but recently she's gone off the boil and sometimes you just have to let it go. Try leaving her out of it and wanking for a while she might come back round.
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Comments (10)
RichardPencil 32
****-blocked by a dead pussy? That's the second-worst thing I've heard all day.
emmalou 19
Face the truth She's cheating!
RichardPencil 32
Is that the 11th time today, or this year? And why exactly are you counting?
EBrogen 12
Go get some trim elsewhere. There's some kind of paper, forum or book that says women need to date 48 different kinds of men. Well, you're the married one that they can date.
Warp1978 15
I completely understand where you are coming from, my wife and I will be making out well get naked and she'll change her mind which would be fine If she didn't complain about being horny afterwards. When I surgest we pick up where we left off she usually gives me an excuse and goes to bed. We've been married for seventeen years but recently she's gone off the boil and sometimes you just have to let it go. Try leaving her out of it and wanking for a while she might come back round.
Meghan Vella-king 4
Go brush your teeth
Yummi_913 18
I was thinking the same thing!
mimisky 7
I did not mean to hit the “you deserve it” button! Sorry! You don’t deserve it! (I don’t think!)
fizdog 4
Just as bad as my wife being on her phone while I fingered her. I stopped and she asked why did I stopped, maybe because you are on your phone? She eventually put her phone down and we continued. Lol
wawa_sxm 15
she cheated and at first waited on std test now she delaying more cuz she gotta treat what she caught before having sex with you...ur welcome
randybryant799 21
Could it be that you're technique needs some work?