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Hi everyone, OP here (well my nickname's gonna show so I'm not sure I needed to say it, but whatever)! Thanks for all the wishes and hugs. <3 First, I saw a few people ask about the cat; she's perfectly fine! And it wasn't actually my cat, it was my mom's boyfriend's... My cat and I live in Baton Rouge in an apartment with my dad, and I had just moved in there in April, so the majority of my things were here but... I had left my memorabilia box (the cards from my grandfather, a lot of childhood books and stuffed animals, the awards, etc.) at my mom and her boyfriend's house in Denham Springs (which, to any of you fellow Louisianians, you know the entire town was flooded), and I had forgotten some of my art supplies and old sketchbooks there alongside my Xbox and Wii unfortunately.Anyway, I actually have some good news: I had submitted this before I was able to go back to the house to salvage things and so when I did manage to go through the flooded stuff (after the water receded, of course), I was able to save a lot of it! Funnily enough, my Wii had been in a plastic tub that also floated, so that was safe. I got to wring out my stuffed animals, and wash them at a laundromat, and I also managed to carefully separate the flooded cards and lay them out in the sun to dry... very happy about that! Again, thanks guys :^) and to any of you that went through the flood as well, I hope you're doing ok and that your families were safe.

By Anon - 05/12/2009 14:19 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 259

You deserved it 17 265

Smoke 'em if you've got 'em

By Dumbweed - 28/08/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 258

You deserved it 67 756

By Queso Dog - 02/10/2012 14:42 - Japan

Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 257

You deserved it 28 620

By anonymous - 15/08/2016 03:35 - United States - Bloomington

Today, I received a birthday card from my dad, over a week late. It was addressed to me using my maiden name, the enclosed check also made out to me using my maiden name. I've been married for over 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 256

You deserved it 1 559

Toot toot

By gassy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 254

You deserved it 36 099

Thanks, I hate it

By ZeldaovaPeach - 05/07/2016 12:44 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 252

You deserved it 1 208

By insomnia - 22/12/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 246

You deserved it 69 088

Maintenance

By DoubledTrouble - 21/07/2016 11:58 - United States - Washington

Today, my kids overheard me talking about cleaning the fuel system in our RV before we go to Disney World. They were so eager to get there, they decided they'd clean the fuel system themselves while I was at work, namely by pouring Tide into the gas tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 245

You deserved it 1 305

The more you know

By essay2 - 24/09/2011 18:47 - United States

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 228

You deserved it 83 398

Hard place

By RohnAbheek - 21/08/2011 17:36 - India

Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a Viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 226

You deserved it 47 412

By jackroarrr - 12/05/2016 17:47 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I went to work expecting praise for working overtime last night after taking a client to the hospital. Instead, I got suspended without pay for working unapproved overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 223

You deserved it 1 428

jackroarrr tells us more.

jackroarrr 25

Friday 13 May 2016 3:20

I work at a group home ... As my shift ended and my coworkers told me they needed to go home I volunteered to take the youth to the hospital and followed procedure filled out the paper work and was at work on time for my next shift I feel like a good job or thanks for not waking me up at 1130 at night and dragging me out of bed from my boss would be appropriate. Entitled no but a thanks instead of a suspension would have been nice.