Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML
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Top comments
old09 11
They're invisible I swear!
rattusrattus 19
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP! You can't let your boyfriend know that you're a human being with bodily functions! He will never want one of those! Your relationship is doomed! *clutches pearls, swoons*
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Comments (68)
lilhellian 27
Omg did nike make them.. They are so like gonna be the latest fad.. Where can I get a pair...
porcupineattack1 5
Listen man i know you saw your chance for the first comment but if you got nothin just don't comment.
asnakelovinbabe 16
#8 I love your pic. That is all.
sarah6786 14
There were no shoes.
iOceanus 18
19: There's this thing on the internet, don't know if you've heard, it's called sarcasm.
electrorange 13
Nike Air!
soph_volleyball 11
That wasn't even funny tho...
jojimugo 20
Don't do that....
Codezlol 21
Nike Air Force 1, pumps son. PUMPS!!
Harpy20 24
Girl's don't fart! Lies built on LIES.
old09 11
They're invisible I swear!
camsterjoe 12
The invisa-shoe! For three payments of $19.95 you too can blame your shoes on social accidents. Call now and you will get the invisa-socks to go with your new shoes!
ironichalibut 24
They're spray on shoes, I swear! They're totally real, I saw it on the Internet.
igive 29
At first I thought you were talking about the farts being invisible.
wlddog 14
70, How often are your farts visible?
DogsPaw 16
Cartoon farts!
tjv3 10
People fart that's life . If you hold it in then you will just let it all out when you sleep
asnakelovinbabe 16
Hi, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH ANOTHER AMAZING PRODUCT!
klimpomppp 9
90-mine are just a green fog...why do you ask?
jawztheshark 6
Maybe you shouldn't feed your shoes so many beans
mikeymayhem_87 15
Or cabbage!
Jaevwyn 17
Guys, Brussel Sprouts :)
ICastillo 25
Beans, beans the magical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot!!
CheeseTron 15
Bla bla.. Electric eel.. Bla bla bla window seal!
iammeorami 25
holy **** cake your totally right
Twisted_Angel 17
Lmfao!!! I can only imagine what the look on his face was... now he just thinks your feet smell like ass. good work.
zingline89 18
"Oh and I was making egg salad too before you got here. "
jetsown08 21
I don't think her boyfriend will be interested in any salad after this, even if it's tossed.
rattusrattus 19
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP! You can't let your boyfriend know that you're a human being with bodily functions! He will never want one of those! Your relationship is doomed! *clutches pearls, swoons*
zombieslayer83 19
After all everyone poops, Well poots, in this case.
rogerdodgeroz 4
Yeah girls don't fart ..
Judahsh 8
Might be true, he knows she does, yet its impolite.
happle 21
I'll think twice before letting gas escape my body next time.
teareb 9
Maybe not the best excuse, but don't worry about it everyone farts it's only natural.
ICastillo 25
Aww screw it OP when you have to drop a bomb, well bombs away.
mydadpulledout 17
come on noor, I hold you to a higher standard of commenting than that!
ICastillo 25
It didn't work ^^
Omfgitsmia 15
Well, everyone does it. That is embarrassibg though. You'll laugh about it later.
happle 21
"Hey babe, remember that time I farted? Lololol" So classy.