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OP here! Just to clarify, I was very understanding of his stress. We both actually suffer from anxiety so it was a hard day in general. This was going to be his first night moved out from his parents though and change is always hard. Once we woke up the next morning I showed him we got published and we were both excited! haha no hard feelings on either side:) The honeymoon has been great. It's so nice to get away from everyone:) Thank you for all the kind wishes! We are both so excited to be married to each other as best friends.

By JulietMarie - 10/10/2014 19:12 - United States - Baldwinsville

Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 097

You deserved it 3 540

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 341

You deserved it 68 787

Fundies say the darndest things

By Lyle - 13/12/2020 02:07 - United Kingdom

Today, after my father in law upset my 6-year-old son by telling him creating a world in Minecraft is a sin, because only god is allowed to create worlds so all Minecraft players will burn in hell one day, it's been 5 days since he's slept right because he’s scared the Devil will burn him if he falls asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 633

You deserved it 125

The betrayal

By Anonymous - 14/02/2022 16:01

Today, like an idiot, I accidentally included stuff I learned from snooping in my daughter's secret diary during a conversation with her. She's not happy at me right now, so I may have to polish off my old grovelling skills from when I was still married to her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 2 545

By allergic_to_bull - 08/10/2014 18:48 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 545

You deserved it 4 263

Tasty

By bob - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was eating noodles. Midway through chewing, I sneezed. The noodles got stuck in my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 427

You deserved it 4 231

By mylifesucks - 10/07/2013 20:10 - United States - Ellijay

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 236

You deserved it 10 262

By Anonymous - 17/11/2010 08:03 - United States

Today, I confessed to my best friend that I love him and always have. He whispered to himself, "Why do the fat chicks always want me?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 490

You deserved it 8 874

By Anonymous - 24/05/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 197

You deserved it 47 597

By b3ardown23 - 07/09/2011 01:14 - United States

Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 715

You deserved it 2 842

My last brain cell

By Lewis - 25/01/2019 19:00 - France - Paris

It has been a tough week

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 78

Don't accept every dare

By wheezy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 206

You deserved it 28 826

By Anonymous - 25/07/2012 10:54 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 576

You deserved it 13 841

By Dejected - 07/12/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I finally got a hold of my husband, who I haven't actually talked to in two and a half weeks, since he's deployed and it's hard to chat. He told me he couldn't talk because he was in an epic battle. In Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 214

You deserved it 4 736

That's some BS

By unemployed - 21/05/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her Bluetooth headset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 780

You deserved it 77 846

By Anonymous - 24/07/2012 02:08 - United States

Today, I saw a news story about how wearing flip-flops is dangerous. I scoffed at the ridiculous study and went about my business. Three hours later I accidentally ripped off my toenail. While wearing flip-flops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 027

You deserved it 22 929

By SuperStagiaire - 15/06/2011 02:54 - India

Today, I’m an intern and was given a pile of files. Do I have to process them? Nay! Simply remove all the staples with nothing but my nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 61

By me - 11/11/2010 18:11 - United States

Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 297

You deserved it 4 907

By camerashyguy - 20/09/2014 03:14 - United States - Longview

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 909

You deserved it 8 920

By Why_Not31 - 01/09/2011 21:58 - United States

Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 300

You deserved it 7 407

Why_Not31 tells us more.

Why_Not31 12

Wednesday 14 December 2011 2:23

It was one of those knee-high single wire barbed fences they use to keep deer/horses and stuff away from certain places like roads...I think. I don't really know what those fences do, except trip people and hurt a lot. At least it wasn't electric.