Maybe borrow a pair of scissors... But still, what a stupid task to be assigned to :/

Someone has to do it

Is there not a pair of stable removers in the entire office? You should've asked around.

I doubt they'd have that. I mean... Then where would the horses go?

I tried to correct that to staples but it wouldn't fucking let me after that edit period was up. bleh

We only have one remover in our office that is stable, the others are quite erratic.

That maybe a test OP, to challenge your patience and perseverance and also to see how would you act in a dire situation. Best of luck..

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..

Or just use initative?

On the resume, it will say "put in charge of project to mitigate hazardous metals in sensitive organic material."

It'll be so worth it and toughen you up.

And so it comes down to us, the FML community, to solve the OP's problems by suggesting sophisticated out-of-the-box solutions like… scissors or a staple remover. I'm sure neither crossed the OP's mind… over a decade ago.

*half a decade ago

Rip the pages off, stack them neatly back together. When confronted about it, say "You asked for the pages to be separated. I figured you'd want someone who's efficient and effective."

If all else fails, use your car keys. It's helped me in the past.

Uh... who just read that this was written in 2011. -_-

She's probably a Senior Executive Staple Puller by now and her nails are as tough as...well, nails.

That sounds like part of a hazing ritual, give the new recruit a meaningless task to see if they brake. Stay strong and put em in their place. Remember it's the strong who persevere.

Removing staples is a valid task especially if they're too busy at the moment to get you trained or oriented for a harder project that day.
Advising an intern to put the company employees "in their place" isn't the best idea. That's not how you prove you're a team player that's willing to pick up the slack and do the less desirable portions in a project. Everyone pays their dues and pitches in. Besides Grunt work always falls to interns.

why are we just now seeing this? it was written in 2011.....