My last brain cell By Lewis - 25/01/2019 19:00 - France - Paris It has been a tough week I agree, your life sucks 283 You deserved it 77 Share Tweet Share
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML I agree, your life sucks 794 You deserved it 1 901
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML I agree, your life sucks 458 You deserved it 1 894
Today, my friend told me, "Just think positive!" to lift my mood. I unconvincingly replied, "Sure thing." An hour later, something positive did happen. When I took a Covid test. Maybe positivity just isn’t my thing. FML I agree, your life sucks 350 You deserved it 105
Today, I made it my life goal to own a towel heater. FML I agree, your life sucks 11 120 You deserved it 28 182
Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML I agree, your life sucks 12 686 You deserved it 1 206
Today, I had my first conversation with someone on a dating site. “I’m trying to get to know you.… so, are you a big girl? I haven’t really been able to look at your profile.” FML I agree, your life sucks 956 You deserved it 213
Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 554 You deserved it 3 013
Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said, "Avada kedavra!" She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 754 You deserved it 3 128
The accuracy of this post is too high!
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