he meant well but he's not very observant...

he's an idiot. he meant well? let them kick you in the nuts as a meant well

#15 HE. WAS. DRUNK!!!

It was probably dark

My question is why was she wearing a tampon while sleeping in the first place? You're not meant to. It can be very dangerous and cause TSS which can be fatal.

#161...thank you for being the voice of reason. I was going to post exactly that. I am 47 years old and have never had any issue with sleeping with a tampon in. If used correctly there is very little chance of it causing TSS.

So what? He sent her to the freaking hospital because he messed with her while she was asleep. Drunk or not he's responsible for his actions.

He was drunk

^ OP's boyfriend.

We're guys. We wouldn't even think to look for that because even if your girl/woman had a tampon in she always goes to the bathroom and removes it before you start sexy time. Even if he felt something (probably didn't, was drunk) he'd never expect it to be that. More like a string on her underwear in the wrong place

Obviously some things in there you don't have to be "looking for it" to notice some things in there. Yes he was drunk but you'd notice if you were trying to stick your finger in there.

I agree with you! Like how do you NOT feel something there?!

So the only way to make up for something is to spend money?

Where did they say it was the only way?

He was drunk

I hope he didn't drive you to the hospital.

yes, because you don't drink and drive

Maybe because you don't shove it up as far as you can.

Maybe your drunk boyfriend doesn't finger you in the middle of the night!

As a nurse, we occasionally get women coming into emergency with 'lost tampons' or various other 'lost' things. The ****** is shorter than people seem to think. We give them a glove and ask them to go into the bathroom and try to remove it themselves one more time, most of the time they can remove it themselves. Unless they are really overweight or have mobility problems most women can touch their own cervix, and a tampon is not going to get past that.

What's the strangest lost object someone's "lost" in there that you've had to deal with?

They generally find it themselves. Once they realise their ****** isn't a bottomless pit. Most of the time they are afraid of pushing it further into their body and once we explain their anatomy to them they are fine. Far better than waiting for hours in emergency. It's a common misconception. One time I had to use a speculum to have a look because they were not sure where part of a piercing went. A tiny ball is much harder to find than a tampon. But I will tell you a story a police friend told me. They did a thorough search of a woman before putting her a cell, all clothes changed etc. Next thing they see on the monitor she is listening to an iPod. Only a few places she could have hidden it. My friend made sure to pick up the iPod wearing gloves.

As a nurse I have found a key ring with one key and automatic door lock, and two heroin packets and an uncapped needle. Luckily the needle partially fell out when moving the patient and no one had search around up there.

Where's @DocBastard when we need him? He'll have some great stories to add. LOL

this is ridiculous. i mean it I'd very obvious that he was touching her to seduce her and in that instance wake his girl up, now being drunk he didn't realize she had on tampons(how? who the **** knows) but this is common practice lol i touch my girl to wake her up and she loves it and sometimes she's too tired and says no. this is starting to feel like her boyfriend was out there touching a stranger, aye some peoples relationships have more sex in itvthan others lol if you're isn't similar don't go crucifying op's boyfriend

Andyyy

Are you one of those people who carry around those ridiculous consent cards? He is her boyfriend, he was obviously living with her or spending the night. Was he was supposed to shake her fully awake, then ask permission to touch her? When he leans in to give her a kiss, does he have to ask first? Give me a break with that only yes means yes crap.

Different couples have different opinions of consent. My boyfriend can touch without asking me. If I don't want then I tell him no and he backs off.

No chance of a morning wake up ******** from this chick guys.

Wtf are you people actually advocating assault? lol if it was his penis everyone would be screaming rape. Penetration is penetration. Dude was drunk and she was dead asleep. He fingered her hard enough to jam her tampon up inside her, so much so she needed to go to hospital. I don't know what kind of consent rules they have but using the hyperbole of consent cards is bullshit. He seems to think he can do whatever he wants with her, while drunk while she is asleep. Should she wait until he rectally tears her while she is asleep? She needs to talk to him about this.

And are you one of those people who think everyone that doesn't agree that something is necessarily a sexual assault is automatically a rape apologist? He is her boyfriend - he was coming on to her, in their bed - this was not assault. The fact that she went to the hospital does not make this assault either. And if you read some of the comments, did you notice the one by the nurse, who said it was most likely something she could have taken care of herself based on her experience as a nurse.

Cool story man.

So are you saying its okay even if you are FAST ASLEEP? Are you saying that assault cannot happen if its in your own bed? Are you saying you can't be assaulted by your partner? Are you saying if you can treat yourself at home then there was no problem? If you're fine with being fingered while asleep that's your deal, but she disliked it enough to post here. Hyperbolic consent does ruin interactions, but wtf this is creepy as hell. Being drunk is not an excuse, and he needs to know that.

I guess what I am trying to say is I don't care.

To have sex or do sexual things, both parties need to know and agree to what is going on. There's a difference between affection between a couple and sex. She was asleep. She could not give consent. No definition of the word consent includes people who are not awake. She doesn't seem very upset about the fact that he did it, it seems more about the fact that he caused her discomfort and a hospital trip. If he had asked and made sure she was on board, she could have either taken it out herself and avoided the trouble or told him she was not in the mood. Regardless, the mindset that just because you are in a relationship that it's okay to help yourself to someone else's body in such an intimate way (penetration and genital touching certainly goes beyond an affectionate kiss or hug that is normal for romantic relationships) is dangerous at worst and inconsiderate at best. I don't see how anyone could disagree with the statement that everyone should be on the same page when it comes to sexual encounters.

Lol. Feminism strikes again...

This is hardly a discussion that involves feminism. Making sexual advances on someone without their consent is illegal and completely wrong. It's disturbing that so many people don't see a problem with it. Sexual assault can exist in relationships.

He obviously needs to be talked to about it but I think different couples have different boundaries, it's up to them to work them out. If you sleep together naked and both initiate sexual contact throughout the night it's a different deal to if you like to have you intimate moments clearly defined.

That's not to say you can't be raped in a very sexualy active relationship. But rape is an act of aggressive (not necessarily physically) control, not a misunderstanding between lovers, it has a terrible impact on people and society so telling this woman she's been raped if she feels something different was the case is kinda horrible.

Whether or not it actually qualifies as rape or sexual assault, fingering someone without foreplay is generally unpleasant - at least to me, I assume it's similar to many other women. Kissing or touching to wake someone up - yes. But just downright jamming your finger without consideration shouldn't be alright. I don't think it's a question of feminism, it's just caring about what the other person feels.

Kissing or touching is different to penetration.

Again sexual contact is different to penetration. Surely if he touched & aroused her she would have woke up. This does sound rather abrupt & as though he was just helping himself & doing what pleased him

I agree it's not an okay thing to do, but calling it sexual assault suggests a trip to the police station, rather than a stern talking to about what's appropriate behavior and a chance for him to prove he's not a total idiot.

It does depend on the relationship. My husbad has complete pernission to wake me up by fingering me or even sex when I'm dead asleep. To some people this may not be acceptable but to other its a wonderful way to wake up. OP was probally okay with this kind of thing normally and this time the husband just made a drunken mistake. Not all relationships are the same.

I agree with 45. I wouldn't mind if my boyfriend woke me up that way. If I wasn't feeling into it that morning, I'd tell him to stop and he would.

I do see an issue with what he's done, but maybe they've said this is an okay thing to wake each other up with? OP clearly trusts her boyfriend and doesn't mind, since only the hospital was mentioned. Me and my boyfriend have spoke of waking each other up like this, and we both promised we would only do it out of love and wanting to make the other happy. But I do agree that if they haven't spoken about it, and no consent was given, then she should talk to him.

52, reading this thread, I was going to say the same thing.

Like a lot of people have said, there was probably consent given beforehand. Like some sort of "policy" decided. I normally sleep naked and my boyfriend has permission to wake me up however he wants but we decided previously as a couple that if I don't want him to wake me up sexually then I just put some panties on before going to sleep or if he tries and I notice and don't want it I just grab his hand and he'll stop. I know a lot about sexual assault and I know a lot of people who have actually been assaulted and it's really annoying when people call everything sexual assault. I know what it's like and from the fact that OP posted it on here (if she feels assaulted it would take a long time to get over and wouldn't be put on social media right away) and the way it was written, you can tell she doesn't feel sexually assaulted so her boundaries probably weren't crossed.

#11, are you a cold fish in bed???? jeez.. .lighten up will ya???

lol not a chance in hell, #18...not a chance in HELL!!!

my partner has permission to touch me while I am asleep. not everyone is the same and my boyfriend would not be raping me.

Uh unless she gave prior consent like i have with my husband. Besides, he was the drink one.

My boyfriend wouldn't wake up to his alarm one morning so I woke him up giving him a ********.... Does that make me a rapist?

Don't understand the amount of downvotes this has? If I was suddenly woken up my boyfriend doing that, especially to the extent that I needed to go to hospital to get a tampon removed, he would never be coming near me again. You should feel safe when you're asleep in your home.

Most loving couples know each other well enough to know and respect each other's boundaries. How is it the place of a stranger on the internet to decide what somebody should consider sexual assault against them, instead of the people actually in the relationship? If both people are generally receptive to their partner waking them with intimacy, and the initiating partner stops as soon as the receiving partner gives an indication they're not in the mood, or otherwise not receptive at the moment, then it's not assault

Wow...this escalated quickly. I guess I assault my boyfriend all the time when I wake him up with a ********. I will go straight home tonight. apologize to him profusely, and promise to never violate him again. I am sure that we will both feel so much better after I show him that I have realized the error of my ways.

my partner wakes me up by going down on me and fingering me all the time, I love it! And I wake him up with a BJ every time he has a day off, sometimes even straight sex, he loves it too. we never gave each other permission, we just do it and it makes us happy. if we're not in the mood we say no and the other backs off. what I don't get is how he didn't know she was "out of order" as we call it in my house. I thought most couples were quite honest about this? but I may be wrong :)

Haha I was about to comment guess I shouldn't wake up my bf with a *******

To #139, No, that makes you one the best girlfriends ever

#164, I'm glad you're being sarcastic. There need to be more girls like you. Any girl that wakes their boyfriend up with a ******* deserves to be in any hall of farm and deserves every award

lol ok MOM, my girl loves to be woken up to that, im just smart enough to keep track of her period, and smart enough to know when somethings in the way

yep, waking up with menstrual blood all over your bed and clothing is certainly more comfortable than a tampon which most people don't even feel eventually.

Most women prefer tampons to a sanitary pad and can sleep perfectly fine with one in. I even wake up on my own in the middle of the night when it's time to change. Before that, they are leakproof, which can sometimes be a problem with pads. I feel uncomfortable going to bed with only a pad, but I guess that's a matter of "to each their own". By the way: FYL OP. That's definitely not something anyone should have to go through.

You're either too young to use tampons, or a man. For most women, when you have your period, "not wearing a tampon" isn't an option on your heaviest days, especially when you sleep...And if you put them in properly, you don't feel them.

I've had to resort to wearing both a tampon and a pad before (before I went on the pill and everything was amazing) it's definitely the more comfortable option to waking up with a river of blood running down your thighs.

22- I use a mooncup but from my experience, tampons are way more comfortable than pads. You can't even feel them!

if placed correctly you shouldn't feel a tampon at all. if its hurting you or uncomfortable then you did not insert it right

pretty sure there are more issues here than OP's use of a tampon when she was sleeping. if her boyfriend hadn't fingered her (or tried to) then the tampon wouldn't have been a problem.

#29, I've never heard of anyone starting their period I their sleep. I guess me and my friends are aliens because we never have. #32, Yes. At the age of 23 I am too young to have a period. I've heard of people losing tampons in their sleep.

32 too young to wear tampons? I wore them since I was 11

Most docs don't recommend using tampons while asleep. Because it's so easy to go over that 9 hour limit or whatever (TSS is rare but they still have to warn you). I personally can't use tampons. They're uncomfortable and they can't keep up with my flow at all.

you can't lose a tampon in your body. basic anatomy

I think this fml is just one to get all the females on here talking about how they know more then other females. I've seen nothing but down votes on almost all comments. You can wear whatever you want when you sleep. People are who they are.

Does your Aunt Flo knock on your door and ask permission before coming in? Because in my experience, it is a biological process that starts and stops when it does, awake, asleep, at school, at work it just happens and it keeps happening even if I go to sleep, school, or work.

#32 there are many reasons not to wear them, for me personally, I have a medical condition which makes it extremely painful to wear them any time especially at night.