Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML
Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
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Top comments
redhedsaysrawr 18
Your love life sounds like something from a TV show...
DomDomxoxo 16
Maybe he wants to eat it off your lady-parts (:
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Comments (76)
redhedsaysrawr 18
Your love life sounds like something from a TV show...
mooleelee 0
Let the puns commence!
RaggleFrock 13
He was getting fruity with you for sure.
RaggleFrock 13
He was getting fruity with you for sure.
ghirahim 5
He wanted to put his banana in your avocado and make some juice!...no? Okay...back to my hole.
Snazzy_Snaz 17
He wanted to peel you to reveal what's hiding underneath.
JustDerpin 11
Maybe this is the same OP from the FML when OP's boyfriend just wanted to cuddle
perdix 29
Every time you have an ******, he says, "But, wait, there's more!"
Welshite 39
Old FML reference. Kudos And that's not all; it slices AND it dices. ;) Edit: Ugh, that was pretty weak.
BeachBoi_Alex 7
Sounds like he's the fruit :S
Karalela44 15
Lol and they did xD
weownthenightsom 4
...and?
DomDomxoxo 16
Maybe he wants to eat it off your lady-parts (:
ihatethesenamez 6
There will always be sex but will there always be juicers?
boating_guy 33
yeah...I've heard mangos are a good choice. just saying ;)
KrazieKleo 13
Mangoes?? I was thinking melons, bananas, cucumbers and such fruits.
YourBuddyElmo 5
Good for smoothies, bad for dry-humping?
PipingMouse 14
Mangoes? That shit burns!
_Could_Be_Worse 11
No, that's a bad idea, because the sugar in the fruit can cause a yeast infection.
GothickNihilist 15
Was it a Jack LaLaine juicer? If so it's totally worth it!
walmartpaysme 15
Hmm, well they say there's a fetish for everything. Maybe he really really likes fruit.
greenie213 23
Get him a bunch of tomatoes.
DKjazz 20
Ooh homemade V8. Very interesting.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Tomato Fruit or Veggie
IAmJad 18
Fruit fetish.
RaveBlade 4
Let him be with his fantasies then :)
nevershoutkendal_fml 10
Some people have foot fetishes. Others like fruit. Do bananas turn you on?
TheOrangeProon 13
No, bananas just make me feel inadequate... ):
tmaq973 7
Your picture makes you look like you are truly saddened by bananas. +1 to you!
Welshite 39
Make him juice beets. I've heard they're good for stamina. ;)