Elephants By FML Videos - 26/11/2018 00:00 Just kidding! agreeclassic 267 vote type 1 85 Share Tweet Share
Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML agreeclassic 43 740 vote type 1 3 988
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML agreeclassic 50 678 vote type 1 11 630
Today, I learned that my husband “accidentally” let the dog out and allowed her to be eaten by an alligator because I got a male coworker, who is also a good friend of mine, a birthday present. We had an argument about our friendship, which apparently bothers him. I’d had that dog since I was a junior in high school. FML agreeclassic 869 vote type 1 150
Today, there was a karaoke at my job's Thanksgiving party. A girl sang and sounded horrible. I later told a colleague about it and said, "She sucked so bad… if I wanted to hear an animal dying, I'd go to a slaughterhouse." She was within earshot and burst into tears. Oh, and she's my boss's daughter. FML agreeclassic 205 vote type 1 1 688
Today, a guy was hitting on me when I was at a café. I told him I was married, but it didn't deter him, so I told him to go away. Later, my husband came home from work with his boss for dinner and sure enough, it was the same guy who was hitting on me. Suffice to say, it was one awkward dinner night. FML agreeclassic 1 243 vote type 1 73
Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML agreeclassic 25 394 vote type 1 2 248
psych 😂