By James - 12/08/2011 07:54 - United States

Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 614
You deserved it 3 114

Same thing different taste

Top comments

spd2fst4u 5

I think I'd have him arrested.


Casually undressing your girlfriend in her sleep? I think we sir, have just gone to defcon 2!

That's plentyyy of time! :D he would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for her meddling consciousness ;)

Casually? I bet he does this every Friday night. Possibly Saturday too. Hell let's go with every night. And even if he only did it once, I say spray him with ant spray and say "Die bitch, die"

^ references to the previous FMLs...... well played sir.

flockz 19

but the real kicker is when the girlfriend woke up, she startled him but instead said "less lovin', more humpin"

He's a legend? More like irreverent towards your girlfriend, but I'm a reverend, so I'm much higher up than he is. (somebody ******* get this)

-35 Unfortunately as they were about to do anything on a log they found, it turned out to be a dead seal.

Well if he ate his fruit like a good boy she might like the taste.

a_lenzmeier 11

True, but she didn't like the hot coffee being thrown on her. Or his crappy taste in music.

Kill the bastard. Then go and undress his mom in her sleep.

is op's roommate 60 years old and your gf 18

What a raper while she was sleeping??( you should ruin that his life

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

66, what good would it do to undress his mom in her sleep after he's dead?

iluvboobies 9

At least he has a gentle touch if she didn't wake up. :)

juicedboi 7

"Insert a witty pun using a previous FMl here".

That's freaking hilarious. Unbelievable. Enjoy the roommate. It could be worse. He didn't undress you.

SunDropGirl 0

25 nice FML refrance! LMFAO!! :D

TheRealHouse 7

He was just looking at her because she was farting so much, but she thought it was because he was in love.

katsteak 0

I wonder if his girlfriend liked it

Why would he confess? He'd already gotten away clean!


well at least he doesn't put your cat in the washing machine and kill all your best friends. (you'll understand if you have seen the movie the roommate)

Can't say I have. But that sounds very bad (what the guy did)

kings1fan 6

maybe that was his next course of action...

prince122 0

oh no not when I just built my mansion :(...

He's one step away from filthy rapist. He is no creeper. I am. He is a rookie rapist.

I pictured the Creeper from the old Scooby Doo cartoon when i read this

spd2fst4u 5

I think I'd have him arrested.

fthislyfe 22

the girl probably liked that cuz she didn't wake up...seriously! she was asleep the whole time??? so they can't arrest him...the girl was in too

fthislyfe 22

thumb downs? really? so u think the girl was asleep the whole time? god...

So rather than place the blame on the guy who confessed straight-faced to undressing a sleeping woman, you'd rather place the blame on a woman whose side of the story you haven't even heard? Yeah, there's a reason you got thumbs-down. People tend to dislike assholes who blame victims for getting assaulted.

dbss11 3

132- why would he confess? how do yu know the whole story? what if she "persuaded" him to say something like that, because she was about to get caught? girls can easily persuade guys with their bodies sometimes, so don't assume while being a smart ass to others, please and Thank yu :)

I agree 5 - very few people seem to see that this is obviously sexual assault. I don't know about being mad for a few days - this guy should be locked up for a few years. Only odd thing (beyond the general perversion of it and having the ability to strip a grown woman without waking her) is that the OP didn't know something was up - if I went to bed clothed and woke up naked, the first person I would ask about this is my wife!

If you secretly ARE awake and enjoyed it, so you pretend to be asleep still and get the pleasure without the blame.

Burnbaby 0

If you are super drunk or on sleeping medicine you don't wake up for anything.

SexySlayer1248 18

That's like sexual assault of a sleeping or unconscious person

It is, 65. If he had done anything SEXUAL, that would be rape.

Okay, I don't mean to be crude or minimize the pain of actual rape victims, but is it actually considered rape if he *only* touches her vulva? Or is that sexual assault, with the term "rape" reserved for forced penetration? Just confused.

@Dalliance: It's legally defined in a different way in every state. However, stripping off somebody's clothes and fondling their genitals without their consent should be considered rape. Sexual assault covers crimes considered less severe, but in a lot of jurisdictions there is some difference in where that line is drawn.

Those stickers with the smiley faces keep people asleep

tell her to press charges. that's a huge warning sign that the guy has severe problems.

That is a precusor to much more serious issues. He needs to be charged with something.

He probably made the whole thing up so you would pay attention to him instead of her. Your roommate sounds like a jealous ex girlfriend.

prince122 0

Unlikely. If he wanted attention he could have said he saw his girlfriend with another guy. I'm sorry I find your comment very random.

PurpleFrostingg 7

I would get a new roommate that's just too creepy...