By FML Approved Fishing Break Brake Fail! Easy living isn't always easy... 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Houston Today, I was telling my girlfriend about how my parents are flying out to Japan today on vacation. She was shocked at how short the flight will be, because "It's on the other side of the world." We live in the USA, and it seems I'm dating a Flat Earther. FML I agree, your life sucks 41958 You deserved it 7385 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was going home with the tomato plant I just bought in my cup holder. The smell of it was filling the car and I love the smell so I picked it up and took a wiff. A few moments later I got pulled over. Apparantly, the cop saw me sniff it and thought I was smelling a marijuana plant. FML I agree, your life sucks 51324 You deserved it 8375 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CarrieRedburn - United States Today, I was walking my dog, and a whole bunch of teenagers were driving around my neighborhood throwing water balloons at people. They followed me for 3 blocks. FML I agree, your life sucks 31401 You deserved it 2858 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By evilsandwich - Canada - London Today, after house-sitting for a week, I came home to find the house in which I rent a basement suite has all but burned to the ground. My landlord didn't even bother to tell me about the fire. FML I agree, your life sucks 34881 You deserved it 2123 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By marriedtoacunt - United Kingdom - London Today, our kids left for the weekend so that my wife and I could have some much-needed alone time. We've been fighting a lot recently and really need some time to have fun together. Now it turns out that she doesn't want to be around me because of the fighting. FML I agree, your life sucks 22980 You deserved it 5757 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Lemont Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML I agree, your life sucks 34814 You deserved it 2438 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By toeloezz - Netherlands Today, during a regular checkup at the dentist, I got a wisdom tooth pulled out which resulted in me looking like a fat hamster. Tomorrow is my first day as an English teacher in high school. FML I agree, your life sucks 11962 You deserved it 1232 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML I agree, your life sucks 11677 You deserved it 34994 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, marks the two weeks since my paycheck should have arrived. During these two weeks, my battery has failed, tire has blown, and my phone and water bill have become past due. When I called the guy who's supposed to pay me, he said he has a note about it "somewhere on my desk". FML I agree, your life sucks 29727 You deserved it 2294 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 23:01 Feeders Today, my boyfriend of 5 years dumped me, after he intentionally made me fat so that I wouldn't leave him. FML I agree, your life sucks 626 You deserved it 833 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Italy - Cervignano Del Friuli Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML I agree, your life sucks 27879 You deserved it 2228 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By latenightbite - United States Today, I found out why my roommate and best friend comes home late three nights a week. She goes to get drunk with some guy, then goes back to his house to hook up. Who is this guy? The guy I've been dating for three years. FML I agree, your life sucks 38045 You deserved it 3075 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ugly - United States - Jerseyville Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML I agree, your life sucks 44052 You deserved it 3480 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I got a reply to my Valentine's Day card that I sent to my girlfriend. I'll get the address right next time because her neighbor is really creeping me out now. FML I agree, your life sucks 11027 You deserved it 23602 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blck - United States Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML I agree, your life sucks 25570 You deserved it 3897 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hilaryinbetween - 14/10/2020 11:01 - United States Signs Today, my supervisor at work was talking about suicide prevention and how to recognize the signs of distress in coworkers. I realized that I exhibit almost all of those signs. FML I agree, your life sucks 1021 You deserved it 84 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Denmark Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he says I need to learn how to be happy without relying on him. I'm not a clinger, I'm just unhappy because my dad recently passed away, my best friend turned on me, and I lost out on the exchange program of my dreams. FML I agree, your life sucks 61158 You deserved it 4088 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Faithy - United States Today, I got flustered because my hair straightener wasn't working. It took me fifteen minutes to realize I hadn't turned it on. FML I agree, your life sucks 9708 You deserved it 48251 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - New York Great start Today, I was starting my new job in the city. A man with a torn suit on came up to me and asks me for spare change. In a hurry to catch a taxi, I declined and rushed to catch one. At the office, my boss was late. About an hour later, I found out the man in the suit was my boss. He was attacked. FML I agree, your life sucks 1831 You deserved it 541 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Canadagirl Today, my boyfriend of seven and a half years broke up with me. By text message. FML I agree, your life sucks 4154 You deserved it 298 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I sent a friend request on facebook to the only person I became friends with this semester at college. He denied me. FML I agree, your life sucks 31077 You deserved it 4339 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Crusty Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML I agree, your life sucks 25225 You deserved it 17659 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MB - United States Today, I called a friend of mine who was recently in an accident. She told me that the head trauma has caused her to lose all sense of smell and taste. To try and cheer her up, I suggested I take her out to lunch. FML I agree, your life sucks 10757 You deserved it 33940 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while I was driving out of the student parking lot I saw people laughing. Then the old security lady yelled for me to stop. She told me my books were on the top of my car but one had already fallen off. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw all of my school papers flying everywhere. FML I agree, your life sucks 16958 You deserved it 31189 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By daddysboy123 - United States Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML I agree, your life sucks 54561 You deserved it 4882 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LoveYouTooMa - United States Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 21872 You deserved it 32472 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML I agree, your life sucks 41193 You deserved it 179428 218 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - United States - Chappaqua Today, my dad got me one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML I agree, your life sucks 40072 You deserved it 5749 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Apopka Today, the guy I broke up with for not putting any effort into the relationship asked if he could make it up to me by taking me out to lunch. He stood me up. FML I agree, your life sucks 34938 You deserved it 6989 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By flipflop - United States Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML I agree, your life sucks 44162 You deserved it 7403 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML I agree, your life sucks 36156 You deserved it 3154 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By disheshateme - United States Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML I agree, your life sucks 27588 You deserved it 3959 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By welp, time to become an assassin - United States - Rowlett Today, I was playing a video game that required me to hunt a few animals. My mom walked in, saw what I was doing, then went into her psycho vegan mode and started yelling at me. She basically grounded me for "murdering" pixels on a screen. FML I agree, your life sucks 48212 You deserved it 4652 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous It's not mine, dumbass Today, my girlfriend announced to me that she is pregnant and tried to tell me it was mine. I lost both testicles to an infection as a teenager so, no way it’s mine. Somehow, she never made the mental connection that no balls equals no children and no way to convince me I’m the dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 3692 You deserved it 168 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/4/2020 05:00 Hello, I love you Today, I had a very good-looking guy ask for my number while I was at work, but due to our policies I had to turn him down. FML I agree, your life sucks 1564 You deserved it 322 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MillyMan - United States Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML I agree, your life sucks 10897 You deserved it 35313 236 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jumanji - France Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I had downloaded. Of course, it was a fake and the whole carriage was allowed to watch and hear five seconds of butt licking. FML I agree, your life sucks 21891 You deserved it 11927 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By egged - Singapore Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML I agree, your life sucks 46036 You deserved it 2248 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I met a close friend of my husband for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML I agree, your life sucks 33825 You deserved it 2495 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 8to10days - United Kingdom Today, I received a new debit card, so I cut the old one into pieces. I then picked up my remaining card, and realized I'd cut up the wrong one. FML I agree, your life sucks 11848 You deserved it 54770 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Madrias | 36 #7539237 - Saturday 9 September 2017 11:06 Looks like that car's sleepin' with the fishes. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Madrias | 36 #7539237 - Saturday 9 September 2017 11:06 Looks like that car's sleepin' with the fishes. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 352 You deserved it 19 1 Comments
Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML I agree, your life sucks 658 You deserved it 190 2 Comments