Kids, Relatable and Drugs: Dumbass

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 09/12/2021 08:01

Today, not only is my son stupid enough to spend £50 on a bag of garden weeds because the dealer told him it was marijuana, he's also stupid enough to refuse to believe he was conned, and try to smoke it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 207

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By idiot says "you raised him" - 31/05/2014 21:30 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 186

You deserved it 7 996

Midlife crisis

By Husband for sale - 02/06/2022 02:00

Today, I had to inform my midlife-crisis husband that the "weed" he had "scored" from his "dealer down the pub" was actually just a lot of mixed herbs. He refused to believe me and smoked it anyway, I mean, I'm only a chef in a restaurant, what do I know about herbs? He's still coughing by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 124

By Anonymous - 16/08/2019 06:00

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 2 640

By wah wah "you raised him" - 22/04/2014 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 802

You deserved it 5 269

By thinking of military school - 23/10/2016 20:35

Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 502

You deserved it 3 689

Sneaky dad

By say no to dick - 18/04/2014 22:56 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 747

You deserved it 43 598

By hypercrite dad - 19/09/2014 18:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 146

You deserved it 15 543

Creepy

By Anonymous - 16/11/2021 02:04

Today, I found out what my son has been celebrating. Apparently, his boss caught him smoking weed and fired him, then had a massive stroke and now has the IQ of a potato, so my son just kept turning up to work since his boss hadn’t had the time to tell anyone he was fired, or to fill out any paperwork. My son is scum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 443

By Joe Lizen - 07/08/2012 01:40 - United States - New Lenox

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 200

You deserved it 2 182

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 820

You deserved it 9 728

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 9 December 2021 17:38

Well, now you can use his college fund to buy your boat -- today.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 9 December 2021 17:38

Well, now you can use his college fund to buy your boat -- today.

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media Love AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Technology Education Relatable Students Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 279

You deserved it 3 577

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 277

The Top

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 027

You deserved it 35 402

Today, I had a sleepover with two of my friends. We only had one bed, and it ended up with me against the wall. I then remembered that I'm very claustrophobic, and can't sleep. It's 4 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 269

Today, I was going to hang out with my crush and tell him how I felt, but he cancelled because I had COVID 5 months ago and his mom is afraid I’m contagious. I’m safer to hang out with because I now have antibodies and can’t transmit it. I’ve also had 4 negative tests since then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 157

Today, trying to be cute, my boyfriend threw a snowball at me. This would have been fine had it not been hard enough to break my glasses. As a college student, I have to choose between eating for the next two weeks or replacing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 958

You deserved it 2 982

Today, I got banned from an art group and put in Facebook jail because I made fun of my own artwork, which I'd posted in a group. I guess you're not allowed to be your own worst critic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 215

Today, after my dad told me to sign my daughter up for expensive dance lessons as a birthday present, and she was ecstatic and very dedicated, I asked him for the payment for this month. He replied, "Oh, she wanted more than one lesson?" Now she won’t stop crying and I have no way to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 144