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OP here. I don't use this site enough to know that I needed an account to reply... I'm a barber. We're all independent contractors and we don't make money unless we're physically working. I make good money and have no intention of quitting; my problem with my coworkers getting stoned is that customers have an unnecessary wait time when they should be able to be served immediately, and when they do come back in, it looks bad on everyone as a whole for them to smell like that on the clock - an no, they're perfumes aren't cloaking it. The boss knows they smoke, she knows they smoke on the clock, but when anyone tells her that someone is being lax, her response is "well more money for you, then." Again, that's not the problem I'm having. I actually like my job, and I want customers to actually have a good experience when they're there. With what my coworkers are doing, they're not. Also, it's an independent store. There is no HR, no corporate, just the woman who owns the business itself - she's the only boss.

By horniness - 10/10/2009 16:30 - Hong Kong

Today, I was in a bad mood after being stuck in traffic for 2 hours and late for work. I was walking to my building when I saw a 100 dollar note flying my way. A man called after me for it, but being selfish I took the note in my pocket as a little reward. That man was my boss. Yes, I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 049

You deserved it 75 014

By joolsie - 13/04/2012 13:11 - United Kingdom - York

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 295

You deserved it 32 095

The reviews are in

By Anonymous - 23/04/2014 07:17 - United States - Rapid City

Today, my teenage son gave me the completed manuscript of the novel he's been working on for 4 years. Surprised and excited that he showed so much dedication to something, I volunteered to read it. I'm only on page 16 and it's absolute drivel, with grammar that makes my eyes bleed. Only 281 pages to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 522

You deserved it 6 684

By Anonymous - 12/04/2012 04:18 - United States - Burnsville

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "Sex". My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 402

You deserved it 4 259

Circular

By Anonymous - 11/05/2021 20:01

Today, I had a panic attack while giving a presentation on how to breathe to avoid having panic attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 200

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 861

You deserved it 10 582

By Anonymous - 04/06/2011 00:41 - United States

Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 189

You deserved it 42 466

Emo teens

By Blanid - 22/05/2021 08:01

Today, my roommate’s 17 year-old daughter got broken up with. She locked herself in her room and won’t stop playing "Driver’s License" by Olivia Rodrigo on a continuous loop. Not to mention sounding like an agonizing cat while screaming its lyrics. It’s been 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 160

Mrs Heckles?

By loud sweeper - 07/10/2019 06:00

Today, my batshit crazy downstairs neighbor threatened me with "legal action" for making too much noise. According to her, it’s "illegal" for people in upstairs apartments to use vacuum cleaners, therefore I must sweep my carpets to avoid disturbing her and her imaginary guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 157

You deserved it 142

Leave us alone

By SweethomeAlabama - 01/06/2021 00:00 - Turkey - Konya

Today, a customer asked me if I was my husband's sister. A little flabbergasted, I replied, "No, I'm his wife." He went on to say, "Ah! But surely, you're related? Cousins?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 194

By Anonymous - 22/03/2012 06:40 - Australia - Saint Marys

Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 841

You deserved it 38 672

By depresso - 13/03/2009 05:30 - Canada

Today, I found an obituary clipping on my kitchen table. It was for my grandpa. No one told me he died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 187

You deserved it 5 100

Preparation

By Anonymous - 18/08/2022 12:00

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 683

You deserved it 500

By Catuser - 06/03/2014 03:09 - United States - Bracey

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 227

You deserved it 55 473

Catuser tells us more.

Catuser 14

Saturday 8 March 2014 6:09

This is the follow up: My teacher did laugh it off but sternly told me to never do it again or I will be suspended from her class. Thanks for publishing my first FML!