By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 695
You deserved it 10 547

Same thing different taste

Top comments

So much for trying to please her... Next time she makes dinner, scream at her that she's cheating on you and practicing cooking for someone else.

Comments

That's a sticky situation right there

asnakelovinbabe 16

It's also one of the easiest ways to end up with surprise babies! The sperm left in his pipes from his handy-work can end up impregnating her during foreplay if he hasn't put a condom on before even touching her, which, many people don't necessarily put it on right away.

Llama_Face89 33
Airman1988 9

I think his women just has a bad case of stupid it has really been going around lately.

Woman* -- If you're going to insult someone for being stupid, don't make a stupid mistake.

honeybadgerDG2S 2

It's because he didn't let her go to the sleep over.

Airman1988 9

Actually 41 the E is very close to the A on my tiny phone touchscreen, it was merely a typo.

That's what you get for trying to make her happy? Wow. I'd be overjoyed instead of a paranoid bitch.

Longer than ten minutes I would think that she would be happy because nothing more upsets a girl than a guy coming up short!

So much for trying to please her... Next time she makes dinner, scream at her that she's cheating on you and practicing cooking for someone else.

Don't you EVER try to make your girlfriend happy op. What were you thinking?

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You resemble Meryl from the walking dead- just a tad though. Maybe its something to do with the facial hair

My god, he does. Sir you are an ass and cutting your arm off is probably the most useful thing you've ever done.

ohcoolstorybro 14

Did you try and cum to terms with her?

Wow. Why on earth are you with someone who doesn't trust you at all?

eaglerob 20

Just fake it next time you're giving her the business end of your stick, my friend