By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 518
You deserved it 10 509

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So much for trying to please her... Next time she makes dinner, scream at her that she's cheating on you and practicing cooking for someone else.

does she really trust you so little???

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That's a sticky situation right there

In no way was that a pun.

It's also one of the easiest ways to end up with surprise babies! The sperm left in his pipes from his handy-work can end up impregnating her during foreplay if he hasn't put a condom on before even touching her, which, many people don't necessarily put it on right away.

1- ...I hate you.

does she really trust you so little???

No trust, no relationship...

I think his women just has a bad case of stupid it has really been going around lately.

Woman* -- If you're going to insult someone for being stupid, don't make a stupid mistake.

It's because he didn't let her go to the sleep over.

Actually 41 the E is very close to the A on my tiny phone touchscreen, it was merely a typo.

That's what you get for trying to make her happy? Wow. I'd be overjoyed instead of a paranoid bitch.

Longer than ten minutes I would think that she would be happy because nothing more upsets a girl than a guy coming up short!

So much for trying to please her... Next time she makes dinner, scream at her that she's cheating on you and practicing cooking for someone else.

Don't you EVER try to make your girlfriend happy op. What were you thinking?

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You resemble Meryl from the walking dead- just a tad though. Maybe its something to do with the facial hair

My god, he does. Sir you are an ass and cutting your arm off is probably the most useful thing you've ever done.

Did you try and cum to terms with her?

Wow. Why on earth are you with someone who doesn't trust you at all?

Maybe she's hot?

At the very least we know she puts out.

Thanks for that giggle guys! I needed that!! :)

Well played car.

Cat? Or are you referring to my baby either one works.

Practicing ****

No good deed goes unpunished...

Just fake it next time you're giving her the business end of your stick, my friend