Miscellaneous: Today, as I was going to bed, I decided to read a book. Just... - FML

By Pisciana unlucky - Brazil - Niteroi

Today, as I was going to bed, I decided to read a book. Just as I touched the book, the bedroom light burned out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4573

You deserved it

428

Tweet

Share

Instadrama

Dementia or hate? You decide

The smell detective is on the case

By Jenny - United States - Anchorage

Today, I discovered the importance of having sex before marriage. We found out that my husband is gay on our wedding night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6809

You deserved it

1602

Tweet

Share

By bizzyizzy0121 - United States

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51460

You deserved it

3175

Tweet

Share

By J - United States - Englewood

Today, I heard from multiple people that my girlfriend called me a dumbass because I apparently sent her "Good Morning" twice. We aren't even three full days into the relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13455

You deserved it

1517

Tweet

Share

By Loser - United States

Today, I was playing a game of truth or dare in a group with a girl I liked. She was dared to kiss me, but then the group decided that that was too cruel of a dare. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50537

You deserved it

4606

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Westfield

Today, I went to my father's house to get my dog, since I had left it with him while I was on a business trip. When I got there, my dad said the dog pooped on the floor a few days ago, and so he took him to the pound. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15992

You deserved it

979

Tweet

Share

By branwen5 - United States

Today, I had my final divorce proceeding. The judge denied my divorce because my husband is unemployed. I can't get a divorce until he gets a job to pay child support. He hasn't had a job for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44613

You deserved it

3818

Tweet

Share

By joe - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16660

You deserved it

26695

Tweet

Share

By nycgirl424 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

69509

You deserved it

3154

Tweet

Share

By foreveralone - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

I agree, your life sucks

19709

You deserved it

23363

Tweet

Share

By appaluver - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house and accidentally blew out a candle that was supposed to be lit for seven days straight. It was in honor of her grandmother who had recently died. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30685

You deserved it

14712

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23468

You deserved it

4585

Tweet

Share

By supercalifragilisticexpialidocious - Australia - Maida Vale

Today, my car broke down on my way home from university. I tried calling for help, only to realise my phone had completely run out of charge. Luckily, I had passed a police station so I decided to walk the 10 minutes down the road to ask for a phone. When I got there, the station was closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14119

You deserved it

1006

Tweet

Share

By leaf hater - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26877

You deserved it

2357

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I started a new job at a glass shop and my boss asked me to vacuum. I ended up tipping over and shattering the most expensive bong in the shop, which retailed at $3,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4088

You deserved it

1010

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/1/2021 18:03 - Singapore - Singapore

Going swimmingly

Today, I was excited to go to swim after a long time of not doing so because of Covid restrictions. After changing into my trunks and putting my goggles on, I jumped into the pool straight away, while still wearing my mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks

376

You deserved it

558

Tweet

Share

By debiebs - Brazil - Salvador

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has a Facebook account. He said he didn't have one. Apparently he's not divorced after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25402

You deserved it

2285

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I decided to eat healthier. I started with making 2 eggs and burning down whole kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3239

You deserved it

790

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/7/2020 02:00

Killing in the name of

Today, I've loved for years that my boyfriend works at an animal shelter, but I learned from his coworker that he’s the guy that puts the animals to sleep, full time, sometimes 30 a day. Now I’m disgusted to sit in the same room as him, because he always says he loves his job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1591

You deserved it

366

Tweet

Share

By noname - United States - Alexandria

Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29101

You deserved it

4448

Tweet

Share

By yrfavweapon - United States

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43411

You deserved it

3855

Tweet

Share

By Autumn

TMI

Today, while discussing my vegetable garden, my father's new girlfriend announced that she loves vegetables in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5185

You deserved it

400

Tweet

Share

By Shelly P. - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

I agree, your life sucks

39427

You deserved it

3512

Tweet

Share

By NotHungryAnymore - United States - Rochester

Today, my boss is now so comfortable with me that she doesn't even try to hide the fact that she goes digging for gold in her nose through every conversation we have. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18726

You deserved it

1336

Tweet

Share

By lingling - United States - Germantown

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28017

You deserved it

5944

Tweet

Share

By KN - United States

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38804

You deserved it

12498

Tweet

Share

By jamienicole1993 - United States - Savannah

Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34331

You deserved it

3241

Tweet

Share

By poongoon

Today, while at the supermarket, I came back to one of my car windows smashed in. Apparently, the stuffed animal my son left in the back seat looks like a dehydrated dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13935

You deserved it

829

Tweet

Share

By ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV - United States

Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53765

You deserved it

4874

Tweet

Share

By FlabbyPants - United States - Fort Myers

Today, I woke up with every muscle in my body hurting so bad I could hardly walk. Participation in a triathlon, or overdoing it at the gym? No, the results of a day spent cleaning the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28641

You deserved it

6407

Tweet

Share

By Tom - United States

Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

80749

You deserved it

6873

Tweet

Share

By cuntocracy - Australia

Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48110

You deserved it

6037

Tweet

Share

By Taylor - United States - Eastchester

Today, I shaved my legs for the first time in three weeks. It took half an hour, three disposable razors, and I cut my legs up so badly they look worse then they did when they were hairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10923

You deserved it

32799

Tweet

Share

By dwellswithin - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend in town. We broke up a year ago because he "moved" to Florida. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52386

You deserved it

4529

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, in an attempt to potty train my 2-year-old, I sat her on the toilet and waited for several minutes. I finally gave up and lifted her off the toilet just in time for her to pee on my new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31813

You deserved it

5812

Tweet

Share

By bob - United Kingdom - London

Today, while doing our Christmas shopping, my sister showed me a product that she really hated. The same one I bought her for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32767

You deserved it

4436

Tweet

Share

By Activesleeper - Australia - Flinders

Today, I woke up to 7 texts about the data overage charges that were accrued last night while I slept. Apparently my phone used nearly 8 GB of data, with no apps open, while I was sound asleep, leaving me with a $63 fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4064

You deserved it

404

Tweet

Share

By financially_wreckd

Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36454

You deserved it

3441

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17230

You deserved it

36769

Tweet

Share

By mandm - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39178

You deserved it

4924

Tweet

Share

By MTJY - United Kingdom

Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML

I agree, your life sucks

43486

You deserved it

5470

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By False_Stupidity | 41

#7446425 - Saturday 29 April 2017 23:19

Well played light bulb, well played indeed.

By paigexox0 | 37

#7446443 - Sunday 30 April 2017 0:12

How is this an FML...

COMMENTS

By tigak47 | 0

#7446358 - Saturday 29 April 2017 21:06

No...there was time now...

By species4872 | 19

#7446373 - Saturday 29 April 2017 21:42

Was the book "Afraid of the dark"?

By False_Stupidity | 41

#7446425 - Saturday 29 April 2017 23:19

Well played light bulb, well played indeed.

By paigexox0 | 37

#7446443 - Sunday 30 April 2017 0:12

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

interesting33 | 36

#7446618 - Sunday 30 April 2017 10:11

literally what I wanted to comment!

By Dustin Allen-Duwayne Lakey | 16

#7446446 - Sunday 30 April 2017 0:19

You shall not read!

By pjsr | 32

#7446482 - Sunday 30 April 2017 1:23

Seems like a very minor inconvenience. Don't you know how to change a lightbulb?

By Arashikage | 18

#7446485 - Sunday 30 April 2017 1:25

Just change the light bulb simple as that

By RichardPencil | 30

#7446493 - Sunday 30 April 2017 1:30

I blame Amazon! "They" want you to get a Kindle -- much more profitable than paper books.

It's ironic (or fitting) that Amazon is screwing with people in Brazil.

Reply

parism143 | 28

#7446696 - Sunday 30 April 2017 12:45

The only Kindle's I've seen don't have LED lights
They're just like reading on paper

By Ughwhateverhomie | 2

#7446539 - Sunday 30 April 2017 3:59

Who cares.

By sexualchoclate | 3

#7446545 - Sunday 30 April 2017 4:22

This is why i don't read books are the devil