Work: Today, I received my first customer complaint. A regular customer...

By Raspution

Today, I received my first customer complaint. A regular customer is uncomfortable because I'm always smiling and saying "see you soon". They're considering treating it as sexual harassment. FML

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raspution tells us more :

OP here and i work for the government apparently this will cost tax payers about 10,000 to investigate. Tax dollars at work.

Work

Understandable

Taking stock

Need warmth

By Crusty

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML

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By fudgydiaper22 - United States

Today, my dad attempted to fix a power outlet. He managed to shock himself with 120 volts and fall backwards, landing on top of me. I am 85 pounds and he weighs 290 pounds. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/5/2021 11:01

Sad news

Today, after years of crushing over my best friend, I finally got the guts to tell her about my feelings, only to find out she has been secretly dating my roommate. I could not have been more depressed. My whole life feels shattered. FML

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By nickyy - United States

Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die while secretly watching porn right when your mom walks in. FML

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By goodsister - Canada

Today, I was yelled at and humiliated by my otherwise awesome brother-in-law for my supposed lack of effort in the planning of a baby shower for my very pregnant sister. The kicker? Her huge, break-my-bank semi-surprise baby shower has been in the works for a month and is happening this weekend. FML

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By Anonymous

Early bird special

Today, despite the fact they know I'm commuting hundreds of kilometres, I was requested to come to work at the earliest possible hour, every day. I'll be waking up at half past 3 a.m. and admire sunrises on my way. FML

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By mama’s boy

Chuck E. Cheese awaits

Today, I realized just how spoiled and immature my boyfriend is when I asked him several times what he’d like for dinner. Getting no answer, I made steak, potatoes and salad. He then sulked and refused to eat it, since he wanted spaghetti and meatballs instead. FML

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By katta2009 - United States

Today, my grandmother died. No one called me to let me know she passed. I found out because people kept writing RIP on her Facebook wall. My siblings and I weren't even mentioned in her obituary with the other grandchildren, but they did remember to mention her dog. FML

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By Nxydolli - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Carlisle

Today, at a family dinner, I found the courage to tell my husband's parents about my schizophrenia. They exchanged weird looks and then there was an uncomfortable silence. Then my father-in-law finally says, "Christ. The grandkids won't come out all nutty, right?" FML

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By xsnqw - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

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By NeedHeadPhone - Canada

I love that for you

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

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By smallmediumatlrg - United States

Today, I went to a yard sale and found a cute plush duck. I sent a pic of it to my friend with the message "Jackpot!" I guess she didn't see the pic because she called me up all excited, thinking my boyfriend of 6 years finally proposed to me. "No, I said, I just found a big duck for $1." FML

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By RC3Welly - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

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By Anonymous

Mommy Goes Commando

Today, I went to a restaurant with my family. My five year old goes under the table and says "Mommy! You forgot to wear underwear!" FML

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By kidyounot - United States - Statesboro

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

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By Ihatemylife - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

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By captain patch beard

RIP Beard

Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

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By drewcaver - United States - Houston

Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML

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By howdoesthatmakesense - United States - San Francisco

Today, we were doing research on contraceptives in class. Afterwards, the girl next to me starts explaining how "cringey" and "grossed out" she gets when she sees/hears "the words for the private parts." She then tells me all about her getting her period that morning in explicit detail. FML

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By notwasted39 - United States

Today, I was walking to my mailbox and I fell down and couldn't get up. My neighbor walked by with his dog, took one look at me struggling, said "What is wrong with kids these days, drunk at 9am" and continued on. I couldn't get up because I am still healing from a stress fracture in my hip. FML

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By anon - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, my father got out of rehab for his alcoholism. This would be great if he hadn't started drinking the moment he got home. FML

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By IcedTaco - Ukraine

Today, the guy I was dating told me he thought I was a good person. His reasoning? I'm not ugly enough to be a bad person, but I'm not pretty enough, either. FML

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By booo - United States - Minden

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

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By snydeeli000 - United States - Kent

Today, I learned the hisses of my 3 cats so I can tell who starts the fights. FML

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By to_complicated_4_u - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML

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By reallyhighschool - United States - Torrance

Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML

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By Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I went shopping with my parents. Halfway through, I got separated from them and tried to call them only to find out my cell phone battery was flat. A few minutes later, an announcement was made for a lost child. It was by my parents. I'm 36. FML

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By Dee Dee - 22/5/2020 08:00

In these times

Today, my husband and I purchased a new-used truck, after being assured for weeks by the company owner we work for that the company will remain open. Later, we received an email saying that the office is closing permanently. Our jobs are "secure", but he needs help selling and moving the equipment. FML

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1303

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By 303 - United States - Houston

Today, I picked up my car from the repair shop, drove two miles, and ran out of gas. I then walked to get gas, put a gallon of gas in the car, and tried to start it. The battery was too weak to start the car, and died on the spot. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Dearborn

Today, I was counselling a soon-to-be teen mom. She has a younger step-brother, and when I asked her how she handled him when he cries, she said, "Oh, that's when you cover their face until they stop!" FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - York

Today, my boyfriend's mum publicly shamed him on Facebook after she caught him having sex under her roof today. Everyone thought it was hilarious, except me. Not because I'm ashamed, but because I'm over 300 miles away right now. FML

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By bezoar10 - United States

Today, my mother and I went to lunch and there is a really cute waiter that works at the diner. I requested him to wait on us like I sometimes do. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard one waiter say to the cute one, "Ya, the creepy one is back, and this time she brought her mom!" FML

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By Hapaboy808 - 8/7/2020 23:01

The final countdown

Today, I'm sharing an apartment in a foreign country with my soon-to-be ex. There are 6 months left on the contract, so we both decided to live here until then to save money. She earns enough to afford her own place. Me on the other hand… FML

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1176

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By Stingraybeemonster - Thailand

Today, I was snorkeling when a stingray suddenly appeared when I thought I was just looking at sand. It startled me, so my heel made contact with a sea urchin so that then startled me, and my other foot hit another one. FML

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By damncat - United States

Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML

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By Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML

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By Notthatone - United States - Madison

Today, I came out as bisexual to my 17-year-old sister. She was quiet for a second, then told me she knows for sure I only have "girl parts". I had to explain to her the difference between being bi and being a hermaphrodite. FML

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By ptiluinthesky - France

Today, my neighbor turned down his loud music that he's been playing for months, only to turn on a porn movie at maximum volume. FML

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Top comments

By lexos | 16

#7579063 - Monday 25 December 2017 19:15

What has the world come to that being polite can be considered as sexual harassment.

People nowadays are way to easily offended

By ThrottleJockey | 34

#7579066 - Monday 25 December 2017 19:24

Well, you ARE a male, therefore your very existence constitutes a sexual harassment claim against you. (sarcasm)

COMMENTS

By lexos | 16

#7579063 - Monday 25 December 2017 19:15

What has the world come to that being polite can be considered as sexual harassment.

People nowadays are way to easily offended

By ThrottleJockey | 34

#7579066 - Monday 25 December 2017 19:24

Well, you ARE a male, therefore your very existence constitutes a sexual harassment claim against you. (sarcasm)

raspution | 21

#7579520 - Wednesday 27 December 2017 2:00

Sadly the world is starting to feel like this.

David Horgan | 8

#7580248 - Thursday 28 December 2017 23:58

That shit is getting out of hand. "Sexual harassment!" what he do!? "He undressed me with his eyes!!"

By Chris Smith | 9

#7579070 - Monday 25 December 2017 19:37

Yep. You just gotta stick with "have a good day, you fucker"

By nemcali | 34

#7579088 - Monday 25 December 2017 21:17

Your company seems to be run by morons who give credit to some silly comments from even sillier customers :(

raspution | 21

#7579543 - Wednesday 27 December 2017 3:24

OP here and i work for the government apparently this will cost tax payers about 10,000 to investigate. Tax dollars at work.

By donb23 | 23

#7579103 - Monday 25 December 2017 22:28

You just can't do anything today without it being considered as sexual harassment. You are too nice- sexual harassment, you make some joke - sexual harassment. You type in the word sexual and the next suggested word is harassment.

ThrottleJockey | 34

#7579138 - Tuesday 26 December 2017 0:13

Really? If I type in "sexual" I'm my Google browser the next suggested word is "pickle". Maybe I'm doing it wrong.

LeoCor | 18

#7580718 - Saturday 30 December 2017 10:24

Some people do overreact honestly, but other times it really is sexual harassment. You have the idiots who want all the attention and others who have been harassed who get ignored because of the idiots

By thejimhawkins | 13

#7579154 - Tuesday 26 December 2017 0:53

Look in the mirror and smile at yourself. Do you look creepy? Some people are unintentionally creepy smilers. I would suggest adopting a permanently grim expression.

By Liongoddess8 | 18

#7579155 - Tuesday 26 December 2017 0:54

I'm sorry, but this is so funny lol but really, I hope you don't get in actual trouble for that. I guess you're just gonna have to frown at your customers now and say "don't come back again" instead of "see you soon".

By thejimhawkins | 13

#7579158 - Tuesday 26 December 2017 0:58

Nothing like saying "see you soon" with the voice and face of death. Certainly won't get a complaint then. At least not for sexual harassment.

By Rodville | 28

#7579172 - Tuesday 26 December 2017 2:32

Get a restraining order out against the person so the store has to tell him to take his business elsewhere as if they try to fire you you can sue them for not providing a safe working environment.

By tonyfan00 | 38

#7579217 - Tuesday 26 December 2017 6:38

Maybe you should ditch the whip and crotchless shorts...those might be sending the wrong message...