Work: Today, I received my first customer complaint. A regular customer...

By Raspution

Today, I received my first customer complaint. A regular customer is uncomfortable because I'm always smiling and saying "see you soon". They're considering treating it as sexual harassment. FML

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raspution tells us more :

OP here and i work for the government apparently this will cost tax payers about 10,000 to investigate. Tax dollars at work.

Work

Proactive

Sorry…

Messed up

By LaLa - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

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By unit - United States

Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML

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By miss_peppermint

Today, my dog of 10 years died suddenly. My husband’s response? “At least you don’t have to buy dog food anymore". FML

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2854

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By no new apartment for me - United States - Hagerstown

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

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51586

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By fuundmental/// - Australia

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

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By iNearlyHurled - United States

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, after weeks of being hounded to go out on a date with this guy, I finally found the time and invited him over, fully intending to hook up. He stood me up. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML

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By mugged - United States

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

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40319

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4818

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By littledonny

Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML

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5796

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By Anonymous

Today, I took my son to festival at a local church. He had a Nerf gun as part of his costume, but when I set it down to put something in my bag, someone walked off with it. We can't even go to a church function without running into thieves. FML

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By ktinanic - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML

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27987

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By poopsthegame - United States - Honolulu

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

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25889

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By Anonymous - United States

Try to do a nice thing…

Today, I mowed our lawn without being asked. My sister wouldn't stop yelling at me for not checking with her, because she wanted the grass to get long enough to "play jungle" in. My mom sided with her. FML

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1744

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By Unemployed

Today, I found out that after three years of telling my boss our strategy wasn't going to work, that I was right - it didn't work. I also found out that because it didn't work, I lost my job. My boss still has his. FML

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24663

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1573

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By ugly - United States

Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML

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41386

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3743

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By Mitch

Today, while reading the newspaper, I noticed that an ad had been placed for my job. I asked my boss for a week off so that I could fly home for my father's funeral. No wonder she was so cool with it. FML

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12028

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By Anonymous

Today, I found out that while I was in the ICU for having had a life-threatening seizure, my boyfriend was out partying with other girls. His excuse was that he needed to find a new girl if I died. FML

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4036

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288

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By Anonymous - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

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46237

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By tsu3 - Germany

Today, after spending about 5 years to go back to school, get my life together and get a real job, I now make about $100 less a month. I used to work as a dishwasher. FML

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32311

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By dontask

Today I was stalking my Bumble match’s Instagram feed before I said hello. I went to tap for sound on a video of him getting his backside tattooed but accidentally double tapped and liked the video. Sound turned on and I realized I liked a video of him farting. Couldn’t say hello after that. FML.

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1018

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By kiki - United States

Today, before my date came to pick me up, I put tissues under my arms so I wouldn't leave wet marks. I forgot to remove them, and when we got physical, they fell out, looking like I'd stuffed my bra. FML

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13355

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By Davios - United States

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

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37513

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By Anonymous

It's a doggy dog world

Today, I was bathing my dog at a self-serve dog wash at a pet store. The person next to me decided to express his dog's anal glands, and the vile, greasy, fish-smelling liquid hit me on the side of my face. FML

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2168

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By Anonymous - Canada - Thunder Bay

Today, while at work, my ex-boyfriend came in. I pretended not to see him, hoping he would just pass on by. No such luck. He stopped to tell me that he was there for orientation. My company hired him. FML

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34930

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By pooraf - United States - Urbana

Today, I got mugged. I almost felt sorry for him: he got a $15 cell phone, a frozen debit card, a credit card with only $50 of credit left on it, and no cash. FML

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By x_o - Hungary - ?ttev?ny

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

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53137

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By Kebabjoon - Spain

Today, I had my first job interview for eight months. My interviewer noticeably yawned during my reply to the first question. FML

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28517

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By Anonymous - United States - Amherst

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

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45242

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By BlueBirdWings

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1415

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268

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML

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30035

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21723

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By slipperyhands - United States

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52883

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By Anonymous - United States - Minneapolis

Today, in my second year at university, I took a pregnancy test. It is the only test I've passed all month. FML

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35407

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By SarahAnne

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I think I'm average looking. He told me that it was OK, unless he wakes up tomorrow with some standards, I'm good enough. FML

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1694

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364

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By dammitRandy - United States - Kearny

Today, we had a fish fry for Father's Day. I ended up getting a fish bone lodged in my tonsil, and I had to rush to the bathroom to pull it out. I threw up three times in the process and still didn't manage to get the bone out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13932

You deserved it

1091

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By monsterinlaw - United States

Today, my obnoxious mother-in-law berated me in front of my husband's family for still working while pregnant. She says I'm harming the baby by not quitting. I'm only 4 months pregnant and I work as a nurse at a hospital. FML

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35101

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By AnonymousCow - Australia - Perth

Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML

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10729

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1848

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By Karl

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

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34635

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - Saint Louis

Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26981

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2015

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By slapstick1982

Perfect contraceptive

Today, I realized that my wife is on her 3rd month using an IUD. The side effect is nonstop bleeding. I haven't had sex with her since she got it. I'd say this contraceptive is working perfectly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2019

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258

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Top comments

By lexos | 16

#7579063 - Monday 25 December 2017 19:15

What has the world come to that being polite can be considered as sexual harassment.

People nowadays are way to easily offended

By ThrottleJockey | 34

#7579066 - Monday 25 December 2017 19:24

Well, you ARE a male, therefore your very existence constitutes a sexual harassment claim against you. (sarcasm)

COMMENTS

By lexos | 16

#7579063 - Monday 25 December 2017 19:15

What has the world come to that being polite can be considered as sexual harassment.

People nowadays are way to easily offended

By ThrottleJockey | 34

#7579066 - Monday 25 December 2017 19:24

Well, you ARE a male, therefore your very existence constitutes a sexual harassment claim against you. (sarcasm)

raspution | 21

#7579520 - Wednesday 27 December 2017 2:00

Sadly the world is starting to feel like this.

David Horgan | 8

#7580248 - Thursday 28 December 2017 23:58

That shit is getting out of hand. "Sexual harassment!" what he do!? "He undressed me with his eyes!!"

By Chris Smith | 9

#7579070 - Monday 25 December 2017 19:37

Yep. You just gotta stick with "have a good day, you fucker"

By nemcali | 34

#7579088 - Monday 25 December 2017 21:17

Your company seems to be run by morons who give credit to some silly comments from even sillier customers :(

raspution | 21

#7579543 - Wednesday 27 December 2017 3:24

OP here and i work for the government apparently this will cost tax payers about 10,000 to investigate. Tax dollars at work.

By donb23 | 23

#7579103 - Monday 25 December 2017 22:28

You just can't do anything today without it being considered as sexual harassment. You are too nice- sexual harassment, you make some joke - sexual harassment. You type in the word sexual and the next suggested word is harassment.

ThrottleJockey | 34

#7579138 - Tuesday 26 December 2017 0:13

Really? If I type in "sexual" I'm my Google browser the next suggested word is "pickle". Maybe I'm doing it wrong.

LeoCor | 18

#7580718 - Saturday 30 December 2017 10:24

Some people do overreact honestly, but other times it really is sexual harassment. You have the idiots who want all the attention and others who have been harassed who get ignored because of the idiots

By thejimhawkins | 13

#7579154 - Tuesday 26 December 2017 0:53

Look in the mirror and smile at yourself. Do you look creepy? Some people are unintentionally creepy smilers. I would suggest adopting a permanently grim expression.

By Liongoddess8 | 18

#7579155 - Tuesday 26 December 2017 0:54

I'm sorry, but this is so funny lol but really, I hope you don't get in actual trouble for that. I guess you're just gonna have to frown at your customers now and say "don't come back again" instead of "see you soon".

By thejimhawkins | 13

#7579158 - Tuesday 26 December 2017 0:58

Nothing like saying "see you soon" with the voice and face of death. Certainly won't get a complaint then. At least not for sexual harassment.

By Rodville | 28

#7579172 - Tuesday 26 December 2017 2:32

Get a restraining order out against the person so the store has to tell him to take his business elsewhere as if they try to fire you you can sue them for not providing a safe working environment.

By tonyfan00 | 38

#7579217 - Tuesday 26 December 2017 6:38

Maybe you should ditch the whip and crotchless shorts...those might be sending the wrong message...